Someone explain to me what religious events would be held at 1:00 AM.
Dinner last night was a disaster. I made baked cod, which normally isn’t that difficult, but I fucked up the breading with too much flour and it tasted horrible. Now, I have the four remaining pieces of cod that I will have to figure out some alternative mode of preparing. I’m thinking maybe fishcakes. I don’t know. I know I can’t repeat last night’s mess.
We’re on day five with no milk, bread, or margarine. SS should arrive somewhere in the next ten days, but it’s going to be a long ten days. I would almost kill for pan-fried chicken. Does any place still do pan-fried chicken? I know how to fix it myself, but I can no longer stand in front of a hot stove for that long. At least the kids are getting good meals at school. I’m not sure they’re eating them, but they’re available.
I’m going to post a video separately from one of our local news stations. In the wake of Sunday night’s mass shooting downtown, the mayor and police chief have finally decided to enforce the pre-existing curfew for teens, especially downtown. For 15-17 year olds, they must either be home or accompanied by a parent between 1:00 AM and 5:00 AM. For those 14 and younger, the curfew starts at 11:00 PM.
I have questions. First, why the fuck did it take a mass shooting before anyone decided that enforcing the existing curfew might be a good idea? Downtown teen violence has been a problem for years now. Why was it not already being enforced? Second, why are we canceling it at 5:00 AM? Are there that mean 17-year-olds with early AM jobs? Third, has anyone bothered to take a look into why unaccompanied teens are downtown that late in the first place? I’m willing to bet that it’s major music events running late. The same goes for all the events on Georgia Street in the summer. Guess what: the city can control what times those events start so that they don’t run so damn late. This is a public safety issue. If the concert needs to start at 6:00 PM, then start it at 6:00 PM and reduce the chances of anyone getting hurt.
I mentioned the curfew to G before he left for school this morning. He laughed. “Why would I ever be downtown that late?” And he’s right. There’s no good reason for a 15-year-old to be downtown, unaccompanied when the city buses aren’t even running. But then, G was asleep by 9:00 last night, anyway. Everyone in the house was. We don’t tell our kids to go to bed. They like bed. Given the trouble we had getting them to sleep when they were preschoolers, we’re not complaining.
What’s sad is that I realistically don’t expect the curfew to stop the violence downtown. Too many parents have to work multiple jobs, leaving too few to provide enough parental oversight. Security is too lax at too many downtown venues, allowing teens access to places not intended for them, especially on Georgia Street. Not enough attention is given to teenage gang violence. Too few young adults make good role models.
Teens stop being “just kids” when they start carrying guns. I’m all for fun, but the only danger should come with the preamble, “Hey, watch this…” not “I’m gonna put a cap in you if you don’t step off, brah.”
Are our kids that weird that they don’t want to go running around anywhere on the weekends? G is especially nonchalant about the concept. Tipper is only interested if her BF is going, and he doesn’t like going anywhere for very long.
Neither are we particularly harsh with limiting the kids’ activities. We don’t have to be. They don’t ask. That may well have something to do with being on the spectrum, but if so I’m not complaining. They’re well-behaved kids who appear to be enjoying their lives. We get excited when they actually want to do something outside the house.
I’m the only one who wishes they were out more. Figures, doesn’t it? Those that can get out don’t want to. The one person who wants to, can’t. I don’t remember the last time I was at a live music event. First Fridays seem like an ancient memory at this point. Staying out past 1:00 AM? That hasn’t happened in months. I’m missing me.
And it keeps fucking raining. The current forecast shows more rain around noon today. I guess this will be another day I’m forced to stay in bed, fighting off the pain. The level at which this sucks is immense.
Sigh. Fried chicken. I shouldn’t be craving fried chicken at 7:00 in the morning. Help me.
There are a number of images that have aged off the server. We caught a few and put them back.
Benjamin Netanyahu is lying through his ugly mug. After Israeli drones murdered seven aid workers yesterday, the Prime Minister did exactly what I predicted: He said it was an accident and that these things happen in war.
If these things happen in war, it is because someone made them happen.
Late yesterday, US time, World Central Kitchen’s founder, Chef Jose Andres’, told Reuters in an exclusive interview that it was, in fact, no accident at all. He said that the vehicles in the convoy were targeted, “systematically, car by car.” Furthermore, he said that this was not the first time! This was the THIRD time that the drones had targeted the convoy! This repeated targeting makes it exceedingly clear that Tuesday’s event was not an “accident.”
“This was not just a bad luck situation where ‘oops’ we dropped the bomb in the wrong place,” Andres said.
“This was over a 1.5, 1.8 kilometers, with a very defined humanitarian convoy that had signs in the top, in the roof, a very colorful logo that we are obviously very proud of,” he said. It’s “very clear who we are and what we do.”
“They were targeting us in a deconflicting zone, in an area controlled by IDF. They knowing that it was our teams moving on that road … with three cars,” he said.
“Even if we were not in coordination with the (Israel Defense Forces), no democratic country and no military can be targeting civilians and humanitarians,” he added.
What’s worse than being inexcusable? The attack was inexcusable two days ago. Now that we find that the attack is part of a repetitive chain, of deliberate and unprovoked attacks on unarmed international aid workers, the only designation left is to recognize this as a WAR CRIME.
I’m furious that the US is believing Netanyahu’s bullshit about it being an accident. The time has come for the UN, led by the US, to stand up to the litany of lies that Netanyahu is telling and DEMAND that this war be brought to an end NOW. There is no room for any level of tolerance at all. The war must stop and the US must take the lead in making it happen because Netanyahu is a ridiculous buffoon making a dangerous and deadly power grab.
And more rain. It rained off and on throughout the day before mixing with sleet and snow toward the evening. Walking across the yard feels like walking on a sponge. Most of the day was spent in bed and even when I did manage to force myself to stay up I felt miserable. I couldn’t sleep most of the time; I just curled up in a ball under the covers. This is a horrible existence that feels like it will never end.
Finding things that I can eat is becoming more difficult. Yesterday, there were sufficient leftovers from Tuesday, which were leftovers from Monday. Today will be more challenging. There’s still no milk, margarine, or bread. I may have one full pot of coffee left. There’s nothing simple to make for breakfast or lunch and those are the meals when I am at my weakest. Standing at the stove and cooking is rarely an option. Don’t get me wrong, there is food in the house, but either it contains too much sugar, too much salt, or takes too long to prepare. Having to thaw an entire two or three-pound package of meat just for lunch is impractical.
I miss doing lunch. I miss a really good cheeseburger and fries. I miss a perfect cheesesteak with the onions grilled just right. I miss baked potatoes with everything on them. I miss fried chicken with mashed potatoes and greens. I miss barbecued beef tips. I miss hashbrowns, scattered, covered, smothered, and topped. I miss the Chinese buffet that has actual Asian people in the kitchen. I miss pet-friendly breweries with all the dogs coming in to say hi. I miss Chicago-style pizza. I miss Italian food served family style. I miss real food that didn’t have to be modified with sugar substitutes or no salt or no fat or low carb or fake milk. I miss sitting around a table laughing with friends.
Looking over that list, it feels almost as though I’m missing some of the best parts of life. I mean, what’s really left at this point? I’m having difficulty making sense of any of it. I’m going through all this suffering but there’s no promise that I’ll ever get back any of the joys I’ve lost. What’s the point of living if there’s no life left? Please, help me make sense of it all.
Kat went and visited her niece yesterday, the one I’ve not seen since she was brand new. She’s toddling now, jabbering, and reading books. She has hair and a delightful personality. She’s at an incredibly fun age, but I can’t be there. The risks for the baby are too high.
Three of the kids of birthdays this month: Ben, Tipper, and Big Gabe. I can’t travel to see Ben or Gabe. Tipper’s having a girls-only lunch on her birthday. We’re supposed to have a family dinner a week later, but there’s no way to know if I’ll physically be able to attend. If it were held today, the answer would be no.
Fuck cancer. Fuck chemo. It’s been over a year now and nothing feels like it’s getting any better. Nothing.
For much of the past month, I’ve been getting ads between YouTube videos for a set of speakers, all of international origin, trying to get me to invite them to my church to talk about sexual trafficking. They claim that if they can come to my church, together we can help eliminate the horrible global problem of sexual trafficking. The ad shows photos of them speaking against a black background, laid over some random crowd shot that could have just as easily been a basketball game.
There are many problems with this ad. First, I don’t have a church and I did its regular attendance number would be around three, on a good day. Second, none of the names were recognizable and there was no way to check their credentials. Third, the photo felt fake. The solid black backgrounds matched too perfectly. Nothing was defining about the “crowd” to legitimize a specific location. Fourth, there were no endorsements from well-known third parties, such as UNICEF. I don’t know if you’ve worked around legit NGOs, but I assure you this is not how any of them work.
Then, one of the first things I read this morning was this headline:
Philippine court orders arrest of religious leader with ties to Duterte
The article centers around a megachurch pastor, Apollo Quiboloy, who calls himself “owner of the universe” and “appointed son of god.” He is charged with sex trafficking and sexual abuse of a Philippine woman. The Philippine court reversed a 2020 decision dropping the charges because the victim in this case continued to press the matter, making it impossible for the court to deny her charges.
Quiboloy also faces charges in the United States of sex trafficking based on accusations of coercing girls and young women to have sex with him. He is on the FBI’s “Most Wanted” list.
And this is why the church cannot be trusted to actually do anything to end sex trafficking. Sure, they make a lot of noise about it, and it’s become an election-year rallying cry for right-wing congregations who are sure that governments as responsible for the problem because, are you ready… Epstein. However, churches are not in the policing business, are they? Consider a few highlights:
And yet they want to be the ones who put an end to the very activity that has been one of their core interests for centuries? Let’s not forget that these same organizations supported slavery for over 400 years. They were adamant that by taking black people out of godless Africa they were helping to save their souls. Are we really going to fall for this trick again?
There’s no question that sex trafficking is a problem, but religion is absolutely not the way to solve it. First of all, churches have no legal authority outside the confines of their own addled minds. They can’t go running around internationally taking on the bad guys and putting them in jail. One doesn’t just walk into a sex trafficking operation and shut them down without a lot of authority, and usually a lot of firepower. This is dangerous work that needs to be carried out by professionals, not a group of folks with questionable divinity degrees.
Another huge issue is that the church’s mission of forgiveness lies in opposition to the legal need for punishment and restitution. We don’t need anyone cornering a bad guy and letting them off with a warning that “if you say 34 Hail Marys and promise to never do it again, we’ll let you go. Solving the problem of sexual abuse and sex trafficking first requires that people listen to the women and children who tell them what is going on, and believe what they’re being told. The church cannot be trusted to do that. They’ve never done it before, so why would anyone in their right mind trust them now?
Sex trafficking is rampant around the world for a number of reasons. Not only is there this long-standing problem of not listening to women, but it is far too easy to escape capture simply by moving from one country to another. There’s little cooperation between law enforcement authorities around the world, even in places where they share borders. Even if people are kidnapped in China, for example, getting sex trafficking charges in the US to stick is difficult because a) some of the people wanted to come to the US in the first place, and b) the Chinese government isn’t terribly cooperative in taking victims back or filing charges on their end.
Without a universal law enforcement agency that has the ability to make arrests regardless of a person’s country of citizenship and a court that can actually enforce international law promptly, all manner of international crime falls between the legal cracks. The bad guys succeed because international law is broken and toothless. These are the same empty laws that allow smugglers, drug dealers, and spies to get away with their horrible acts. Until there’s some stronger enforcement around the globe, there’s not a lot to stop the bad guys.
One thing that could work is responsibly legalizing sex work. I know a lot of conservatives, and especially religious conservatives don’t like having this conversation because they don’t want to understand human sexuality, but there are at least four benefits to legalizing sex work.
Other things we can do include addressing poverty, the lack of opportunities (especially being able to move between countries freely), and inequality. These are all critical to effectively combating sex trafficking and abuse.
Several states now require that signs be posted in businesses that say something to the effect: “If you or someone you know is being forced to engage in an activity and cannot leave, whether it is prostitution, housework, farm work, factory work, retail work, restaurant work or any other activity, call the National Human Trafficking Hotline.”
Human trafficking isn’t only about sex work. The high demand for farm work and low-wage warehouse work are perfect conditions for human trafficking because there’s little public interface or knowledge of the situation. I am aware of one instance from two years ago where traffickers attempted to push warehouse work that required a lot of walking and lifting onto a 74-year-old Senegalese woman who could barely walk without assistance, couldn’t lift, and had severe breathing problems. The argument for human trafficking was, in my opinion, one of the most obvious I’d ever seen. Yet, the management at the warehouse didn’t want to report the incident because of the high number of “good” workers the “agency” provided.
We don’t need the church involved in solving human trafficking. We need real laws that stick and the international clout to enforce them. Until we have that, poor and desperate people around the world remain in danger.
People love to bitch. If there’s one thing the Internet has done, it’s brought out the false outrage factor in a lot of people over things that are often insignificant. We get upset over the tiniest little things that, in the grand scheme of things, make absolutely no difference… until they do. False outrage can result in the passage of ridiculous laws attempting to fix a problem that never actually existed. We’ve seen several states do just this in regard to a non-existent problem regarding immigrant violence. Now, Louisiana’s governor seems ready to do the same thing over a fucking basketball game.
Here’s what happened: Monday night, prior to the LSU/Iowa game in the NCAA women’s basketball tournament, LSU coach Kate Mulkey guided her team back to the locker room following their warm-up period, per normal. While they were there, the national anthem was played in the arena. They weren’t there. They didn’t even hear it playing. This is normal.
However, the bitch force that already didn’t like LSU, primarily for extremely racist reasons, decided to get upset about the Louisiana team not being on the court and standing up. They complained. Loudly. So much so that Louisiana’s sorry excuse for a governor, Jeff Landry, decided that the state needs a law that would cause any athlete in the state to lose their scholarship if they missed the playing of the national anthem. Is it just me or is that extremely stupid? Talk about a knee-jerk reaction!
Coach Mulkey said later, “Honestly, I don’t even know when the anthem was played. We kind of have a routine [for leaving the court at a certain time].”
Cody Worsham, the school’s associate athletic director, added, “Our basketball programs have not been on the court for the anthem for the last several seasons. Usually, the anthem is played 12 minutes before the game when the team is in the locker room doing final preparations.”
Furthermore, in the other women’s game that night, neither UConn nor USC were on the floor for the national anthem. BEING PRESENT FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM IS NOT A REQUIREMENT ANYWHERE! Teams warm up and then return to the locker room until it’s time to start the game. They need the time to concentrate and make sure they’re all on the same page.
CAN THE FUCKING OUTRAGE
This is not an issue of nationalistic pride. This is not a matter of protest, though they have every right to do so. This is a matter of doing what is best for the outcome of the game. It’s been going on for years and to get upset about it now is fucking delusional.
But while we’re on the topic, let’s remind ourselves why, if they wanted to, the players (or anyone else) might want to protest the US national anthem.
There are plenty of legitimate issues to be upset about around the world. Whether or not a basketball team is on the floor for the national anthem is not one of those issues.
Take your false outrage and shove it up your ass.
Before getting into the daily mush, it would be inappropriate to not mention that our thoughts are with everyone affected by the 7.4 magnitude earthquake early this morning in Taiwan. The latest numbers show nine dead and over 700 injured, US military bases in Okinawa could potentially be affected by tsunami warnings. This is the strongest earthquake in the region in 25 years.
Wind. After all of yesterday’s rains coming through and making the day miserable, we were hit with strong winds last night. I haven’t walked around the house yet to assess the damage, but it was strong enough to rip one of the secure points away from our front tarp on the carport. A loose corner on the back tarp was flapping so strongly that it sounded at times like distant gunshots. This made the Gang of Five extra snuggly but also meant that I couldn’t move
Sleep was fitful and confusing. I’d dream for a while then wake up totally confused. What day is it? Am I waking from an afternoon nap or is it night? Is this the weekend? Did I oversleep? Wait, where am I? When that happens one time during the night there’s no reason to be alarmed. When it keeps happening over and over, four or five times a night, it’s impossible not to be troubled. Is this a new side effect from the chemo or something else? Is this a symptom of something not yet diagnosed? With a body in the condition mine is, there’s no way to know without visiting a doctor and I’m not going to waste copay on that.
With the wind has come a deep drop in temperatures, so we’ll be staying in again today. I’ve already warned G he needs to dress warmly. I’d tell Tipper the same but she just shrugs and does whatever she wants. If she’s cold it’s her own fault.
Here’s a question for you: how much cologne should a young man wear? Earlier this year, the young men in G’s class were admonished about personal hygiene. Apparently, the coaches don’t like the fragrance of teen spirit. Now, he starts the day with so much cologne I can smell him from the other end of the hallway. I’ll admit that teenage boys have a natural funk unlike anything else. I’m unsure if those natural feromones are supposed to attract a potential mate or ward off potential attackers, but it is distinct. Please leave your thoughts in the comments below.
There is a lot of news crossing my desk this morning. My energy level and my diminishing level of cognition will play roles in determining what I address. The item at the top of my list at this moment is the whole Krispy Kreme/McDonald’s partnership. I’m just waiting for McD to slip a sausage patty, egg, and cheese in the middle of a donut. I’d definitely try one, then slip into a diabetic coma for a few minutes.
Another issue is that Grammarly, which I use regularly, is now flagging every adjective I use. They can kindly fuck off. The world needs adjectives, especially online since they are the primary method of describing depths of emotion, the severity of a situation, and just how much it pisses me off that they think adjectives are inappropriate. I’m not sure what adjectives did to deserve such hate, but it needs to stop.
Both kids are off to school. I need to refill my coffee. Stay tuned for more!
ISRAEL HAS COMMITTED A WAR CRIME
Early this morning, EDT, while those of us in the Midwest were sheltering from the storms, seven members of chef Jose Andres’ World Central Kitchen were murdered by an Israeli air strike. DESPITE HAVING COMMUNICATED APPROPRIATELY WITH ISRAELI AUTHORITIES, the caravan was leaving a warehouse where they had just delivered more than 100 tons of food via maritime routes. The workers killed include a Palestinian and citizens from Australia, Poland, United Kingdom, and a dual citizen of the U.S. and Canada.
The organization’s CEO, Erin Gore, put it this way: “This is not only an attack against WCK, this is an attack on humanitarian organizations showing up in the most dire of situations where food is being used as a weapon of war. This is unforgivable,”
Enough with US tolerance of Israel’s fucking war crimes. World Central Kitchen has found ways to peacefully deliver food all over the world, including war-torn Ukraine, without any issue. They are a highly effective and respected organization that takes to heart the need to address the tragedy of hunger and famine in hard-to-reach places around the world. And who the fuck ends up bombing them? Israel, whom the US refuses to recognize as a serial war criminal.
Israel issued a statement saying they would investigate the matter, but good money is on getting back a statement saying something to the effect that “This was a horrible tragedy as sometimes happens during war. Oops, we’re sorry, but we’re not going to stop.”
Please understand, I’m not antisemitic. I’m anti-Zionist. There’s a difference. I believe Jewish people, as well as everyone else, have the right to live wherever the fuck they want to live.
What is Zionism? According to the Anti-Defamation League, “Zionism is the movement for the self-determination and statehood for the Jewish people in their ancestral homeland, the land of Israel.” In short, skipping over several thousand years of history, it is a group dedicated to the formation and protection of the Jewish homeland as defined before an ancient Babylonian captivity.
Why is Zionism wrong? Because nationalism is wrong. Let me be very clear, for those in the back:
Everyone has the right to live peacefully wherever the fuck they want to live regardless of pretend borders, religion, gender, or sexual orientation.
If you disagree, please kindly step the fuck off the planet. Humanity would not exist today were it not for multiple, free-roaming migrations of our ancestors, all of them, looking for hospitable and reasonable places to live without fear of the danger posed by natural resources or greedy idiots. The freedom to exist and the freedom of movement is an inherent right that no country has grounds for limiting. Telling a people, “You cannot live here and we’ll kill you if you try,” is anti-human and in violation of international law. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO EXIST.
What no one has is a right to govern where that government is not wanted. “The consent of the governed” is an extremely powerful clause. No one is obligated to recognize the authority of a government that actively denies the individual right to exist.
Yet, here we are, not only telling Palestinians to get out of Gaza and then killing them when they try, but now we’re killing the people who are simply trying to make sure no one starves to death in the process. Please, someone, reset that courtroom in Nuremberg. We have some crimes that need to be addressed.
The support of these activities by the US government is critical as well. While Israel is doing its best to exterminate all of Gaza, US states such as Florida and Texas are putting limits on who can travel in/out of their states in search of medical care such as abortions. We’re just as bad, if not potentially worse, than Israel so no wonder we’re supportive of the crimes they’re committing.
Wait, don’t we inherently have the right to travel between states? Sort of, but not really. The right to travel is generally covered under the Privileges and Immunities Clause of the Fifth Amendment. The specific portions reads: “The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.” Since 1823, that has generally been taken to include freedom of movement. However, since then, throughout the 19th century, the Court continued to let the states have the authority to decide who could move back and forth across state lines. So, if a state decides it doesn’t want people traveling to a “safe” state for medical care, precedent would indicate that they have the right to limit that travel and impose penalties.
In case you’ve not been keeping up, Texas is willing to impose the death penalty.
All of these actions are anti-freedom, anti-human, and grossly immoral by any standard. We’ve put up with far too many of these crimes and we’re past the time when people like you and me need to object and flood both the Internet and the halls of Congress with the noise of our opposition.
Consider this my first volley. ENFORCE A CEASE-FIRE IN GAZA NOW! Let’s make humanity more important than anyone’s nationalism.
After waiting all fucking day, putting off things we might have gotten done, it finally started raining around 11:00 last night and it has yet to stop. I just took the dogs outside. The yard is a swamp. Up the road from us, a lake has formed. I feel especially sorry for G who has to walk the quarter-mile to his bus stop in a few minutes. Thunder still rolls across the night sky.
I’m not sure how much sleep any of us got last night. Kat was up for most of it. G was up at 12 and 3, finally giving up around 5. I was able to at least stay in bed, dozing in and out. All the meds weren’t enough to induce sleep through all the pain. In a battle of arthritis vs. chemo, arthritis is definitely winning. Let’s set that pain level firmly at 10 and hope that it doesn’t go any higher. Tomorrow, it turns cold again. I feel like the weather has a personal vendetta against me.
We’re still 10-15 days from having any money in the account, assuming Social Security actually comes through. I don’t have any amount of faith in the system. We’re out of bread, margarine, and milk. I’m cutting back on coffee because that’s getting low as well. It’s not that we’re out of food, but that the food requires the addition of certain staples to be prepared and we don’t have the staples. The dogs will need food by the end of the week as well. This level of need is hurting almost as much as the arthritis. Right now, 10-15 days might as well be forever.
I feel really bad sending G out in the storm. If I still had a car I could at least take him to the bus stop. But no, not only can I do little to help myself, I can’t help anyone else, either. We’re hoping that Tipper’s bus shows up on time today. Yesterday, all the buses from her school were late because, get ready for this, the bus company didn’t know that school was starting back after spring break. How is that even possible? I’m sure they were given the same schedule as the rest of us.
Remember when things like this didn’t annoy us? We could play out in the rain and have a good time! Getting soaking wet was part of the fun. Now, I sit here still shivering from having taken the dogs out 30 minutes ago. This whole aging thing is for the birds.
I can take more meds again in an hour. At least I’m still alive, right?
Dreaming is something I do a lot. I sleep too much for there to not be dreams. The question is always whether I’m going to remember them. Most of the time I don’t; they’re just not that interesting. In fact, when I do remember one, it’s usually because it’s really disturbing in one way or another. That’s not the fact this time. Today’s dreams were just … odd. And, as usual, they’re not finished. I often wake up before the dream is over, as I’m sure is the case for many other people. Today, however, two totally unaffiliated dreams are still stuck in my head. Given how infrequently that happens, I thought I’d share them. Let me know in the comments below if you want to suggest ways they might have ended.
The first dream involved my late father and I. Both of us were still younger. Poppa was maybe in his late 50s, still healthy, independent, and active. He was only starting to show modest signs of slowing down. I was in my mid-20s, more muscular than I’ve ever been in real life, more confident, and more engaging. Together, we had gone to some unnamed small town in the Pacific Northwest to help with a struggling little church far removed from other churches and pretty much forgotten.
We arrived in town late on a Friday afternoon, late spring. The weather was warm enough that we didn’t need jackets, but it was far from the summers we had in Oklahoma. We were hungry so we walked into the only place open: a bar and grill that was more bar than grill. There, while we were trying to fit our mouths around sandwiches too tall for any normal-sized human, we met the chairman of the deacon body. He was a big lumberjack of a man with a room-shaking laugh and a massive beard that caught the beer that missed his mouth. We talked, sort of, as we ate. Getting any questions answered was difficult, though, as he’d stop midway through a thought to tell a raucous story or two.
When we were finished eating, he insisted that we walk with him over to the church building to meet the other deacons. Two deacons arrived shortly after we did, neither seeming to be surprised by the bigger man’s drunkenness. Three others eventually arrived, but none of them were in the mood to do anything more than socialize and tell stories about each other. They were all blue-collar men who worked with their hands. Only the mechanic owned his own business. The town only needed one mechanic anyway and most of the cars were older. The conversation was very much what one might expect from a 1970s bar, except this was the backroom of a church building and only the chairman was still drinking with the extremely large mug he’d brought with him from the bar.
Somehow, as happens in dreams, night turned into morning and one of the deacons’ wives brought in a big plate of biscuits and gravy, which was quickly devoured. She then took Poppa and me on a tour of the town while the deacons went home to nap a bit. We were not surprised that she knew everyone we met as well as the gossip about them. She was very strong in her conservative opinions and what was right or wrong about the town and I could tell that she and I were probably not going to get along.
We ended the tour at a stone gazebo in the center of town, next to the cultural museum that no one ever visited or bothered to keep up-to-date. There, we came across a group of indigenous people, mostly young women in formal regalia, with an older man taking their picture as they smiled and leaned on the railing of the gazebo. “They’re from the reservation on the other side of town,” the deacon’s wife told us. “We really don’t have anything much to do with them.”
I turned to the man taking the picture and introduced myself. He was very cordial and explained that they were taking pictures in advance of a wedding that was supposed to take place that evening. He expressed some concern that there was rain moving in off the coast that could force the wedding into a tightly cramped structure that was only large enough to hold the wedding party. I talked to Poppa and we agreed that there didn’t seem to be any reason they couldn’t use the church building if it did indeed rain. The deacon’s wife was disturbed, sure that there was a committee of some kind that needed to approve of any “strange, outside group” using the structure.
As it turned out, the rain waited until the ceremony was over, so it turned into a non-issue, but it let Poppa and I know what we were up against.
Again, one day morphed into the next. I was out exploring on my own and came across a lake divided by elevated paths that met at an empty stone building in the middle of the lake. While there, I met several indigenous young adults, two of whom had been part of the wedding party. We talked about the small town, how there were no good employment choices but they couldn’t desert the shrinking tribe. Talking turned into flirting. Someone jumped into the water, and then we all were in the water. Sex happened.
And then, damnit, I woke up.
The second dream is a little more difficult to describe because it seemed to jump around with characters appearing and disappearing. The setting is more contemporary, but not strictly because apparently I was slightly more healthy than I actually am. I may have to shorten this story, though, because I can already feel my brain beginning to melt.
The premise for this dream lies in a long-standing push on Kat’s part for me to find an additional girlfriend. The big difference here was that she was looking as well. I think an online dating app was involved, though I’m not entirely sure. We both matched with a couple of young Asian women who were friendly and intelligent online, but more reserved and quiet when we were out in public.
We were all surprised when we showed up at the same restaurant for our date, so we decided to all sit together. This was a lower-end restaurant, not quite fast food. We placed our orders at the counter and a server would bring it to us. Both of our dates ordered a fried chicken sandwich and fries. Our orders were quickly delivered but the results were disappointing. No one had any fries. The sandwiches were on five-inch sub buns. The meat was a flat, pre-frozen patty with no condiments or veggies.
I thought this was an error that needed to be rectified. I started back to the counter with the receipts and came across our server. I showed her the receipts and asked if we could at least get the fries we had ordered. She took the receipts and said she’d check with the manager.
I returned to our table and both of our dates were looking at the lame sandwiches with disgust. This was not what any of us were expecting. Instead of getting our fries, though, the manager came over the intercom, telling everyone in the restaurant that we were trying to scam them for more food than we had ordered. With everyone in the restaurant staring at us, he started repeating the claim. Our dates were quick to whip out their phone and start recording. When the manager realized that we were all four recording his tirade, he started chasing us.
We ran from the restaurant and jumped in some little electric car that I’d never seen. We backed out of the parking lot only to discover that the car would only go in reverse. Put it in drive and it just sat there. With the restaurant manager still chasing after us, I put it in reverse and we drove backward along the shoulder of a divided four-lane road. I backed into another parking lot and our friend Nan came out of nowhere to tell us that there was a better restaurant just around the corner.
I turned the car around and re-backed out of the parking lot, still going backward but at least this time going the same direction as traffic. Somehow, we made it safely down the street and I backed into yet another parking lot. This time we all got out and Kat and our dates ran into a nearby building. I thought I knew which entrance they went into, but I was wrong. I never saw any of them again.
I went into the entrance I thought was the new restaurant, but instead it was a colorful, stimulating play area for young children. I was very confused. The interior door to the play area was locked. After a short while, someone on an upper level called my name. I looked up to find a young Asian man holding a clipboard. He guided me toward an odd type of unenclosed elevator that took me to the level he was on. He asked me a couple of questions, marked something on his clipboard, and disappeared into an office. I never saw him again.
Finding a place to sit down, I watched as people moved hurriedly in and out of the offices just on the other side of a half-wall partition. They seemed to be going back and forth between managers checking to see if their “client,” which included me, qualified for something or the other. The answer was always no. After a short while, another young man, wearing a light blue lab coat, came and told me I needed to go to an office down the street. He put me in an odd chair that was part of a revolving door. The revolving door sat me into a wheelchair and pushed me down the sidewalk.
And then I woke up.
None of this makes a damn bit of sense. That’s the nature of dreams. Neither is disturbing enough to even wonder if there’s any subconscious meaning behind either of them. They’re just stories to share along with a set of unrelated pictures.
I’m cured! I’m healthy! I’m rich!
April fool!
The weather threw us a curve last night, as well. All the fun stuff went right around us. There are still storms forecasted for later this morning, but it’s doubtful they’ll be too terribly strong. My biggest concern is the possibility of the kids getting wet when they get off the bus this afternoon. Other than that, the day should be reasonably quiet for the first of April.
As holidays go, yesterday had to be one of the most boring ever. The kids didn’t give a shit and stayed in their rooms most of the day either playing games or, in Tipper’s case, painting. While the afternoon cleared up and gave my aching bones a break, the only way I had to enjoy it was to join the dogs in lapping the house a few times. Am I really complaining? Not sincerely. As holidays go, Easter is toward the bottom of my list. I wouldn’t miss it if it went away. I would miss the chocolate bunnies, though.
What’s frustrating is that we needed milk by late yesterday afternoon and couldn’t get any. Almost all the major stores, including Target, were closed. The older I get, the more I resent this forced observation of a holiday that means nothing to me. I’ve been around long enough to know that no matter the holiday, including xmas, there are almost always enough people who would rather work than have to deal with family or religious nonsense. I can promise you that I was far from being the only person sitting around by themselves, and even among those who weren’t, many would just have soon been making money. Forcing people to observe a holiday that doesn’t affect them is wrong.
Consider that we’re smack in the middle of Ramadan. What if we were all forced to fast during the day? What if there were no restaurants open until after sundown? Worse yet, my dear heavily inked friends, what if there were pop-up shops outside your work so you could get those “sinful” tattoos removed from your body? That’s actually happening in India and other places around the world. If you wouldn’t want those celebrations forced on you, why the hell would you think it’s okay to force your celebrations on anyone else?
Now, if you want to celebrate, fine, go ahead! Businesses should allow you the space and means to do so without any penalty. I don’t have any objection to you celebrating anything you wish to celebrate. Some, such as dancing naked around a bonfire, I wish more people would celebrate. But there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to get the milk and butter we need because the stores are closed for a holiday I don’t observe.
Not that it matters. I’m just an old man shaking his cane at the clouds as they pass. Pay no attention. I’ll get over myself as soon as I’ve had enough coffee.
Be glad I have coffee.
Christianity is getting a lot of attention today (and all this past week) because of it being Holy Week. However, as they so often do, some pseudo-Xians just don’t seem to understand the whole concept of peace, love, and inclusion. They prove this by opening their mouths and saying some really inappropriate and ignorant things.
Take for instance, please, that time this week when the presumptive Republican presidential nominee said, “If you don’t like our religion [xianity], then we don’t want you in our country.” What this part-time Bible salesman is saying is that he’s more than willing to implement a religion litmus test for anyone wanting to come into the country. Now, where that gets interesting is trying to narrow down what he means by “our religion.” Obviously, he doesn’t like Muslims, Hindus, atheists, or Buddhists. However, he links religion to politics when he says that a Jewish person who votes Democratic (and most do), “hates their religion” and “everything about Israel.” So… are Jews getting in or not? Now, any reasonably-minded person knows that such a litmus test is a violation of the First Amendment. However, let’s just go crazy for a moment and assume he could get away with it. How long would it be before he tries to deport, round up, or terrorize anyone who doesn’t fit without his narrow (and farcical) religious expectations?
Then, there was all that hullabaloo today over the annual White House Easter Egg Roll. Somehow, pseudo-Xians just noticed this year that religious themes are not allowed on the decorated eggs used for the roll. Cue right-wing outrage because they’re an ignorant bunch of people who don’t seem to realize that the ban has existed since 1978. Take another look at that. 1978. Over 40 years ago. And they’re just now realizing it. And all this over a fictional rabbit that allegedly places eggs all over the yard. Apparently, these pseudo-Xians are also ignorant of the fact that Easter Eggs are a pagan tradition that predates xianity. Seriously, do these people ever pull their heads out of their asses and take a look at the world around them?
Taking the ugly lamb-shaped Easter cake is SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton who told his Dallas-based Lakepointe Church congregation that, on their wedding night (actually, he specifically emphasized “his” wedding night), the women should: “Stand where he tells you to stand, wear what he tells you to wear, and do what he tells you to do.” Incredulous, isn’t it? You would think, especially after all the abuse and marital cheating scandals the SBC has endured, that such misogyny would, at the very least, be kept on the down-low. Nope. Here it is, right out in the open. We even have it on video.
Dismantling this statement a bit, first, let’s realize that, by most accounts, fewer than 30% of people, male or female, are virgins on their wedding night. Most sane people realize that sexual experience is a good thing; find out what you like and what you don’t, take away the mythology of losing virginity, and hopefully avoid the pain and mess of your first sexual experience. If 70% of men are not virgins (and the real number is likely higher), then they have not necessarily been planning for their wedding night their entire lives.
Second, this is putting wayyyyyy too much pressure on the wedding night for it to be pleasurable. Weddings are a big deal and by the time the happy couple gets away from the reception and all the people and checked into the hotel for the night, they’re fucking exhausted! Why put all that pressure on the wedding night? It’s insane to create those kinds of expectations that are almost certainly going to lead to disappointment.
Third, and perhaps most important, if your spouse is telling you where to stand, what to wear, and what to do and this isn’t a sex game to which you’ve both agreed, then you’ve married a misogynist and need to get out of this marriage as soon as possible! Abuse, emotional and physical, is right around the corner. Nothing good comes from being in a relationship with a misogynistic person. Nothing. Get the fuck out while you can. PLEASE. A chocolate bunny would make a better partner.
If it seems like I’m picking on pseudo-Xians it’s only because they’re making so much noise as they show us how incredibly ignorant, thoughtless, and cruel they actually are. There’s no true spirit of love here. There’s no intention to bring peace. There’s no desire for inclusion. Everything they’re doing is fake and they’re loud enough with their actions to make sure we don’t miss them. As long as they keep doing and saying stupid things, I’ll keep calling them out for it.
Waking up to the sound of gunfire isn’t nearly the rarity that it should be. Most of the time, the shots are fairly distant, over a quarter of a mile away. Last night, they were a lot closer, no more than a couple of blocks to our East. A single shot. No follow-up. I thought about going out to check before calling the police, but those are the kinds of actions that can get you killed. I stayed in bed and called no one. By the time cops arrived, no one was going to be around. This was around 2:30 this morning.
The dogs, sensing that spring break is over, want to go out at 5:45 this morning. As we stepped out into the dark between rain showers, the familiar “berries and cherries” of police lights could be seen at the entrance to our subdivision. A few years ago the dogs would have been straining at the fence to see what had happened. The lights have become so common in the neighborhood that the dogs ignore them now. Only the sound of sirens irritates them.
Coming back inside to avoid the rain, I turned on the local news. SEVEN teenagers between the ages of 12-17 were shot downtown around 11:30 last night. While all the victims are in stable condition, no suspects have been named. Local police are considering the possibility that there was more than one gun involved. This is the third weekend in a row with mass shootings. I find it interesting how this coincides with major sporting events in town all three weekends, bringing out a higher number of people than IMPD seems capable of policing.
Is this merely a local problem? Of course not. The law enforcement circus is a national disgrace. Opening this morning’s Washington Post, I see a headline that disturbs me deeply: The FBI is visiting people because of their social media. Every day. The person in question this time was a Stillwater, Oklahoma resident, Rolla Abdeljawad, who had the foresight to record the encounter. The “FBI” agents refused to identify themselves. Refused to show her their badges. Told the Muslim woman, “Facebook gave us a couple screenshots of your accounts.” The FBI refused to comment. Ms. Abdeljawad has been vocally pro-Gaza in her recent posts. No one is investigating whether the three men were real FBI agents or anti-Muslim troublemakers.
Welcome to the circus. No one’s responsible for their actions, especially if they’re drunk. No one’s responsible for their children running around downtown at 11:30 at night (even if they are leaving a sporting event). No one’s responsible for the harassment of non-Christians. It’s all one big, wild, raucous, many-ringed demonstration of carelessness, from sea to shining sea. Flack vests not included.
Happy Easter & Trans Day of Visibility
Yesterday was not a good brain day. I try to have one additional post every day so that you don’t look over at the list of recent posts and see a string of Morning Updates. That wasn’t possible yesterday. My brain could not complete something as simple as sharing a YouTube video. There was no solid cognition. I’d read something and the content would immediately be gone. I’d watch a video and have no idea what I’d just watched. I baked chicken drumsticks for dinner and forgot to add any seasoning (we still ate them). I forgot to put my phone on the charger before going to bed. The dogs did remind me to take them outside, so that was done, but I can’t claim any other completed objective for the day.
In fact, yesterday was such a bad-brain day that I almost considered running for president. 🤣
Today isn’t starting off much better, just in a different way. It’s raining. The arthritis pain kicked in a little after 4:00 this morning. My overall pain level is sitting at an eight. There are still meds I can’t take until after I’ve eaten breakfast, but it still doesn’t bode well for the day. My typing is slow. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have to play for anyone’s Easter service, not that I’ve been asked any time in the past 20 years. My fingers object to every move, the pressing of each key. I can only imagine what it would feel like if I had to use Poppa’s old manual typewriter to create this post!
I still find it incredible that there are people so fucking stupid that they think the President had anything to do with setting Trans Day of Visibility on the same day as Easter. I’ll say it again: Trans Day of Visibility is static: March 31 every year. Easter moves around: the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox, because you need a little paganism in your religious holiday. No politics in any of it. Get off your fucking stupid hobby horse.
There are no Easter baskets in our house this year. The kids aren’t remotely interested. Kat did get them both a chocolate bunny, which they’ve already devoured, but it wasn’t out of any religious commemoration; the bunnies were on sale. Yes, they do make sugar-free Easter chocolate, but you have to order it directly from Russel Stover two weeks in advance and there’s no discount. Besides, Russel Stover’s sugar-free chocolate gives me the runs.
We also won’t be having any big Easter dinner. I’m not sure we ever have, though I can’t remember any past Easters with any level of detail. Kat’s with Brandon’s family and even if we had the money the kids aren’t interested in dining out. So, leftovers it is.
My hands want nothing more than to stay balled up into fists. We’ll see if I post anything else later. Thanks for reading.
Having the kids on spring break for the past two weeks has given me a chance to sleep late, something I have very much enjoyed. That ends on Monday, of course, and I’m not looking forward to being up at 6:00 AM again. The extra sleep has made a significant difference in how I feel throughout the morning. It is especially appreciated on days like today when thunderstorms came through around 6:00 and rattled windows and the roof of the carport. My body needed to be lying down through that mess.
Two hours later, the skies are blue, I have coffee, and the twins (cats) are back to sleep after a rambunctious round of the zoomies. The kids are in G’s room trying to get Tipper signed in to the VR headset. This morning could get more interesting than normal.
I’m not expecting much else today. I’ll eat breakfast, take my meds, check up on the science news from the week, and take the weather changes as they come. I don’t think we’ll have more rain until early in the morning, but I’m not moving far from my bed just in case.
Boring, aren’t I?
I will say that the proof of who the GOP is can be found in the disgusting antics of their trolls. The comments have gotten so severe and so hurtful that Lizzo said last night that she’s ready to quit. She didn’t elaborate as to whether that means she’s quitting social media (maybe not a bad idea) or performing, or music altogether, which would be incredibly sad. She’s always had to endure mean comments about her appearance, but the nastiness has become increasingly severe. Are these bots that are insulting the singer? Possibly. And if they are, they’re probably from foreign sources. Still, real people are repeating the ugliness and sharing it across various networks. Do we really want people like that in charge of anything?
This is life for today. It’s been a lot worse. Boring isn’t all that bad, is it?
Many Xian people went to great lengths today, and throughout the week, to attend worship services. Some in South Africa even died trying to get there. (Their bus ran off the side of the road. Only a child survived.) Each year during Holy Week, the truly committed go to great lengths to observe all that happened in the week leading up to Easter. Whether one believes or not, we have to admire their commitment.
Then, there are those who pretend to be xian simply for the political optics. After all, no one gets elected to any office in the South without claiming membership in one church or another. The only commitment here is to get rich off the power that comes with holding public office. They’ll occasionally go through the motions by attending a worship service somewhere, but for the most part, they’re only in it for the votes that accompany the religiosity of it all.
For example, both the Republican National Committee and the Democratic National Committee released new music this week. When did the RNC and DNC suddenly become music-oriented? They’re not. Both records are absolutely horrible, do not need to exist, and are an insult to anyone who actually writes decent music. There’s nothing good about these events and we all need to hope that it never, ever happens again.
Yet, this type of pettiness is exactly where these pseudo-xians’ minds are this week. It’s almost as if they’re asking “Jesus who?” to all the rites the committed are going to. If only the records were the worst offense this week.
Meanwhile, down in Texas, a group of hardcore Republicans is looking for excuses to kill women, including those under 18. Hood County has a population of 66,000 bodies, but apparently not that many brains. During a meeting of elected offices that included Constable Scott London, County GOP chair Steve Biggers, and Hood County GOP chair candidate Greg Harrell, the discussion swirled around executing women of any age who get IVF or seek an abortion.
Paul Brown, director of Abolish Abortion Texas, told the group, “Other forms of abortion… would include IVF, when a fertilized egg is created and is often times destroyed. Those that do {IVF{ are terminating or destroying a human life. Their lives don’t matter any more than the babies they are killing.”
MeidasTouch Network has the video secretly created by Adrienne Quinn Martin, Chair of the Hood County Democrats if you question the content’s veracity. If you have a strong enough stomach, I strongly encourage watching the whole thing. Don’t just take my word for it. These idiots, every one of which identifies as a xian, seriously talk about executing young girls who have an abortion after the rape and claim that carrying the rapist’s baby to term will make the raped girl happier.
WHAT THE LIVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? Easy, they’re xians who fetishize Old Testament law. They’re inhuman monsters who have weaseled their way into office to influence laws so that we revert back to the same existence as a cultish group of illiterate nomads around 5,600 BC. Oh, if only their god would strike them dead by lightning.
Oh, wait, that god doesn’t exist.
Meanwhile, all over the country, conservatives have their panties all in a wad over the fact that this year Easter and Trans Day of Visibility fall on the same day, March 29. Now, before anyone goes thinking that this is intentional on anyone’s part, know that TDOV happens on the same day every year, March 29, and does every year. It doesn’t move. At the same time, there’s a whole formula applied to when exactly Easter is, and over the past 2,000 years xians who are unreasonably obsessed with the date have argued about it. The date is generally set by the first Sunday after the full moon on or after the Spring Equinox. If the full moon falls on a Sunday, then the following Sunday is Easter. None of this like likely to be accurate from a historical perspective, but apparently someone, somewhere, thinks it has some meaning. The net result, though, is that it’s never on the same Sunday any two years in a row.
But oooooohhhh, if there’s a non-xian conflict with the xian holiday, then surely something’s wrong, at least in the eyes of the pseudo-xians who enjoy making noise over such things. There must be a conspiracy of some kind. Maybe trans people are organizing to offend xians. Or, in the view of one nut job, it’s a demonic spell of trans-gnosticism. In his opinion, the “culture war” (huh?) is simply a front for a deeper spiritual war.
Dude, you don’t have a war if only one side is fighting. The trans community knows a nut job when they see one (better than anyone) and just roll their eyes at the stupidity on display.
Nonetheless, Fox News helped spread the lies (per usual formatting) and so the alarm has spread among the pearl-clutching people fearing that some version of the devil is going to come marching through their small town without warning and ruin their egg hunt.
By the way, Easter, and egg hunts, and the bunny rabbit? All pagan traditions that have nothing to do with being xian. Zero. Zilch. It has nothing to do with chocolate, either, but all things considered, I’d rather have the chocolate stuffed down my throat than the religion.
I’m sure there are plenty of other insidious things xians have perpetrated this week, I just don’t have the energy to look them all up. A great deal of them have the fingerprints of the 45th president attached to them and I am not of the mind to give him any more fuel than he already has.
Seriously, someone call Thor. We need those lightning strikes.
Do we have to crucify someone to make Friday good? Asking for a friend.
Judging by the way alleged Christians are behaving this year, I don’t think the whole sacrificial thing worked like it was supposed to.
There’s not anything significant to write about yesterday; it was what it was, nothing out of the ordinary. That’s a good thing, though, because that means nothing horrible happened, either. No one in our family was shot. No one was in an accident. No one accidentally let the dogs out. Given the way things are going around the rest of the world, that has to count as a win.
If you think combatants in the Israel/Gaza war are going to take a break this weekend, you’re not paying attention. Do you think anyone in the Russia/Ukraine war is going to go to Good Friday services? (You do realize this is NOT Orthodox Easter, right?) The violence still continues because when it comes right down to it, no one’s religion is enough to keep bad and stupid things from happening. Talk about love all you want, it’s not atheists who are going to war. You don’t see lines of bagpipers leading a Celtic army into battle. Transcendentalists are not leaving their meditative positions to topple a government. I even checked and made sure that Zoroastrians weren’t arming themselves to take on the world.
Belief systems are inherently, and necessarily judged by what they do to help the world. On that scale, the Abrahamic religions (Christianity, Islam, and Judaism) continue to fall at the bottom of the list. They’re the ones perpetuating hate in the name of their holy book. You find them at the core of every major military conflict. You find them at the heart of crimes against women. You find them leading the charge against immigrants (especially in the state of Georgia). You catch them perpetuating outright lies about elections and political contenders.
How does any part of Good Friday help the world? It doesn’t, because a couple of hours at church doesn’t override all the years of hate and murder that are perpetuated in the name of the one crucified. Nowhere does your holy book tell you to bomb anyone. Nowhere do they tell you to support political causes and protest in their name. No scripture tells you to mistreat people looking for a peaceful home.
Suppose you are going to claim that religiously and politically motivated murder of an innocent person somehow brings grace and love to the world. In that case, you have to take a stand against the people fueling hate, division, partisanship, and corruption, not pay their fines for fraud. If the priests and ministers standing before you today are not accepting of LGBTQIA+ people, then they’ve totally missed the message. Should a worship leader proclaim that any other group of people should “return to where they came from,” they are definitely following someone other than the one whose death is being remembered.
What makes a Friday good? Spending time with a friend. Helping someone in need. Feeding the poor. Housing the homeless. Protecting the weak. Standing up for everyone’s rights. Loving someone different than yourself.
And a big plate of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and greens. That’s a GOOD Friday.
From 2010, never published.
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you’re always afraid
Step out of line, the men come and take you away
The words from Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth,” (1968) won’t leave my head. They arrived for unknown reasons late yesterday afternoon. Is paranoia a side effect of one of the medicines? I want to think that it is, but at 4:00 this morning, I was up checking because wondering about it was driving me nuts. It doesn’t show up in any of the major meds that I take every day. We’ve been on everything for over a year. I would expect that we’ve seen all the side effects we’re going to see. Yet, I can’t help wondering what’s going on in my head.
Being broke isn’t helping any. My checking account is overdrawn and I need $100 to bring it back or it gets closed. I need the account to be active because the social security deposit goes there. If the account is closed, I don’t get the funds and the situation gets worse. But I can’t ask for help, either. That’s against the rules. If someone just gives me money, that’s okay, but I can’t ask for help. I feel caught in a trap from which I can’t be released.
I hate asking Kat for anything. She’s so good at masking her real feelings I never know what she’s thinking. I fear that at some point soon she’s going to have me committed and I’ll end up in a hospital room or something strapped to a bed, unable to leave. Ever.
Perhaps this fear will go away if I talk about it. Maybe there will be some type of reassurance in today’s mail.
No, I’ve not had any weed.
Trust is something I am missing. I need to know I can trust my care team, my family, my friends. I need to be able to trust that things are getting where they’re supposed to be, and I’m not sure of anything at this point. What have I turned in? What’s missing?
I’m scared.
Nothing is more blasphemous than the former grifter-in-chief hawking “customized” Bibles during Holy Week. The level of backlash the entire party should receive for indulging in this nonsense would be never-ending if there were, in fact, genuine Christians at the head of any major denomination. There once was a time, not terribly long ago, when this would have been enough to end his campaign. But then, how many times have we said that same thing about other shenanigans and idiocies this over-hyped fool has perpetrated?
One of the aspects of this mess is the narcissist stating that he wants to “Make America Pray Again.” Say what? Is it just me or does that sound like a threat? Stop and think about it. When are people most likely to pray? When they’re afraid. When do even non-believing people start to pray? When their lives are in danger. When are we most likely to be afraid for our lives? If this idiot gets re-elected. He’s already been talking about retribution and he’s made it quite clear that he plans on taking an authoritarian, even dictatorial stance if he should get back into office. There is nothing about this move that is comforting or Christian. In fact, this is an insult to everything that is genuinely American.
This comes at a time when more people are leaving the church than joining it. The number of atheists has doubled. The number of agnostics has more than doubled. Of those leaving, 67% say they are doing so because they no longer agree with that religion’s teaching. Okay, so find a different religion, right? Nope, only 9% are looking for any kind of substitute. People are increasingly fed up with the nonsense that religions are spouting, especially aggressive anti-LGBTQIA+ rhetoric. A smart campaign manager would look at that trend and say, “Hey, we need to step away from the religious bullshit.”
Such a level of grift reminds me of the hundreds of thousands of people who gave money to the late televangelist Jim Bakker. There was the Christian theme park. There were the “End Times” food buckets. There were prayer clothes and “holy oil” and all manner of nonsense for which people would pay believing that it would somehow make them better Christians. The evidence, however, points to the fact that such devotion only leads to increased levels of hate, the church doing more harm than good, and innocent people victimized.
Furthermore, if one is going to believe the Bible at all, one has to be concerned that such blasphemy is inviting God’s wrath on anyone who participates in the nonsense. Remember the Golden Calf? 3,000 died and the rest were struck with a plague. [Exodus 32:1-35] Of course, there’s been no such wrath for 6,000 years, so either there’s no God to get angry or no teeth to his threats. But if you’re going to believe, then perhaps it would be a good time to repent of such idolatry.
None of this has any place in politics. Politics should be about who would be the best leader, not the best grifter, not the best preacher, not the biggest felon. Smart, intelligent people are onto the scam and want nothing to do with it. Those who are shelling out $80 for their package are just stupid. There’s no other way to look at it.
Have Sex, Avoid Alzheimer’s? Well, Maybe
My paternal Grandfather died of Alzheimer’s disease before it had that name. He was 82 and the last five years of his life were among the most horrible I’ve witnessed. Last year, my Uncle Joe also died of complications from Alzheimer’s. He was 89 and had been much healthier than Granddaddy, but the last few years of his life weren’t any walk in the park, either. Poppa was 72 when cancer took him, so we don’t know if there were signs of Alzheimer’s in his future or not; there were other medical priorities. Still, it seems obvious that Alzheimer’s runs in the family. Therefore, it makes sense to take reasonable precautions against it.
A Washington Post article from February of this year came across my feed this week with an interesting premise: Viagra may reduce the frequency of Alzheimer’s disease in men over the age of 50. Researchers at University College London studied 270,000 men over the age of 40 between 2000 and 2017. All had been diagnosed with erectile dysfunction. During the study, 1,119 of the men were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. A pattern was noticed: The men who were prescribed Viagra or a similar drug had an 18 percent lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease, compared with men who weren’t given the medication.
But wait, there’s more: “The researchers also found an even larger difference in men who appeared to use Viagra more often. Among the highest users, based on total prescriptions, the risk of being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s was 44 percent lower.”
So, to be perfectly clear, the study appears to indicate that, if you have erectile dysfunction and take Viagra, and have sex regularly, you may reduce the chance of getting Alzheimer’s by as much as 44 percent.
Maybe. The study shows an association between Alzheimer’s and Viagra use; it does not show cause and effect. Men who have erectile dysfunction and are prescribed Viagra are told that a) if you take the pill, you need to have sex, and b) don’t take more than one pill a day. To have sex with the level of frequency that might result in a significantly lower risk factor for Alzheimer’s requires a pretty decent amount of physical activity. Physical activity has a higher association with lowering the risks for Alzheimer’s. Therefore, it may be that running around the block each morning helps just as much as having sex, though, I would argue, that one is definitely more fun than the other.
How is this possible? Not surprisingly, this was never the anticipated outcome. Sildenafil, the generic name for Viagra, was developed by Pfizer as a heart medication. During clinical trials for the drug, some men reported that taking the pill resulted in getting an erection. There was no way in hell that Pfizer was going to pass up that marketing opportunity.
For both heart and ED issues, Sildenafil works by increasing blood flow throughout the body. It is also used to treat pulmonary arterial hypertension in both men and women. We’ve known for a long time that there’s a link between erectile dysfunction and coronary artery disease. We also know for certain that there is a link between increased blood flow and certain kinds of dementia, including Alzheimer’s. This study shows a significant association as to warrant additional, focused study as to whether there is a direct cause and effect of the medication.
However, the study also raises a lot of questions. The one bugging me most relates to men as they age. For a 40- or even 50-year-old man to have sex on a regular basis doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch. Men of that age are more likely to be in a relationship (for the third or fourth time) and it makes sense that they would be sexually active.
Once we get over 60, though, the entire environment begins to break down. Other diseases, like cancer, interfere with one’s ability to be active. Partners die and finding new ones becomes increasingly difficult. Body parts, such as knees and hips, begin to give out, and replacing them seldom results in a full range of motion.
There are also questions on the sex side of the equation. Is jerking off enough, or do you need to involve your body in the act fully? Does it matter who’s on top or how many positions are used? Who wakes up for the 3:00 AM feeding of one of those little swimmers gets through?
If a direct correlation between Viagra and treating Alzheimer’s disease can be established, can a sex worker then be prescribed as a medical necessity? Would Medicare/Medicaid pay for it?
I agree that a great deal of study needs to happen, and I would hope that it began a couple of weeks ago. In the meantime, I would like to volunteer myself for additional personalized study. Who wants to help?
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