Saturday, January 18, 2025

Saturday, January 18, 2025

January 18, 2025

Prepping For Chaos

Overnight rain greatly diminished the amount of snow coverage that has lingered over the past two weeks, but more snow is falling now (7:30 AM EST), and anything still liquid will start freezing soon as temperatures drop quickly. Of course, the kids and I are home for the day so there’s no worry there. Kat’s books are full, though, which could make her trip to Fishers a little treacherous this evening.

I feel as though I need to continuously remind people that driving on ice is not the same as driving on snow, even if you have snow tires. In fact, those studded snow tires make driving on ice all the more difficult. To drive on ice, one needs chains, and chains, by their nature, require driving slowly. Even with chains, however, sliding can occur, and stopping is difficult. One is far safer staying put someplace warm if at all possible.

Cold weather is especially challenging for unhoused people. Finding someplace safe and warm can be difficult. So, I was initially encouraged when local NBC affiliate WTHR posted a list of warming centers for Central Indiana. Then, I took a look at the list. Almost all of them are closed on Sunday and many are closed Monday as well, when temps are below 0F! Is a warming center still a warming center if it’s closed? In my mind, this is an excellent opportunity for houses of worship to open and welcome strangers from the cold. After all, that’s what their deities have instructed them to do. If any are doing that, though, they’re keeping that status secret. There are no worship facilities on the list of warming centers.

The situation for unhoused people is made increasingly difficult as many lack transportation as well. If we get as much as a quarter of an inch of ice on the roads, you don’t want to be on a city bus, either. This makes the need for frequent warming centers all the more critical. The community is better served by having many places helping a few people rather than fewer more disparate places trying to cram in as many as possible.

I don’t understand why more places aren’t opening their doors. This ‘not my problem’ attitude is contrary to how I was raised. Ice was an annual issue in Eastern Oklahoma. Tree limbs became brittle as ice accumulated on them, causing them to fall onto power lines. Power lines often snapped on their own if ice accumulated more than half an inch. The instant power started going out anywhere, my father was on the phone checking on people.

Homelessness wasn’t much of an issue in our small towns, but the number of elderly in houses with little or no insulation was a constant concern. Poppa saw it as part of his job as a pastor to proactively find those without power and get them somewhere safe. Usually, a nearby neighbor was happy to take someone in. If the storm was severe enough to make safe places scarce, Mother would start pulling out the dozens of blankets we kept on hand and make pallets across the floors. It was unconscionable to even consider knowingly leaving someone in the cold.

Now, once one starts mentioning taking care of people, politicians start talking about budgets and how cities don’t have the money to help. Excuse me, how much does it cost to simply unlock the damn doors? The Colts aren’t playing, so why isn’t Lucas Oil Stadium available? How much of the convention center is being used? People who are on the verge of freezing to death aren’t going to complain about the availability of a blanket on the floor of the city/county building or a school gym. There is not a city anywhere in the United States that does not have overwhelming options for keeping people warm. That anyone is at risk of freezing to death is inexcusable.

Compassion is not a weakness. Compassion is a muscle that needs frequent exercise for people to see its strength. There is strength in caring about people you don’t know. Helping those who struggle without expecting anything in return is a major flex. We have allowed lazy fools to control the narrative of being neighborly, helping other people, and caring about those at risk. There are no strong communities, there are no thriving cities where compassion is not at the core of their being.

Capitalism is an enemy here. If one is looking to find profit in helping people, that one is not compassionate but rather greedy. One of the issues plaguing LA in the wake of unfathomable destruction is that too many property owners have raised prices so severely that only the rich can afford safety. There is zero compassion when one attaches a price tag to keeping people alive and well. If we cannot set profit aside to help people in need, we are undeserving of any profit at all.

Chaos is coming. We know this because we’ve been through it before. This time, it comes at us with the forceful support of dozens of billionaires who mistakenly think they have the right to tell any of us what to do. They’re screaming, “We have a mandate!” when all they actually have is a gilded microphone. There is no mandate that does not involve compassion and without compassion, there is no true power to govern.

We can say ‘No.’ We must say ‘No.’ We have a moral obligation as humans to say ‘No’ to all the chaos, all the inhumanity, all the profiteering, all the greed, and all the corruption of the incoming administration. Remember, at all times, that there is no government without the consent of the governed. You are not required to consent. You have every right to dissent and the strongest dissent comes through action, not posting memes on social media.

Dissent. Help someone in need. It really is that easy.

Personal

Friday, January 17, 2025

January 17, 2025

Brace For Impact.

Despite over two years of constant chemotherapy treatment, I feel more like a cancer patient this morning than I have in several months. Perhaps it is the cold weather that has my chest feeling tight, the draw of each breath a careful ‘in through the nose, out through the mouth’ thought. Maybe it’s the multiple nights of restless sleep. I suppose it could be an excess amount of caffeine in my system (not bloody likely). Knowledge that this could be our last weekend of freedom is also a concern. From any perspective, this morning presents a rare struggle to complete a simple sentence. I type a few words, stop to take deliberate breaths, and then take another drink of coffee.

Cancer numbers are up, which surprises no one that I know. Anecdotally, I could have told you that the many forms of cancer are skewing toward younger females just by surveying the women who befriend me on social media. Cancer isn’t waiting until people hit the age of 50 or older before it strikes. Black and Native Americans are dying at rates two to three times higher than white patients even as more cancers become treatable. We look for someplace to lay the blame. Our diets? Yes. Our lifestyles? Yes. Genetics? Yes. Just plain old bad luck? Absolutely.

Researchers are quick to say that we have a lot of control in mitigating the risks of getting cancer, but once it latches onto us, what then? Take a look at all the medicine bottles lined up on my desk. The biggest bottle, of course, is the chemo that I take each morning right after breakfast. There are two medications to address my sugar levels. But then, there are also meds to protect my kidney because the diabetes meds mistreat it a bit. There are also meds to keep nausea at bay. Lipitor keeps my cholesterol in check. Other meds attempt to control my mood and anxiety, though I’m not sure how well they’re working. All in all, it takes fifteen minutes every morning to get all my meds down, and that’s after I’ve gone on a scavenger hunt to see where the cats hid the bottles.

I’ll admit to being a little jealous of those who go through six to eight rounds of chemo and then get to ring a bell. I still have two months to go, and after that, there’s a chance that my situation could get worse. After all, two years is a long time for one’s body to adjust to the poison it’s being fed. There are days, like today, and yesterday, and pretty much all this week, when it feels as if this suffering is never going to end. I keep asking Kat to shoot me. She continually refuses to do so.

In through the nose, out through the mouth. We can do this, right? RIGHT?

Making matters worse, hell quite literally freezes over on Monday. The current forecasts show Monday morning’s low to be an icy -4F. Tuesday could be as low as -7. Fortunately, the kids don’t have school on Monday. The collision of complete ideological opposites on the 20th is something I don’t think has gotten enough attention.

On one hand, we got this email from the school yesterday:

Dear Parents and Students,

This is a reminder that there will be no school on Monday, January 20, 2025, in observance of the Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday.

We encourage everyone to take this time to reflect on the values of equality, justice, and service that Dr. King dedicated his life to promoting.

At the same time, though, we’re re-inaugurating what the Associated Press refers to as ‘American Carnage.‘ While checks and balances put a practical limit on what Felonius Punk can do on Day 1, there is no question that the nation is bracing for impact as the oligarchs take a hammer and chisel to our country. Yes, the use of those words is intentional.

Somehow, we’re supposed to juxtapose those opposites even as our brains and bodies are freezing. I’m pretty sure Dr. King and associates would be up in arms to see what is happening, but there are no big marches planned this year. Lawsuits are the weapon of choice this time around. They’ll take longer, cost more money, and will have questionable outcomes, but then, so did the marches of four years ago. Personally, I’m kind of with Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore in the movie ‘Apocalypse Now,’ when he said, “There’s nothing like the smell of napalm in the morning.” Especially if it’s DC that’s burning.

Oh, I’ve added to my social media spread. You can now find me on BlueSky Social at @ciletbetter.bsky.social. I’m not expecting it to take the place of anything else, but, in the words of ‘The Little Mermaid,’ “I want to be where the people are.”

I think I’m done for this morning. Pinball (cat #9) wants to snuggle. He’s not giving me a choice.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Current Issues / Health / Morning Update / News & Comment / Personal / Politics / Social Commentary

Thursday, January 16, 2025

January 16, 2025

The Holding Of Horses.

Pain. The last knuckle on the pinky fingers of my left hand decided it wanted not to cooperate last night. That’s all it took to make my night miserable. None of the larger joints seemed to have any problems for a change, but that one itty bitty knuckle was enough to make rest impossible for most of the night. This proves yet once again that little things can make a big difference.

There’s an interesting article in today’s New York Times reviewing the new book by Gay Talese, “A Town Without Time,” a new collection of his New York writings. One of the “little” things he notices, particularly as people get older, is how people dress. He and his wife, the retired publisher Nan Talese, live next door to a 16-story medical building. He sees cars pull up and people get out to see a doctor, and they’re dressed “dreadfully, in blue jeans, sneakers, windbreakers,” he said. If they’d only dress better, they’d feel better, he’s convinced. “Look in the mirror, you’d feel better,” he said. “You wouldn’t have to spend so much time in doctors’ offices.”

I’m sitting here in a long-sleeve compression shirt, old jeans, and baggy socks. I haven’t worn a suit in so long I’m not sure any of them still fit; they’d likely hang on me like an old dish rag. These days, I’m more likely to settle for less style and greater ease. Just the act of getting ready to take the dogs out in the cold each morning is exhausting. When I come back inside and un-layer myself, I have to sit down and catch my breath before doing anything else. Do I look like a mess? Yes. Do I feel like a mess? Yes. Would wearing a suit change that? Not one bit.

Headlines started hitting my phone late last night heralding a truce between Gaza and Israel. After 17 months of stupidly going back and forth at each other, this is good news, right? I wouldn’t start those celebrations just yet. Netanyahu says ‘last minute crisis’ with Hamas holding up approval of Gaza truce and hostage deal. Even if the Israeli Cabinet approves the deal, it wouldn’t take effect until Sunday. In between now and then, Israel is going to fire all the rockets they can. Israeli strikes in Gaza killed at least 70 people after the peace accord was announced! Remember, it was Netanyahu who torpedoed the Camp David Accords that Jimmy Carter brokered between Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat, preventing them from being approved. Netanyahu is a war criminal who can’t be trusted. The details matter.

The FDA finally got around to banning Red Dye 3 from food yesterday. The cancer-causing dye has been illegal in cosmetics for decades, but for some stupid reason, it’s still a mainstay in a number of overly processed foods and medicines. Store-branded gummy vitamins are especially likely to be full of the dangerous stuff, along with cake icing and candy corn. Seems like a little thing, perhaps, but have you noticed the increase in cancers among younger people? Little things. Pay attention.

Local Indianapolis news stations went nuts last night as the state’s governor signed an executive order eliminating the DEI office and related initiatives at the state level. Who does that most affect? Primarily anyone looking for a state job. It means no one’s going to be making sure that the handicapped person isn’t overlooked because hiring them might mean having to make costly accommodations. At the same time, the governor also signed orders for state agencies to reconsider whether state employees actually need a college degree and to eliminate ‘burdensome’ requirements from various state licenses. Why? Because the state’s workforce is too undereducated to meet the current requirements. Little things.

Before heading out the door this morning, G took a look at the seven-day forecast. In addition to a chance for more snow on Sunday, morning temps are all well below zero for at least the first three days of next week. That means we’ll want to make sure everyone’s blankets are clean and dry. Sure, it sounds like a small thing, but it can make a big difference when one is fighting off frostbite.

I wonder what Gay Talese thinks about snow boots.

You can wonder if I really give a shit what Gay Talese thinks.

Health / Long Read / Morning Update / Mythology / News & Comment / Personal / Politics / science / Social Commentary

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

January 15, 2025

You Can Die If You Want To.

Zero. As I type this morning, that’s how many degrees of warmth we have in Indianapolis. Zero. Granted, the US still uses the Fahrenheit scale so we’re not talking about absolute zero, in which case I would have kept the kids home from school and the dogs would just have to hold everything until later this morning. As it is, I made sure children were well-layered, capped, and gloved before they walked out the door with what I hope is sufficient warning about the amount of ice everywhere.

G has a visit to the state house scheduled for today, something to do with entrepreneurship and economics. I’m hoping his trip is interesting and educational. If not, be sure that his review will be more scathing than anything I might write. The child has no filter and is not shy about expressing his viewpoint. The same goes for a couple of his school friends. I’m not sure the airheads in the state legislature are ready for what’s about to hit them this morning.

Like many states, Indiana does most of its law-making during the first two months of each year. There simply isn’t enough going on to justify longer terms in most states, and governors always have the ability to call a special session if an emergency pops up. So far, there are 503 bills introduced to the state senate and 519 bills in the state house. If that sounds like a lot, don’t worry too much. In previous years, fewer than fifty bills actually make it to the governor’s desk for signing. Some are combined, but most are dropped because they are, in a word, stupid.

For example, Senate Bill 364 and House Bill 1335 both lack any understanding of real-world science. The bill “Prohibits a person who has the intent of affecting the intensity of sunlight, temperature, or weather from discharging a chemical or apparatus into the atmosphere, except in certain circumstances.” That’s right, folks, they’re outlawing chemtrails and weather manipulation machines because Indiana science education has failed that badly.

Senate Bill 35 requires that “each school corporation, charter school, and state accredited nonpublic elementary school to include print handwriting, cursive handwriting, and spelling in its curriculum.” Because, you know, this generation does so much handwriting.

Here’s a fun one. Senate Bill 11 proposes that “a social media operator [to] restrict a minor user’s access to social media without first obtaining verifiable parental consent for the minor user. Defines a “minor user” as an individual who is less than 16 years of age. Establishes a civil cause of action to allow a parent or legal guardian of a minor user who accesses social media without verifiable parental consent to bring a suit against the social media operator. Allows any person to bring an action for injunctive relief against a social media operator if the social media operator fails to implement a verifiable parental consent method. Allows the attorney general to: (1) bring an action against a social media operator that fails to implement a verifiable parental consent method; and (2) issue a civil investigative demand if the attorney general has reasonable cause to believe that any person is engaged in a violation. Creates a civil cause of action if a minor user is subject to social media bullying.” I get that online bullying is a problem, but this isn’t the answer.

House Bill 1170 eliminates gun-free safe zones. Heaven forbid there be anywhere that Second Amendment nut jobs can’t get to you.

House Bill 1008 wants to adjust the Indiana/Illinois state line. Damn good thing we don’t border Greenland.

Senate Bill 286 makes it illegal to wear a mask at a public assembly. Let’s all just get sick and die.

House Bill 1231 requires the display of the Ten Commandments in all schools. Because iron-age mythology makes more sense than science education.

There’s plenty more to read through if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your day. The greater majority of bills are housekeeping details that keep everything funded and running. Most bills won’t see the light of day, especially if they encounter any serious pushback.

One bill I was surprised to see but wholly support is House Bill 1011 which would allow for end-of-life options. Specifically, “Allows individuals with a terminal illness who meet certain requirements to make a request to an attending provider for medication that the individual may self-administer to bring about death. Specifies requirements a provider must meet in order to prescribe the medication to a patient. Prohibits an insurer from denying payment of benefits under a life insurance policy based upon a suicide clause in the life insurance policy if the death of the insured individual is the result of medical aid in dying.” Given the state’s stance on abortion, I don’t expect this bill to make it out of committee, if it even gets that far.

Right-to-die legislation makes far too much sense for an aging population where up to 4 in 10 people could develop dementia after 55. Anyone who has witnessed a loved one slowly, painfully, withering away, not knowing where or who they are, understands the level of mercy this type of legislation shows. Republicans don’t understand compassion or mercy, though, and they’re sorely lacking in common sense, so don’t expect this one to hit the governor’s desk.

I can’t overemphasize that most of the bills proposed in this state legislature or anywhere else will ever actually come up for a vote in any form. State legislators like to act all big and grandiose as they introduce their insipid little bills, but rarely does anyone actually give a shit. For that matter, rarely does anyone even know who they are. I’ve often wondered if someone could walk into the chamber wearing a suit with a flag lapel pin and just start talking. Would anyone know the fucking difference?

States are likely to become the front line of the Felonious Punk’s agenda because it will be easier to pass ridiculous legislation in state houses than it is at the federal level. State legislators tend to be an empty-headed sanctimonious lot that relishes any attempt to garner favor at a federal level. Watching them genuflect to a convicted felon and rapist makes me want to puke.

Meanwhile, LA is still on fire and celebrities don’t want you to forget about them. There are photo ops everywhere.

What matters most is that we all are warm and safe and that there’s more coffee in the pot.

Current Issues / Morning Update / Mythology / News & Comment / Personal / science / Social Commentary

Tuesday, January 14, 2025

January 14, 2025

The World Is Fine Except For People.

Solaris isn’t talking to me this morning. You see, Sol likes sleeping on top of me, typically on my shoulder or hip as I tend to be a side sleeper. Last night was no different. Normally, he approaches from the foot of the bed, finds a comfy spot, and snuggles in. Sol also gets up and wanders around the house during the night. Again, a very typical cat thing to do.

This morning’s problem occurred, though, when he was blocked from taking his normal route back to my shoulder. There were dogs in his way. Sol decided the best solution was to jump over Hamilton, which should have been fine, in theory. However, I was in the middle of a WWII-themed dream when all four sets of his claws hit my hip. My response was instinctive. Thinking that Nazis were attacking me, I yelled (for real), and sent poor Solaris flying into the bedroom wall.

If my scream woke anyone else, they haven’t said anything. Sol retreated to the relative safety of my desk chair. I got up and gave him hugs and he eventually came back to bed, settling back down on the same hip he’d attacked. That was at 4:10 this morning. The tone for the day has been set.

We’ve hit that point in the four-year cycle where a lot of people and businesses are making decisions and changing directions as government shifts. Like many states, Indiana has a new governor, an ardent supporter of Felonious Punk who will likely be eager to do the orange one’s bidding. Yet, it’s the new Lt. Governor that has everyone, including many Republicans, concerned. Starbucks now requires that one buy something before using their bathroom or hogging their wifi. There are far too many better places to get coffee, so the only people I see being negatively affected are those whose Depends are already at a breaking point. Amazon is ending its ‘Try Before You Buy’ option for Prime members. I never thought this was a good idea in the first place, as return costs were overwhelming the system. One can still return garments in the usual fashion, so I don’t see a significant number of people losing anything.

At the same time, I’m noticing that a number of people are planning to leave Meta and some other social media platforms. For many, the combination of a million-dollar donation to Felonious Punk’s inauguration and ending its fact-checking policies is too much to bear. I get it. In some ways, I ‘left’ Facebook over a year ago when I started posting my morning updates here so they wouldn’t get flagged. I still scroll through and look at your pictures and such, but I spend little consequential time there outside of when I’m taking a shit.

Here’s the problem with a wholesale departure from a platform: all that remains are the dregs of online society. The misinformation problem gets worse because there’s no one to call out or block those who share it. Good people leaving Meta platforms ultimately end up feeding the monster rather than hurting it in any noticeable way. I’ve already seen an increase in the number of Russia- or Iran-backed fake profiles. While I report and block them as fast as I see them, I know there are thousands more that I don’t see, and that’s a problem.

I also see more people falling for conspiracy theories that, if one looks at them with a modicum of reason, make no sense. I see you making statements like, “There’s too much that doesn’t make sense for some of those theories to not be true.” Really? That reminds me of people who still say they believe the myths of some holy book because science is too much for them to comprehend. Both attitudes are steeped in a willful ignorance that demonstrates a lack of critical thinking by people who have deluded themselves into thinking that they’re being thoughtful and critical.

No, I’m not leaving anything more than I already have. Seeing pictures of your babies and family adventures brightens the days when I have difficulty walking across the floor. There’s still good on social media, we have to curate it for ourselves.

Meanwhile, the Justice Department released Jack Smith’s report yesterday. You can read the whole thing for yourself. Short version: the orange one is guilty as hell and would be indicted if he weren’t about to be a sitting president, again. Therefore, I will, from this point forward, refer to him only as Felonious Punk. Everything he does, everything he says, needs to be couched in the knowledge that this individual knowingly and intentionally broke the law. I will also continue to point out that I’m not the one who re-elected his punk ass.

Now, I have to try and prepare myself for another round of stupidly cold weather. We have enough food, blankets, and clothing for everyone. My biggest concern is the safety of the kids while they’re on city buses. Tipper has already told me of one event where the bus was unable to avoid sliding into an intersection. The bus is still probably safer than a car, though. I wish I could trust the dogs to take themselves outside, but if you’ve met Hamilton you know that’s never going to be possible. Fortunately, he doesn’t like sub-zero windchill more than the rest of us.

Pour yourself another cup of coffee. The day is still young. Remember, life isn’t all that bad as long as you have enough medication.

Current Issues / Health / News & Comment / Personal / Politics / Social Commentary

Monday, January 13, 2025

January 13, 2025

Cancellation.

Nothing about life has ever been certain, not even death and taxes. Sure, they exist, but what form will they take? Can they be put off for another year? Can you make yours more meaningful than anyone else’s? Life doesn’t come with any guarantees and 2025 seems to be the year the universe has decided to emphasize that point.

Twenty-four people are now known dead in the LA fires. Among the victims, an amputee who died next to his son who had cerebral palsy. A resident who refused to leave died with a garden hose in his hands. Annette Rossilli, 85, insisted on staying in her Pacific Palisades home with her dog Greetly, her canary Pepper, her two parrots, and her turtle. Rory Callum Sykes, a former Australian child star, was at the family’s 17-acre Mount Malibu TV Studios estate, where he had his own cottage when it burned down.

Meanwhile, temps across the Midwest are headed back to the bottom of the thermometer by the middle of the week. While there are currently no expectations for additional snow, the severe cold slows recovery efforts and creates additional health problems, especially for those with pre-existing breathing issues (count Kat in with that group).

You’re not the only one feeling as though you’re fighting an uphill battle alone. Winter is always a rough time for those with seasonal depression, but this January is on track to set a new record for violent deaths, including suicide. 988 calls are up dramatically, but there are still thousands who refuse to reach out for help.

There’s an old maxim stating that ‘If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.’ Governments, local, state, and federal, should be leading the charge at finding solutions, but instead, they are the cause of bigger problems. Plows aren’t where they need to be. Fire hydrants are dry. Resources are mismanaged. Legislators are more worried about which committee they’ll be on than providing assistance for their constituents. They’ll approve billionaires for cabinet positions but won’t provide funding for emergency housing.

If there’s going to be a 51st state, it needs to be Puerto Rico, not Canada or Mexico. Invading Greenland only creates more enemies. Interfering with European elections makes the world more unstable. Any ‘war’ on immigrants could have a devastating effect on Social Security. There’s a reasonable fear of a polio resurgence. Even adults may soon be vulnerable to ‘childhood’ diseases, even if you had them as a kid. All of these are things that governments should be addressing, but no, we’re more worried about the ups and downs of the stock market, making sure the rich get richer.

Here’s an idea: complete tax revolt. If billionaires are taking over the government, then they can bloody well pay for it. They have the cash. They could fund the next four years and still be richer than 99% of us. So, why the fuck are people like you and I paying a fucking dime in taxes? I want a full refund. When governments start doing their job, protecting and helping their citizens, then maybe we can talk about people like you and me participating in its funding. Until then, we should keep our money in our pockets.

We’re going to need every dime we have if we’re to survive this year.

Health / Morning Update / Personal / science

Saturday, January 11, 2025

January 11, 2025

Clean Your Brain.

Waking up this morning disrupted one of the more interesting dreams that I’ve had of late. In this dream, which mixed generations of people who had never met in real life, Tipper and I were going to the movies on a Sunday afternoon. Tipper was seeing an animated film about a futuristic robot. I was watching a biopic about a composer, with the added benefit of a seminar with said composer following the film. Anchoring the mall in which the movies were being shown was a massive library, which really isn’t a bad idea, in my opinion. My dream never showed either film, but both had a somewhat disturbing thread connecting them: Communism.

The composer, whose name I don’t remember, was famously autistic and legitimately didn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion of him. Divorced several times, he was known to pick up his paper and pens and disappear, not telling anyone where he was for weeks at a time. The color of ink he used on his manuscripts varied from day to day: green, blue, red, black, and orange. There was no particular reason for his choice of color beyond how he was feeling on a given day.

Among those seated around me at long banquet tables were composers from earlier times in my life, not necessarily Communist composers, but still influential to my education. Nancy Hill Cobb. Alan Bush. Dmitry Kabelevsky. We all chatted as if we’d been long-time friends, which is possible only in dreamland. Dr. Cobb was the only one in the group I’ve known in real life, and I’ve not seen her in over 40 years. Conversations swirled around problems such as uncooperative conductors, lack of respect or interest on the part of audiences, and the seeming futility of attempting to educate a new generation.

The cats woke me before I ‘saw’ the movie. I looked out the window to a yard just as full of snow this morning as it was Tuesday morning. Once again, an arctic blast is forecasted to send temps below 0 by Wednesday morning. A sad fact is that I don’t think anyone is living especially comfortably at the moment. Either one is cold and roads are slick, or one’s house is on fire. The fact that insurance companies dropped fire coverage on thousands of California homes just before the fires began magnifies just how incompetent late-stage capitalism is in addressing the needs of people. There is no ‘up’ side to this past week.

What we did learn this week is that our brains clean themselves while we sleep. The good news is that you don’t have to be in deep REM sleep for this to happen. In fact, the good stuff happens outside of REM areas. The bad news is that sleep-inducing drugs such as Ambien inhibit the brain’s ability to flush out the day’s toxins. I’m taking this to mean that I must have one of the cleanest brains on the planet, or that the toxicity level of my brain is so severe that frequent naps are necessary to keep the damn thing operating. I suppose it’s possible that both are true.

My next question, one not answered in this study, is to what degree, if any, the pulsating cleaning movement affects our dreams. How are our minds getting any rest if our brains are spending our sleep time scrubbing away the bad stuff? Perhaps this might explain how it is possible to sleep all night and still wake up feeling tired. That’s probably not the case, but it’s one of the many questions I’d love for science to answer.

The dogs don’t seem to be in any hurry to go outside this morning. Despite the cats demanding that I wake up and get moving, the pups still haven’t asked to go out. In fact, Hamilton is lying here snoring rather hard. I’m a little jealous. Sleeping sounds like a very good way to spend the day.

Along with finishing this pot of coffee.

Current Issues / Morning Update / News & Comment / Personal / Social Commentary

Friday, January 10, 2025

January 10, 2025

Never Ending.

Hamilton quite literally sat down in the snow and cried as the kids left for school this morning. He kept looking back at me as if asking, “Aren’t you going to go get them? They’re outside the fence!” Once both kids were out of sight, I brought Ham back inside and gave him a treat and snuggles. Belvedere wasn’t as concerned. He came back in, jumped on the bed, and immediately fell back asleep. Given everything going on, sleep may be the best thing for all of us.

Once again, we’re watching a forecast for incoming snow. We’re not dead center on this storm. What falls today merely replaces what had already melted from Monday’s snow. The bulk of the storm is hitting the Mississippi River valley areas of Eastern Missouri and Western Tennessee, along with Arkansas and Oklahoma. This is an area full of small mountains and tall hills which makes the snow significantly more dangerous than it is here. The risks of multiple car accidents and severe slide-offs are high, even on well-used interstates.

New blazes are making the LA fires worse than they already were. Exhausted firefighters are doing their best but dealing with bone-dry fire hydrants isn’t helping and high winds continue to stoke new flames, making containment of the fire almost impossible. As of this morning, ten people have died so far and over 10,000 structures have burned. Many historic homes and tourist attractions are gone.

Watching political leaders try to put the blame for these disasters on their opponents would be entertaining if so many lives weren’t at risk. The sad fact of the matter is that 2024 was the first year above 1.5C of global warming. I know it’s difficult to talk about ‘warming’ when it’s 19 degrees Fahrenheit outside, but it is the changing weather patterns caused by warming that have put us in this dangerous position. Modern humans have not experienced this level of warming before. We’re not ready, and too many people are looking for excuses rather than solutions.

As Americans, making excuses for what happens to us has become our default setting. Excuses are easier than solutions because they don’t require us to act and don’t need to be founded upon facts. We like taking the easy way out and blaming others for the consequences that affect us all. We don’t know the first thing about taking responsibility for our corporate actions. Yet, nothing we experience today happens by accident. We are to blame. All of us.

Equal to the weather risks we’re facing is the potential to be inundated by bullshit as we go into the weekend. Courts refused to stop the sentencing of the Felonious President-elect today, Congress is attempting to pass sanctions on the International Criminal Court for telling the truth, and SCOTUS is hearing the whole TikTok debacle. Que cable news pundits who, in reality, know nothing but will fill the airwaves with vitriol. Pay no attention to a bit of it. This is all performative nonsense that lacks meaning or consequence. Politicians on one side will pat themselves on the back while the others make more excuses. That’s all they know how to do. No one is governing anything.

Pour another cup of coffee. Our first responsibility is keeping ourselves and our families safe. Only when we’re safe can we begin to help others. The number of people needing help this weekend will be high. Please, do what you can.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention the new strain of norovirus that’s hitting everyone, including cruise ships. It’s not pretty, folks. While norovirus is common this time of year, this strain is particularly contagious and resistant to normal remedies. Wash your damn hands.

Let’s try and keep each other alive.

Current Issues / Morning Update / Nature / News & Comment / Personal / Politics / Social Commentary

Thursday, January 09, 2025

January 9, 2025

Hot & Cold.

When I logged in this morning, Grammarly, the browser extension I use to check my spelling and grammar, popped up a notice saying they had reviewed my writing style for 2024 and that I am best described as ‘The Sage.’ I’m not sure I agree with that assessment. ‘Caffeine addict’ is probably more appropriate. I can’t imagine how jumbled my words would be if I didn’t have a pot of coffee sitting on my desk each morning. I stifled a laugh because Kat’s still asleep. Grammarly doesn’t like that last sentence because I changed the tense halfway through. Queen Bit, who is sitting on my laptop acting as editor this morning, doesn’t seem to mind.

The kids are headed back to school this morning. Primary city streets are well-plowed now, so buses are running pretty close to on time. Sidewalks are still a mess as plows piled snow on them, though. Pedestrians can’t catch a fucking break in this city. The safer option in weather like this, and sometimes the only option, is to walk along the edge of the street. I’ve done that more times than I care to count and I know the dangers. Legally, homeowners and businesses are required to clear the sidewalks in front of their homes and businesses. However, at least in our neighborhood, few people are healthy enough to be outside pushing around shovels full of snow. I know it’s not an activity I dare attempt.

I watched with interest as school closing announcements in Oklahoma and Kansas came across my monitor last night. They have a new weather system hitting them this morning. The accumulation totals appear laughable to people living in places where snow is measured in feet, not inches. The challenges the center states face are unique, though. For Kansas, snow on the flatland means blizzard conditions. Ranchers have to find ways to protect cattle herds that are too large and too scattered to move into a barn. For Eastern Oklahoma, the terrain is an issue. The rolling hills that are so beautiful in Spring are treacherous with the smallest amounts of snow. Municipal governments there don’t have the funding for armies of snow plows or tons of salt. Driving is immediately hazardous as the slightest slip of a tire can send one plummeting over the edge of a cliff.

The cold winter weather of the central and eastern states lies in stark contrast to the ‘worst-ever’ wildfires in and around Los Angeles. While it’s still too early to begin making lists, be sure that a large number of landmarks are gone. Alerts this morning show that the fire has spread into the Hollywood Hills, putting the famed sign in danger. I know that area. The scrub brush in between the homes primarily constructed in the 1940s and 50s, puts the entire place in danger of going up like a tinder box. Lives are upended as the only safe option is to leave, not knowing if anything will remain when they return.

If this seems to be out of season for wildfires, you are correct. This fire is unusual and unexpected. While celebrities and movie stars are quick to hop aboard their private jets and whine about the loss of their million-dollar homes, millions of other people struggle to find a ride of any kind. Freeways are more jammed than normal. Residents are forced to make the painful decision to leave behind pets as they flee. Many have no place to go. Traveling very far is not financially possible for hundreds of thousands of people. As the fires grow, some could still become victims even as they’ve already lost their homes.

Against the backdrop of national tragedy, the prospect of a multi-million dollar inauguration funded by gesticulating tech bros demonstrates how completely out of touch the incoming administration is with the realities of living in America. The Felonious President-elect and his billionaire cronies live in a fantasy world where a new Imperialism sounds like a fun thing to start. They have no concept of how rough winters tend to give way to tornado-ridden springs followed by a devastating mix of drought in the West and hurricanes in the East. Millions of lives will be tragically disrupted over the next twelve months. If you think anyone in DC gives a shit, you are sadly mistaken.

If I don’t seem hopeful, I’m not. World leaders are repeating the sins of the 16th and 17th centuries with no clue how wrong their actions are for everyone on the planet. The end results this time will be exactly the same as before. There will be revolutions and uprisings, assassinations, and mass casualty events. Disease will become rampant. Human civilization takes a hard step backward.

I wish I could foresee a better future, but the data doesn’t support that. What may bother me most is that there are groups of religious zealots who will celebrate this chaos because, in their addled minds, these wars must certainly herald the return of a Savior who, once again, fails to show up. They’re willing to not only sacrifice their own lives but those of everyone else in pursuit of a fake prophecy that is never coming true.

Now might be a good time to invest in the funeral business. We’re going to need a lot of caskets.

Go ahead. Prove me wrong. Please.

Cancer Update / Current Issues / Health / Morning Update / Personal

Wednesday, January 08, 2025

January 8, 2025

Destruction & Denial.

Playing around and engaging in meaningless rhetoric isn’t on my agenda today. There’s no point in it. Los Angeles is on fire, whipped up by record-setting winds. The rest of the country is freezing. We still have just as much snow on the ground as we did on Monday. Residential roads still have not been plowed because DPW crews are still having to address dangerous conditions on main roads. There’s no reason to engage in nonsense or frivolity.

I’m keeping the kids home today. I obviously can’t drive them in and it’s too damn cold for them to be standing out in the snow waiting on a city bus. They both have their school laptops. We’ll treat it like an e-learning day. They were both soaking wet and covered in snow after walking home from the bus stop yesterday. There’s no need to repeat that.

In fact, there’s a lot that doesn’t bear repeating. As we return to the ridiculous rantings of a President who fails to engage his brain before speaking (causing many to wonder if he has one at all), the most effective response is no response. One doesn’t take seriously the rantings of a madman. Don’t give his words oxygen. He doesn’t have a fraction of the authority he thinks he has. His rhetoric is meant to cause chaos. Don’t give in.

Disengage. Don’t spread political memes. Don’t share the articles. Don’t participate in the chaos. Focus on you and your family.

I am not well. I have scratches and bruises I can’t explain. Kat says I’m getting up numerous times during the night and I have no memory of doing so. My walking grows increasingly unstable. We have food, but I’m unable to work in the kitchen to cook it. My head spins as this headache continues into its ninth week.

There is no help coming. I called the insurance company yesterday. I’m number 6, 726 on the list for consideration for a Medicaid waiver that could get me into an assisted living facility. The insurance rep was not encouraging, saying that they’re anticipating rule changes at the very least before they can get even a quarter of the way through the list.

I’m on my own. The quiet of the kids being gone yesterday removed any sense of structure to my day. Did I eat anything? The near-empty bag of popcorn on my desk tells me that I did, but I have no memory of fixing it. Did I take my meds? My pill bottles were in a different position this morning, so I assume that I did.

The temperature outside has dropped seven degrees since I started typing an hour ago. I suppose someone might send us pizza or cheeseburgers, but I’m not holding my breath.

I exist, but I am nothing but a shell.

A shell that drinks coffee.

Current Issues / Long Read / Morning Update / Nature / News & Comment / Personal

Tuesday, January 07, 2025

January 7, 2025

What Am I Supposed To Do Without You?

After a break that, in some aspects, feels twice as long as it actually was, the kids return to school today. Yes, even in the snow. Their school, as is all of IPS, is on a two-hour delay, but everyone with any sense knows that roads won’t be any different in two hours than they are now. Making matters all the more challenging, temps are only going down. By Thursday morning, temps are expected to be at or below 0 Fahrenheit. Friday, we’ll see another round of fresh snow. Kat is driving the kids to school today, hoping that the continued efforts of DPW’s ‘Snow Force’ will lead to some improvement in roads by this afternoon. The question is whether any true progress can be made with temps staying well below freezing.

By the end of the week, pretty much all of the US, except for some West Coast areas, will be dealing with uncharacteristic snow and cold. Even Florida’s perennial beach playgrounds are likely to see temps drop close to the freezing mark. There will be snow on the ground in DC for President Carter’s funeral on Thursday, and the potential for snow and freezing temperatures are just a few of the security challenges facing the inauguration on the 20th.

Most state legislatures started their work yesterday, making attempts to prove that they still have some relevance in how their states are governed. One rural Indiana lawmaker introduced legislation that could bring about an end to the Indianapolis Public School system as it currently exists. The bill’s author, Republican Rep. Jake Teshka, who represents District 7 in a rural area south of South Bend and Mishawaka in northern Indiana, stated “I authored this legislation to ensure school corporations are giving our children the best education possible and to find solutions in districts where the current governance is failing its students. This bill would only apply to school districts where more than half of the students and families living within the school district’s boundaries are choosing to attend other schools, meaning their property taxes are funding a school system they don’t attend. This is an important conversation to have, and I look forward to hearing from parents, educators, administrators, and other stakeholders on the best path forward to ensure every Hoosier student receives a quality education.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah, is anyone buying this bullshit? House Bill 1136 would re-organize any school district where 50% or more of the students are enrolled in charter schools. All of the public schools in the district would then be converted to charter schools. This amounts to the privatization of public schools. Indianapolis students would be disproportionately affected. 80 percent of students impacted by the bill are Indianapolis students. NONE of the schools in the author’s district would be affected at all.

This pisses me off for more than one reason. First, I have an issue with some hair-brained jackass from a stinking backwater sloop of a district proposing legislation that does not and will not affect the under-educated peabrains whose parents voted for him. Second, I absolutely DESPISE any attempt to take the voice away from thousands of parents who don’t send their children to charter schools. Charter school companies are notoriously bad about swallowing up school funds for administrative costs while spending less on teachers and classrooms. Charter schools are also predominantly (there are some exceptions) closed off to parents seeking any kind of change.

Full disclosure: our kids attend a charter school that is part of the IPS system. They always have. And while we are pleased with the schools they are in now, that has not always been the case. They started kindergarten in a charter school that was horribly mismanaged, underfunded its classrooms, provided no student support, and looked for any reason to expel disruptive students. G was suspended multiple times while in first grade! Kat was quick to change schools, but the fact that this terrible charter is still in operation is highly disturbing.

I know there are a lot of people who feel that government should be completely out of the education business. The problem with that nonsense is that the only way to ensure that all children, regardless of economic status, race, religion, or disability, receive an appropriate education is to maintain a well-funded and PUBLIC education system. While some charter schools are fantastic, others are only in it for the money grab. Over the past ten years, the Indiana Department of Education has had to revoke the charters of multiple schools that were paying teachers below state minimums, hiring uncredited teachers, and mishandling school funds. Charter schools can, in theory, reject any students they want, make unreasonable demands of parents, and avoid equality oversights. This bill is a foolish idea and all Indiana parents do well to oppose it loudly.

In case you were looking for yet another reason to avoid eating at McDonalds, the fast-food chain announced yesterday that it is ending its diversity, equity, and inclusion programs. The decision comes as dozens of other companies have done exactly the same thing, making the world a more difficult and less comfortable place for anyone who is not a privileged white male. I fail to understand why there is not more noise coming in opposition to this kind of move. These are public companies whose stock prices should be hitting rock bottom because of such foolishness. Where are the boycotts? Where are the marches? I know I’ve changed my shopping/buying habits in the past year, but why isn’t everyone? I don’t get it.

One of the few pieces of good news I’m seeing this morning is that the Biden administration banned unpaid medical bills from appearing on credit reports. While this doesn’t come close to addressing the real problems of the American healthcare system, it does provide a small amount of relief for those who are already struggling with insane amounts of medical debt. Something is better than the nothing we’re going to get over the next four years, but again, why are we not bringing the entire country to a screeching halt over healthcare costs?

I thought about discussing the dangers of Getty Images buying Shutterstock or all the cool things that NVIDIA announced at CES yesterday, but Meta, the parent company of Facebook, upstaged everyone this morning by announcing that it’s eliminating fact-checking. In its place will be a program similar to the user-written Community Notes on X, which is a complete disaster. We have plenty of replacements for X. What we need is a replacement for Facebook. Now.

Sigh. I’m beginning to think that I’m too old for this damn world. We’re ignoring everything that is important to human civilization and electing the most ignorant people we can possibly find, not just in the US but around the world. I don’t feel as though I fit in anywhere. Is it too late in the treatment process to just let cancer consume me?

Current Issues / Long Read / Morning Update / Nature / News & Comment / Personal

Monday, January 06, 2025

January 6, 2025

Could Be Worse.

Someone pissed on my pants. It was obviously one of the cats, the smell is unmistakable. Which one, though? I can only guess. Four shared the room last night but others could easily have wandered in. Perhaps someone was upset that I slept until almost 7:30 this morning, delaying their breakfast. Since I didn’t recognize the problem until I put on the jeans to take the dogs out, I’ll have to shower and change clothes once I finish writing. This is how the week starts.

No, the storm isn’t over. It’s still snowing and we’ll see another wave of heavy snow before noon. Looking out the window, the light snow is almost impossible to see. Only against the darkness of my overcoat was I sure anything was still falling. The flakes aren’t very large, but they’re still there.

Most of the snow is expected to be out of the Indy metro area by noon today. However, that doesn’t mean the danger is over. The airport has already clocked a 40 mph wind gust and more is coming with this afternoon being especially difficult. The wind is coming out of the North which means East/West streets could see a lot of drifting with snow piling up in unexpected places. This means that even roads that have been plowed are not likely to be clear. DPW crews have been working 12-hour shifts since Saturday night but to little avail as the snow keeps falling and blowing.

I am amused and slightly frustrated by all the people uttering a dismissive, “I’ve seen worse.” No shit, Sherlock. We don’t have to receive a record-breaking snowfall for this to be a dangerous and potentially deadly event! WTF! Just because you survived something worse doesn’t negate the importance of the current situation. So help me, too many people are just stupid when it comes to snow.

How much do we have so far? That depends on where one is standing. Official reports show the highest accumulation South of Indy at 8.5 inches. However, the nature of snow is that it varies literally from one yard to the next. The exact placement of houses, the number and location of trees, the height and construction of fences, and one’s proximity to multi-story buildings all factor into how much snow lands in front of the door. Here, judging by how the snow hits the dogs’ legs, we have about seven inches worth of the stuff. Hamilton decided he’d just bury his nose in it. Belvedere did his business and immediately wanted back inside.

Most everything government-related is closed today as are all regional schools. Our kids aren’t scheduled to return to school until tomorrow, so everything being closed today has no effect on them. Tomorrow could be different, though, as ice and wind are likely to continue to make travel hazardous. What I don’t see on any of the closure lists, though, are retail stores. While I can kind of see grocery outlets staying open with a skeleton crew, there’s absolutely no reason for anyone else to be open today. No one needs a new pair of jeans today. Sheets and towels can wait a few days more. Anyone furniture shopping today is just stupid. No one needs to eat out today, either. Bottom line: if you’re shopping for anything that isn’t a life-or-death necessity, you’re a fool. Your presence in a store means other people had to risk their lives to cater to your folly. You don’t need to be driving. No one else needs to be driving. How good a driver you are isn’t the issue. Just stay off the fucking roads.

There’s not a lot of impactful news this morning. Congress certifies the election like it’s obligated to do. Last night’s Golden Globe Awards were the placebo of awards, holding no real meaning for anyone. The markets are mixed, the wars are still stupid, and for some insane reason, Musk thinks he has a right to interfere with the politics of other countries, which is likely to end poorly for him.

There are a couple of situations that are probably worth some conversation because they are more likely to affect people on a personal level. Evidence now shows that the New Orleans driver who killed 14 used Meta’s glasses to scope out and help plan his crime. Not only was he wearing the glasses when he drove into the crowd, but he also used them on two prior trips to the area, recording video that would tell him where crowds were likely to gather and what protections might be in place.

This raises an interesting question or two. If another person had recorded that video and given it to the driver, that person would be arrested and charged with second-degree murder as an accomplice. So, is Meta’s technology on the hook here? Can victims and their families sue Meta for helping to facilitate the attack? Does the very existence of the glasses violate the personal freedoms, particularly the right to privacy, of anyone identified by them? Typically, technology itself is not blamed for the commission of a crime; that’s on the person using it. However, the glasses are designed to identify people who may not wish to be identified. So, where are we going to draw this line?

The second matter involves both the speed and the depth of information Tesla was able to provide police about the driver of the truck that blew up in Las Vegas on New Year’s Day. On one hand, this is nothing new. Law enforcement has been able to access GPS information stored on most new vehicles since 2016. However, law enforcement accesses this information digitally. What’s disturbing in this case is the fact that Tesla CEO Elon Musk was the one who gave Las Vegas police the information. Why did he have access? Who else has access to your driving information and what are they doing with it?

GM has already been found guilty of selling information on 1.5 million drivers to insurance companies without the drivers’ permission. One has to ask whether access to this information can be or is being compromised by criminals or government officials. If US law enforcement has access to the data, does China have access to that information as well? Can Russia or Iran use the information to study things like traffic patterns to plan terrorist activities? What does this mean for individual privacy? Is it illegal to disable the GPS tracking in your vehicle? (Only if you are still paying for said vehicle.)

One more matter that I’ve been sitting on for a couple of days. Below is an editorial cartoon by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Ann Telnaes, formerly of the Washington Post. Ms. Telnaes resigned from the paper after editors rejected this cartoon. Why? Because it includes the Post‘s owner, Jeff Bezos, among those bowing down to the incoming President. So, it’s been published everywhere else, giving the cartoon a far broader circulation than it would have had otherwise. The Post‘s editors fucked this one up. Here’s Ms. Telnaes’ cartoon:

The cartoon deserves to be shared far and wide. Be sure to give Ann Telnaes credit for her work.

Health / Morning Update / Personal

Sunday, January 05, 2025

January 5, 2025

Embracing The Quiet.

Everything was quiet when I took the dogs outside this morning. The wind was barely moving. None of the neighbors were up and around. Normally, we’d see a few people heading to food service jobs or early Mass, but this morning, nothing. No one moved. Several churches have already canceled services for today. The city’s salt trucks were out overnight prepping roads but admitted that the coming wind could negate their efforts, especially on East/West streets. DPW admitted yesterday that clearing roads will be a multi-day task, with residential roads being addressed last. To keep people informed as to what streets have been cleared, the Indy Snow Force map has been activated.

The storm could arrive in the Indianapolis metro anywhere between 10:00 AM and 1:00 PM. Police are advising that people get any necessary travel done before then. Are they being a little inflammatory as to the severity of the storm? Possibly, but they know what we discussed yesterday, People are likely to be overconfident in their skill at driving in the snow. Accidents are inevitable. The best we can hope is that no one dies because of someone else’s foolishness.

One of the interesting things about snow is that it is quiet, one doesn’t hear it falling. We might hear any ice in the mix, and there are moments when the wind may howl, but snow falls silently, sneaking up on us while we’re not looking. In doing so, other sounds become muffled as well. I hear an airplane overhead as it prepares to land at IND, but the birds that typically drive our cats nuts of the morning are all voiceless, hiding in their nests. The only constant sound is that of Belvedere snoring.

Are we wimps to take such a cautious attitude toward this storm? I’m sure those of adventurous spirit would say that we are. Others complain just to claim the role of antagonist. I can appreciate the former but despise the latter. Both are dangerous in their inability to adequately assess the risks of being out. This is what causes people to die.

My advice is to embrace the quiet. Fill your coffee cup and spend the time reading. Of course, if one has children of a rambunctious age, there might be an urge to go outside and build snow persons. I can’t help you there. There’s an artistry to creating a population of snow creatures. The best a parent can do is bundle the little tykes well and feed them warm soup when they return inside. Make sure to take pictures. These are core memories.

This is also a good morning to make pancakes. That’s a problem because I love making pancakes. Unfortunately, the trip outside with the dogs reminded me quite clearly that standing in front of an oven for any length of time is no longer in my skill set. I even have an insulated carafe holding a pot full of coffee so that I don’t have to walk back and forth to the kitchen to fill my cup. I’ll have instant oatmeal instead and try to not spill it all over myself.

We cannot stop the weather from doing whatever it’s going to do. We’re ready no matter the outcome.

Perhaps we’ll take an extra nap.

Current Issues / Health / Morning Update / Personal

Saturday, January 4, 2025

January 4, 2025

Getting Back To Normal

Chances are slim that I could ever convince Kat to climb a tree like this again. Not that I question her ability, mind you. She is still a force of nature that does pretty much anything she sets her mind to doing even if she probably shouldn’t. When I asked her to climb the tree twelve years ago, she didn’t even bother taking off her sandals and was up there in no time. Now, if I were to make a similar request, I imagine her response would be more along the lines of, “Why? Are you trying to kill me?”

There are days when it seems that Kat and I are in a contest to see who can die first. The effects of her pulmonary embolism in November are long-term. Her doctor told her that it would be three to six months before she would start breathing normally again. I don’t think the doctor understood that giving Kat a warning like that is like handing her a challenge. Already, she’s overworking herself, and while she’s setting a few more boundaries, other health issues are beginning to pop up because she doesn’t feel she can afford to take the time off.

When I stepped outside with the dogs this morning, the first breath of cold air hurt everything from my nose to my lungs. The temperature is 15 degrees Fahrenheit and that’s before the windchill is factored. I don’t need to be out in that mess. Kat doesn’t need to be out in it, either, but she’s still planning on going to the salon for a few hours today. She’ll spend the night in Fishers, per usual, but it almost certainly will be snowing before she heads back home tomorrow afternoon.

Snow? We’ve not had decent snow in Indy in the past twelve years. We were sitting on about seven inches of the white stuff when Kat and I first met, and it was normal enough then that few people gave such snow totals a second thought. We’ve not seen anywhere near that amount since then, though. That’s twelve years of people not having to drive in the dangerous conditions that higher amounts of snow present. The Department of Public Works has completely changed its street plowing strategy since then. People who grew up here are claiming that they’re not worried and Kat’s response yesterday was, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

I understand the skepticism. There have been plenty of other times when the forecast called for three to four inches of snow and we ended up barely getting enough to cover the ground. I bought a new snow shovel four years ago and only once has it been used to remove the less-than-two inches of white stuff on the sidewalk. It’s not like meteorologists are exactly reliable with these forecasts.

But then, at 2:30 this morning my phone woke me with a weather alert. The National Weather Service had just issued a Winter Storm Warning for a significant chunk of the Midwest, through 4:00 PM on Monday. How large a storm are we talking about? Here’s the warning map. The pink areas are where snow totals are likely to be the highest.

Kansas, Nebraska, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio are in for a rough couple of days. Plenty of other areas are likely to see a mixture of snow and ice (purple-colored on the map). The storm, an ‘Alberta Clipper’ by colloquial standards, is not a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when.’ Most local meteorologists put the beginning of the snow in Inday around noon on Sunday. Extrapolate from there. Kansas/Nebraska are likely to see it early tomorrow morning. Ohio won’t see it until midafternoon.

Local meteorologists, having been burned on forecasts several times over the past decade, are hedging their bets on snow totals. Here are the accumulation predictions from all four Indianapolis television stations.

As you can see, even the local teams (and they’re all teams at this point) can’t agree on the totals. Each has chosen a different model based largely on past experience rather than actual knowledge. The truth is much more difficult to nail down. Variables such as ground temperature, wind, barometric pressure, and moisture saturation levels all can change within any given ten-foot radius. Totals will vary from one neighborhood to another. Things such as building density, foliage coverage, the ratio of concrete to water to dirt, and the presence of nearby heat generators such as factories all contribute to how much show one sees in their front yard.

[Non-sequiter: there is the shadow of a bird in my window and I have four cats in here staring at it, ready to pounce. The whole scene is rather hilarious.]

What does all this mean? This is more than a bread-and-milk alert. While sunshine should return by Wednesday, temps won’t get above freezing all week, and overnight lows will be down in the single digits Wednesday-Saturday at least. That creates a situation where any area not completely cleared during the day will freeze over during the night, creating dangerous conditions for anyone attempting to get to work. The Department of Public Works is limited in its ability to fight icing. Despite near-whiteout conditions Sunday afternoon, the more dangerous driving periods could be Wednesday and Thursday mornings.

Again, long-time residents of the Midwest remember when this kind of weather was just normal for the winter months. The first year I was here (2005), it started snowing on Thanksgiving and there was still snow on the ground in late April. From that perspective, this type of weather pattern isn’t particularly shocking or unusual. The population has changed significantly in the past decade, however. The Midwest has become a popular relocation destination over the years and there is a significant part of the population that legitimately doesn’t know what to do.

Everyone likes to think they can drive on snow, but no, you can’t. There’s almost certainly ice under that snow and your four-wheel or front-wheel drive vehicle won’t help with that. Most accidents occur on residential streets which are never plowed until major roads are clear and even then have to leave a two-inch buffer to avoid raised manhole covers. This is stay-the-fuck-home-and-wait-for-it-to-pass weather. Bake cookies. Build interesting snow scenes ala ‘Calvin & Hobbes.’ Keep your pets inside unless you have a beast like Hamilton who actually thrives in the cold. Getting him to come back inside this morning was a pain in the ass.

Next to the cold temps, wind speeds are probably the biggest concern and almost impossible to predict until they’re here. High winds result in drifting snow and downed powerlines. Stocking up on heavy blankets and protein bars probably isn’t a bad idea.

Will I be out in the snow taking pictures? We’ll see. If I do, I am more likely to use my phone camera rather than the Nikon. I don’t want my lens getting messed up by street chemicals or having the shutter freeze as they sometimes do in below-freezing temps. The sad fact is that I have no business being out in the stuff, but it’s been so long since we’ve had a decent snowfall that it will be difficult to resist. I’m not making any promises in either direction.

Meanwhile, I’m surrounded by furry animals who like to cuddle, we have plenty of coffee with more than one way to brew it, and there are enough blankets for everyone. We’ll be okay. The only one who’s questionable is Kat. She’s not going to listen to anyone but herself. Good thing she’s smart.

Health / Morning Update / Mythology / Personal / Social Commentary

Friday, January 3, 2025

January 3, 2025

Today’s update is considerably shorter than yesterday’s, despite the fact I have extensive thoughts swirling around in my head. Something’s off. I feel as though my t-shirt is choking me; it’s not, but there’s an uncomfortable feeling of tightness around my lower neck. I’m having some minor difficulty breathing and I’m a bit lightheaded. Put it all together and I’m having some difficulty stringing words together.

An interesting article appears in the online edition of the New York Times (I can’t find it in the print edition, but it could be in section C) that asks the question, “Can God speak through AI?” The article is totally benign and nonsectarian, as one might expect from the Times. Rabbis, Imams, and pastors are experimenting with AI writing and sometimes delivering their sermons. There has always been some wrangling required as religion wrestles with any new technology going all the way back to the printing press. The question inevitably asked comes down to whether the voice and inspiration of a deity can flow through something other than a human hand or voice.

The question raised in my sloggy excuse for a brain is how long will it take before AI becomes the deity? After all, we’re dealing with mythologies as the source material. While current experiments use a leader’s previous material to fashion new sermons or worship experiences, we’re not that far away from AI being able to translate and interpret the original languages of Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek. In fact, AI may produce the most accurate translation yet as it would likely have the ability to reflect tone and usage common to the authors. Put it all together and we may not be too far from Lifeway Press marketing a 52-part Sunday morning package to small churches who can’t really afford a pastor. From there, it’s a short step to AI taking over religion.

Think I’m crazy? Look at how the printing press ultimately participated in dividing Christianity. Catholicism reigned supreme as long as only priests had access to Bibles. Gutenberg’s invention changed that, eventually allowing for there to be a Bible in the hands of every parishioner. People started interpreting scripture for themselves and as they did, differences in those interpretations resulted in the splits and fractures we now recognize as different denominations. There are still millions of people who believe that the King James version of the Bible is the only one actually inspired by God.

Understand, when it comes to the topic of what is or is not ‘inspired’ we’re not dealing with reality. Faith is in no way moored to fact. The vast majority of believers in any religion are dependent on what is said by the leaders. Scriptures in ancient languages with references that no longer apply are practically impossible for even a reasonably educated person to decipher. Data from the Pew Research Center shows that only 38% of North American Christians have post-secondary degrees, the level at which one might begin to understand the intonation of the original texts. Among Hindus, that number is only 6%. Everyone else falls somewhere in between. The dependency on the presumed knowledge of religious leaders is the glue that holds most religions together. Begin replacing that dependency with AI and the potential for the whole thing to go off the rails becomes immense.

Once again, I’m limited in my concern. I doubt I’ll be alive with the First Church of OpenAI starts accepting new members, or requiring devotion and tithes. I do wonder if ChatGPT or something could be trained to write my morning updates. I know it could summarize the news. Could it know how I’m feeling without waking me up? If AI can speak for God then what’s stopping it from speaking for me?

Hmmmm … is there an AI model fueled by coffee?

Cancer Update / Current Issues / Health / Long Read / Morning Update / News & Comment / Personal / Social Commentary

Thursday, January 02, 2025

January 2, 2025

The Senselessness Of Existing

So, this is how we’re going to start the new year? Are you dead sure this is what you want: hate, fear, fury, anger, depression, helplessness, and loss? Or is it a severe bout of stupidity, ignorance, brain rot, selfishness, emotional malignancy, miseducation, and deprivation? I’m done asking ‘why’ because that question is irrelevant–it doesn’t matter. There’s no point in questioning the motives behind actions fueled by an unconscionable lack of humanity. There is no reasoning behind the disregard for life. No one wants to play this game if you’re just going to overturn the board and fling the pieces around the room.

I woke around 3:30 this morning with the sensation of pain pushing its way through my head. Sure, I’ve had a severe headache for more than two months now, but this was a new, different direction in what feels like an assault at the atomic level. Whether it’s the cancer, the diabetes, the hypertension, or some yet unnamed malady makes no difference. Pain is a permanent part of my reality and the most critical thought I have today is in choosing how I am going to respond, not because it will ease my suffering, but because I have no right to let the pain in my body infringe on the happiness of anyone else.

When I inquired of Tipper this morning as to whether she has any immediate needs, she responded with a request for winter boots, something that will keep her feet dry, size 91/2. As soon as I finish here I will place the order for those boots. Can I afford them? Probably not, but that’s my problem, not hers. Taking care of her needs, of G’s needs, is not my ‘job,’ it is the obligation of conscience that comes with being a parent. I do not exist, none of us exist, to make myself/ourselves comfortable. We exist to participate in and perpetuate the harmony of humanity. When we fail in that task, as we do now, lives outside our own become fractured. What right have we to become the destroyer of someone else’s world?

Step back and look at where we are. An aspiring nurse, a football star, a single mother, and a father of 2 were among those killed in yesterday’s New Orleans attack. Firework mortars and gas canisters were stuffed inside a Tesla that exploded outside Trump’s Las Vegas hotel. 10 people were wounded in a shooting outside a New York City nightclub. Montenegro mourns after gunman killed at least 12 people before shooting himself. All of this occurred within a single twenty-four-hour period. Willful destruction of people’s lives, something that no one has a right or obligation to commit. The shedding of tears, the cries of pain, and the agony of innocent lives lost is not only on the hands of those who pulled the triggers or detonated the bombs but on all who failed to teach compassion, understanding, cooperation, and the individual role in all of humanity.

Let’s be very clear: you do not have a need, the responsibility, or the right to ‘fix’ anyone but yourself. Making America, Canada, Mexico, China, or anywhere else ‘great’ is not accomplished by interfering with the rights of another person, especially their right to exist in the space where they are. If you want to make your country better, regardless of which one it is, you have to own the fact that you are part of the problem. What makes a country great is not a shared ideology but a full-body commitment to community, to caring, to helping, to learning, and to making the lives of others better than when you first met them. That goal is never achieved through violence, hate, fearmongering, belittling, bullying, or force of any kind. We have to give other people the space, the resources, and the support to be who they are, not who we want them to be.

I was outside with the dogs yesterday afternoon when Hamilton alerted on activity taking place several houses to our South. With Ham’s first bark, Belvedere came running at full speed. I looked to see what had them concerned. A man was screaming as he exited the house, “You just can’t let other people be happy, can you?” He repeated the question several times as he tossed his belongings in the car and left with his partner. The occupants of the house he left have a history of domestic violence. Police have been called multiple times over the years. When one person attempts to force their will on others, no matter how well-intentioned, they do damage, and create fear, loathing, and frustration for the other person.

Leaving a situation where one is being harmed is only a partial solution, though. When one leaves, they take with them the emotions heaped upon them. What are they supposed to do with that burden? Too many times it ends up being turned on someone else, someone who is not part of the problem, someone who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Early this morning, two people arrived at the emergency room of a local hospital sporting fresh gunshot wounds. They had been shot while on the Interstate. Police do not yet know if the victims knew the shooter or had any other interaction with them. Maybe they didn’t signal when changing lanes. Maybe they cut off another vehicle. Why doesn’t matter. No one had the right to shoot them, to damage their lives in ways that would be manifested for the rest of their existence.

God didn’t create hell nor does any deity send one to such a place. We create hell ourselves every time we fail to care about the lives of other people. Hell is not a threat for after one dies; hell is here, now, in the absence of compassion, understanding, and failure to hold oneself responsible for the obligations of participating in humanity. Hell is the absence of reason and the embrace of chaos. Hell is the ascension of one’s self over others. Hell is the imposition of one’s will, ideology, or religion upon people who are fully capable of thinking and acting for themselves.

Jesus doesn’t save, but you can. Humanity has existed on this planet somewhere between 50,000 and 100,000 years (depending on how one defines ‘human.’). Not once has Jesus deflected a bullet. Not once has Mohammed shielded anyone from a bomb. Not once has any deity stepped in to stop a war. If we want those things to happen, we have to do them ourselves, for each other. We are the force that makes a difference in this world. Whether that force is used for good or evil is an individual decision that we make every second of our lives. We determine who lives and who dies, who’s happy and who’s sad.

Take inventory of yourself today, pluses and minuses. Start with the list of things you’re doing well, the positives in your life, what you’re addressing to your own benefit, the things you’re learning, and the ways you’re helping others. Then, take an honest look at where you’re doing harm, whether it’s to yourself or someone else. Where are you willfully being ignorant? Where are you misplacing your trust? Who are you following that is misleading you? If that side of the list isn’t as long as the other, try again.

Frankie, the smashed-face wheezer kitty, just jumped onto my desk. He likes having his chin scratched. It takes three seconds of my time to make his life better. It might take a little longer to find Tipper some good winter boots, but the effort is worth making her life better.

If the world we live in is a bad, scary, and dangerous place, it’s because we made it that way.

Do better.

Current Issues / Health / Holidays / Morning Update / News & Comment / Personal / Politics / Social Commentary

Wednesday, January 01, 2025

January 1, 2025

The Daily Requirement of Vitamin C [2010]

Don’t look back, look forward. I know that’s not easy when every media source is doing ‘year in review’ stories all over the place, but 2024 is dead. I’m not sure it deserves a proper burial. Just toss it in a ditch and move on because the trouble it caused stays with us long after it’s gone.

We don’t need resolutions today, either. We need a re-commitment to ourselves and the people and things we love. I started this morning by cleaning around Frankie, the smashed-face wheezer kitty’s bad eye. I played peek-a-boo with Hamilton for several minutes. Bit is nuzzling my hands as I type, purring loudly. I’m on my third cup of coffee, drinking it slowly, enjoying the taste. These are some of the things that matter.

Kat sent back pictures of the little cabin she’s staying in; it’s nicely appointed with a huge picture window looking out onto the woods. Perhaps she’ll see some wild turkeys or even a deer or two. She handles the cold better than most people, so she’s planning on doing a little hiking around the cabin, enjoying the time to herself, and the quiet.

G stayed up with me until midnight. I looked in on him at one point during the evening to find him studying schoolwork. He’s not happy with his GPA, or all the gunfire in our neighborhood. Tipper ignored both of us last night but was up early talking on the phone with a friend.

Perhaps our lives aren’t as exciting as others. We’re not jetting off to some exotic location, running marathons, or attending parties. I only left the yard once during the entire month of December. We take our meds, keep our heads down, and focus on staying alive. Considering all the options, that seems to be the best approach to the new year.

There are three news stories this morning that I find concerning. The first is the tragedy of a car driving into a group of revelers in New Orleans. At least ten are dead and 30 people injured. No one has any details yet, no idea of what motivated the attack. Around the world, driving vehicles into large groups of people has become an easy form of terrorism. There’s no good way to stop it from happening. Even staying inside holds no guarantees. This is the way 2025 is starting, not from an attack by a foreign agency, but from ourselves, our neighbors.

Hidden within the many folds of today’s New York Times is a careful story about the large cache of bombs the FBI has discovered at a Virginia farm. This is the largest collection of non-military explosives the agency has uncovered in its history. Most of the explosives were fashioned as pipe bombs, some marked ‘lethal’ and others with the hashtag #nolivesmatter. With the hashtag comes a threat from what has, until now, been a mentally deficient shadow group of far-right ideologies that “historically encouraged members to engage in self-harm and animal abuse,” according to a threat assessment released in August by the New Jersey Office of Homeland Security and Preparedness. Again, these are not foreign players. They call themselves patriots, forcing us to question the motives of anyone who claims that title for themselves. The person in custody even blew off three of his own fingers while making the bombs but was undeterred in his mission. You are right to be bothered. The FBI found one, but there are many others.

Chief Justice John Roberts issued his annual report and his words are alarming. The judiciary is under attack. Threats against federal courts and justices have tripled over the last decade. As more political cases are thrust into federal courts, more people, especially politicians, are dissatisfied with the results. “It is not in the nature of judicial work to make everyone happy,” he wrote. He’s also concerned about “elected officials” who blatantly disregard court rulings. No, he didn’t mention anyone by name, but everyone knows that was a warning to the incoming administration.

Put those three stories together and you have the makings for a very rough year. In one way or another, we are all targets. Yet, there’s little we can do besides going on about our lives as if nothing’s wrong. So, tell people you love them even if it’s awkward. Be kind where you can but don’t tolerate stupidity. Perhaps consider investing in some Kevlar.

Happy New Year.

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Tuesday Morning Update: 12/31/24

December 31, 2024

Chemo pill day 766

“I wear the chain I forged in life. I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.” [2011]

Looking back through my Facebook memories, I have to go all the way back to 2011 to find a year where I felt that the coming year might be better than the last one. I have no hope at all for 2025. My checking account is negative. The social security check likely won’t hit until Thursday or Friday. There are gifts that still have not arrived and may have to be completely replaced. Kat is taking some necessary time by herself at a cabin in Brown County and won’t be back until Thursday. The Recovery Room is a mess and will take most of the day to clean. Laundry is piled high. The coffee maker decided to just dump water all over the counter this morning.

My body refuses to cooperate. We’re now two months into a non-stop headache and I still can’t see a neurologist for another 30 days. I can barely stand long enough to take the dogs out. I’ve already given the kids notice that they’ll need to fend for themselves for meals. Fortunately, the fridge and freezer are stocked. There’s a pending problem with my left eye that I can’t yet explain. My mind is unable to focus; it takes almost three hours to create these updates each day. I have books I want to read but after a couple of paragraphs, I have to put them down.

Meanwhile, the US Treasury says Chinese hackers stole documents in a ‘major incident’. Desktops within the Treasury itself were compromised. We cannot assume that any digital information is safe anywhere. One might as well assume that someone, somewhere, has access to everything from your grocery list to your dreams.

The FBI is warning sports leagues about crime organizations targeting professional athletes. Homes are being burglarized during games. Both NFL and NBA players have been affected so far. If you are in the habit of buying things from pawn shops, swap meets, or flea markets, I would suggest that you stop. Chances are too high that you’re receiving stolen merchandise.

The Taliban says they will close all national and foreign nongovernmental groups employing Afghan women, but the global attack on women’s rights doesn’t end there. In Gaza’s crowded tent camps, women wrestle with a life stripped of privacy. There are plenty of people who want to strip American women of their rights as well. You elected most of them to Congress.

Nearly all of Puerto Rico is without power on New Year’s Eve. Problems maintaining heat and power exist all over the globe. Moldovans fear looming energy shortage as Russia halts gas supplies. The move could put several European countries in danger, sparking a global economic crisis.

Xi says no one can stop China’s ‘reunification’ with Taiwan but that’s not likely to happen without war and that, too, would create an economic crisis for which neither the US nor anyone else is ready. The chances of such a war being limited to Taiwan are almost nil as Japan stays positioned to defend the South China Sea. Should Japan become involved in a war with China, the US is obligated by treaty to become involved as well.

Norovirus cases are surging in parts of the US, CDC data shows. We’re not well. I’m not sure we want to be well. If predictions from the New York Times are any indications, our diets this next year are not likely to help the matter any. We already know that the incoming president is incapable of adequately handling any kind of large-scale disease outbreak, so we’d best take care of ourselves as much as possible.

The world population will be 8.09 billion on New Year’s Day. Remember, we surpassed the limit of the planet’s sustainability at the six billion mark. Whether Republicans like it or not, we need to stop having so many babies. There’s no longer a need for you to replace yourself. AI will take up the slack in employment and, increasingly, more children will be born into a life of poverty.

New Year’s Eve is often referred to as ‘amateur night’ because of the number of people at parties who only drink one or two times a year and are unable to hold their alcohol. The problem may not be as bad this year, though, as few people say they’re going out for the night. Why should anyone go out? There’s nothing really to celebrate. Sure, we’re leaving behind a really rough year but 2025 is only going to be better for the 1%. The rest of us are going to suffer and things that are bad now will only get worse.

Is there any good news as we shed the chains of one year for the heavier chains of the next? About the only thing I could find is news that Wallace & Gromet are making a comeback. Other than that, we’re pretty much screwed.

Happy Fucking New Year.

Current Issues / Morning Update / News & Comment / Personal / Politics

Monday Morning Update: 12/30/24

December 30, 2024

We are at that point where end-of-the-year deaths are kicking in. Linda Lavin, who became a familiar face on TV playing ‘Alice,’ died yesterday at age 87. Charles Shyer, ‘Father of the Bride’ and ‘Baby Boom’ filmmaker, dies at 83. The founder of Cablevision and HBO, Charles Dolan, died at 98. At least 66 people died after a truck plunged into a river in southern Ethiopia. 18 passengers were killed in 2 separate road accidents in Pakistan. Indy’s homicide rate hit 200 yesterday, but overall, the nation’s murder rate continues to decline.

What’s dominating headlines this morning, though, is the death of former President Jimmy Carter, the 100-year-old longest-living president of the US. All the tributes being raised are appropriate for no one deserves as much respect as does President Carter. You don’t have to look far to find lists of all his accomplishments and the challenges that cost him a second term. Thousands of people have stories of their encounters with the former president, most of which are overwhelmingly positive. I am fortunate enough to have two.

The first came in a reception line in 1997. I was photographing the event and it wasn’t until everyone else had filed through that I was allowed to meet the former President and First Lady. I wasn’t expecting anything more than a tired handshake and maybe a ‘nice to meet you’ or ‘thank you for coming.’ The fatigue was showing on the President’s face, the hour was late, and there was absolutely no reason for us to have a conversation. Yet, when I extended my hand, he took it firmly in both of his and held it. He smiled with that trademark smile and we talked for nearly five minutes, an eternity in presidential time. We briefly discussed photography and the event but quickly moved on to family, faith, and concerns about the future. He didn’t temper his statements to be politically correct. He was forthright and candid in his opinions. I left significantly more impressed than I could have imagined.

The second encounter was by chance in 2002. I was exploring numerous side projects at the time, one of which involved trying to get a grip on exactly what happened during the Iranian hostage crisis. At the time, there was still a lot of information that hadn’t been digitized, so my best resource was Carter’s presidential library. After pouring through pages of redacted documents, I stepped outside for a breath of fresh air. Off to the side, totally undisturbed and almost unrecognizable, was the former President kneeling down to tend to a young flowering plant. He was wearing jeans, a denim jacket, and an Atlanta Braves ball cap.

I had no intention of disturbing him; I had no right nor reason. He was busy working with the plant, as far as I could tell there wasn’t even Secret Service around (they were there, I just didn’t see them). I sat on a concrete bench and was looking through my notes when I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was the President. Smiling, he asked, “It’s Charles, isn’t it? I almost didn’t recognize you with the long hair.”

I started to stand but his hand sat me back down. “Don’t bother,” he said. “I was going to sit down anyway.” He inquired as to what I was working on and when I told him his expression and tone grew serious. He asked, “What’s your perspective?”

“It seems like it was a lose/lose situation no matter what you might have done,” I told him.

He nodded. “There’s still a lot that’s classified which prevents me from fully explaining our decision-making process at the time. Let’s just say that there are moments we can’t see clearly until we’re looking through the lens of the past. If I had known then what I know now, the situation would never have happened.”

We talked for almost thirty minutes, discussing the challenges of dealing with multiple concurrent crises, the politics of international negotiations, and trying to parent a rebellious child (Amy) while running for re-election. He talked openly about deception, political interference, and the loneliness of taking an unpopular stance (he wanted to officially recognize Palestine). He worried that 9/11 proved how vulnerable the US is and how the unpredictability of terrorism sometimes backs presidents into a corner. Winning isn’t always an option.

A phone call from his wife, Rosalyn, brought an end to our conversation. We shook hands and he went inside. I gathered my things and stopped for a chili dog on my way back to the office, pondering what had just happened. Such accessibility to any other president would be impossible. He broke the mold in ways we still can’t imagine.

There will be a lot said, a ton of analysis and re-examination, over the next week and a half. President Carter’s state funeral has been set for January 9. There will also be memorials in Atlanta and internment in Plains. People will say a lot of things, share a lot of memories, and build up a life that was unique in his public service.

I’ll sit here wishing I could have seen him again, had another conversation. I’m sure his perspective had changed even more over the years. He was an extremely intelligent and thoughtful person who never, ever stopped thinking.

His death closes one of the most chaotic years in memory. I’ll never forget the experience, the humanity, and the honesty of the gentleman from Plains. May he rest in peace.

Current Issues / Long Read / Morning Update / Mythology / Personal / Social Commentary

Friday Morning Update: 12/27/24

December 27, 2024

The unique and wonderful designs of Tiffiany Gilstrap-Scott break out of the raw setting of the Hannah House attic [2011]

We are entering the Season of G. With the completion of this semester’s study, G has completed all the credits required for his sophomore year and is now a high school junior. How could we tell? The out-of-state colleges are starting to court him. Two pieces arrived in yesterday’s mail. He immediately discarded one because of its religious leanings. “If your religious beliefs are one of your primary benefits, your academics can’t be all that great,” he said. And how did he spend the rest of the day? Cleaning his room, “because I’m bored.” Whatever this kid ends up doing, it’s going to be great.

But then, I’m fairly certain that my parents had similar expectations of me when I was 16 and we see how that turned out. I never became the conductor or pianist they thought I would be. I never saw the success I wanted and when I finally get around to dying in 20 years or so, my obituary won’t make the New York Times. We can enter adulthood with incredible privilege yet most of us fail to rise above a level of mediocrity. History may confirm that we exist, but no one outside our family and closest friends is likely to care.

I can’t speak for G’s generation, of course, but I can speak for mine. There’s a word for what we experienced: disillusionment. We are the generation that went through school with a post-war attitude that we could do anything. We sat in classrooms and watched Neil Armstrong take that first step on the moon. At that moment, it felt as though the stars were within our grasp. I remember sitting in fifth grade and my teacher confidently telling us that the US was the best country because “we, the people” could stop bad government at the ballot box. By the time we graduated from High School, women such as Gloria Vanderbilt, Diane Von Furstenberg, Vivienne Westwood, and Miuccia Prada had taken over the fashion scene putting women in jeans and t-shirts, emphasizing comfort and their view of practicality. New businesses were everywhere, it seemed. There was nothing that couldn’t be done.

What the fuck happened? We failed to stop bad government. Not only did we vote for Ronald Reagan’s “trickle-down” theories twice, but we allowed him to cut funding for the arts by 50%, eliminate regulations for banking, and make it possible for a small handful of people to own 90% of the world’s wealth. The definitions of both “Democracy” and “Capitalism” changed dramatically during the 1980s, leading to one financial crisis after another, and we did nothing to stop it.

As a nation, we came out of WWII with the view that we were all good people. We had stopped fascism over there before it had a chance to take hold in the US, we thought. We were sure that a majority of people could be trusted. Cars and appliances could run forever with just a little maintenance. Vaccinations were improving our mortality rate. Technology and innovations created in the US were fueling global advancements. By the time I graduated from high school, we had a device in our kitchen that could make day-old bread taste fresh in just ten seconds! Sure, there were some glitches, such as the Iran hostage situation, but at the same time, cracks were showing in the “iron curtain” of communism. We could still be proud of being Americans.

By the 1990s, all of that positivity was gone. The 1991 financial crisis showed how vulnerable we were to the natural fluctuations in the economy. Our president had sex with an intern in the Oval Office. Limits on lobbying were lifted. Corporations shifted from being innovative to “increasing shareholder value.” “Planned obsolescence” became a viable business model. People happily embraced Gordon Gecko’s mantra that ‘greed is good.’ We learned that no one, not even the Church, could be trusted. We all started going to therapy.

I remember that same fifth-grade teacher being certain that if there were ever a political crisis not immediately solvable at the ballot box, the aggrieved citizens of the US would rise up together and physically overthrow the tyrant. Instead, we did exactly the opposite on January 6, 2021. The majority of voting Americans now support the same fascism we thought was eliminated in the 1940s.

We stand here now a mere four days away from a year in which we seemed to be determined to let the oligarchs take over because we continue to believe that greed is good. We refuse to support universal healthcare because we are afraid that someone might get some advantage over us. We refuse to reign in corporate misbehavior because it might negatively impact our 401K. We have stopped being a United set of states and are now a nation torn by individual desires competing for who can hoard the most wealth, no matter how much it hurts someone else.

One of the headlines grabbing my attention this morning warns that human-made detritus, most of which is concrete and asphalt, now outweighs all the living matter on earth. Click the link. There are graphics to help you understand just how immense the problem is. We have taken a once-pristine planet, turned it into a giant garbage heap, and called it home.

Given the number of years that have passed and the number of cigarettes he consumed (sometimes while still in the classroom), I’m going to assume that my fifth-grade teacher has probably been dead for a while. I hope he did not see his vision of the United States implode to this horrible degree. Instead of being a world leader, we are now a second-rate country (at best) not only repeating the sins of Nazi Germany but lumping in the Apartheid of South Africa (with a bastard of a South African at the helm). As a country, we no longer care about the survival of our citizens. If we did, we’d have universal healthcare. If we gave a shit, we’d address homelessness head-on. If we had any inclination toward compassion, we’d embrace the immigrant population. If we had an ounce of humanity, we would have long-ago buoyed up the systems designed to secure our old age rather than gutting them.

I’m looking around, wondering when the protests are going to start, and I’m discouraged. I don’t see the will to force a turn-around. Instead, all I see is a reluctant acceptance of ‘this is just the way things are.’

No, it isn’t. We can do better. We do not have to accept one damn thing the incoming administration proposes. DOGE is NOT a government agency. We have feet we need to stand upon. Some asses need to be kicked. We need to defend our country and our government just as vigilantly now as we did at its birth.

Interestingly enough, it was on this date in 1814 that the Treaty of Ghent ended the War of 1812 and finally sent the British packing, securing the independence of the United States. We need to get back that resolve of fighting for what’s right, eliminating the oligarchs, addressing the needs of our citizens, and “ensuring the blessings of liberty.”

Unfortunately, I’m not sure we have what it takes.

Current Issues / Holidays / Morning Update / Personal

Thursday Morning Update: 12/26/24

December 26, 2024

I feel that anything I post today should be short. The challenge is whether I can make it sweet. I’m not sure that’s possible. 2024 has been the worst year since 2016 and for many of the same reasons. The difference now is we know what kind of horrors to expect next year and more people are openly supportive of ruining people’s lives in the name of some warped identity crisis.

We are reminded that life has been worse. Today is the 20th anniversary of the Indian Ocean tsunami that killed over 230,000 people. All the wars put together didn’t kill that many people this year. Sure, Mother Nature gave it a helluva shot and I dare say there are parts of the Carolinas that will never recover. Still, if natural disasters were our only worry we’d be in pretty good shape.

We’re all tired of political news, which could be a problem going into 2025. We’re being led by narcissistic billionaires. If a statement or action doesn’t give them enough attention, they go with something bigger, something too large to be ignored. Attempting to ignore them simply causes their behavior to be worse. We cannot live in peace when we are led by people who survive on chaos.

A baby froze to death overnight in Gaza as Israel and Hamas trade accusations of ceasefire delays. This was an infant girl, but… what if it had been named Jesus? We conveniently ignore that “Bethlehem in Judea” is what we now know as the West Bank. We also ignore that there was no Roman tax decree and that if there is any truth to the story at all, it happened in June, not December. What’s worse is that many celebrate the birth of an immigrant 2,000 years ago while simultaneously denying aid to immigrants now. More than 10,000 migrants died this year trying to reach Spain by sea. If you worship the one allegedly born in a manger but turn away the others just like him, your faith is merely a mythological fantasy.

I’m seeing a lot of “The Year in Pictures” posts from the news outlets. I’m not looking. I don’t need to look. There are already too many images from this year imprinted on my brain; images of people screaming hate, pictures of death and destruction, photos of chaos taking over the world. I don’t need to be reminded of the disaster that we created for ourselves.

Perhaps we’ll just stop here for today. I’m not finding anything genuinely sweet, even among the recipes for cookies. For those who have today off from work, please love those around you. And should you encounter those who are working today, by all means, extend kindness and courtesy to them. We all need more kindness in our lives. All of us.

Art / Holidays / Morning Update / Mythology / Personal

Christmas Day Update, 2024

December 25, 2024

We wish you Merry
in whatever you choose
to celebrate today.

We wish you Merry
however you choose
to celebrate today.

We wish you Merry
wherever you choose
to celebrate today.

We wish you Merry.
All of you.

charles i. letbetter - 5 Things You Should Know Holiday

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Christmas Eve Update, 2024

December 24, 2024

Lost In Christmas [2011 original with AI enhancement]

Breaking News:

The Sanctuary on Penn, an old church building converted to an event center, is on fire and likely a complete loss. The fire started around 5:30 this morning. No one has been injured (so far), but the building is likely a complete loss. I know I’ve shot there, several others have shot there, and it’s a fairly popular wedding venue. This is a significant loss for the city and our hearts go out to everyone affected.

Breaking News:

The FAA has grounded all American Airlines flights in the US because of a ‘technical glitch.’ The airline requested the grounding after it was discovered that the technical issue was system-wide and could affect every plane in the fleet. This comes on one of the busiest travel days of the year. As of this moment (8:30 AM EST), there is no projection on when service will be restored. This inevitably has a ripple effect for all other US airlines as passengers miss connecting flights and fewer airport gates are available. Our thoughts are with all those flight/gate attendants who have to break the bad news and put up with bad attitudes. [Update: the planes are back in the air as of 8:40 AM EST.]

Christmas Eve is usually a pretty quiet news day. That’s not the case this year. I woke up this morning to the news that France has a new government. Global hunger crisis deepens as major nations skimp on aid. Starbucks strike to expand to over 300 US stores on Christmas Eve, union says. Bill Clinton Is Hospitalized After Developing a Fever. There’s a lot more. There always is. For the majority of the 8 billion people inhabiting this planet, this is not a cheerful day. There’s no Peace, very little Hope, and a stark shortage of Love.

I’m not going to pretend that I have a solution because, between you and me, no such thing exists. The number of people on this rock is unsustainable and has been for quite a while now. To address the issues that come with overpopulation, governments take a more authoritarian stance. Authoritarianism, in all its guises, results in the violation of human rights. For example, an Arkansas law that allowed librarians and booksellers to be sued if they let a minor have the ‘wrong’ book, was rightly overturned yesterday. The attempt to ban books is key to the authoritarian way of governing.

People feel as though the world is out of control, yet they keep electing leaders who are only adding to the chaos. The US, France, Germany, Bangladesh, and Sudan are just a few of the places where new governments are likely to make 2025 more miserable than the year we’re finishing. Funny how we never realize the degree to which we participate in our own destruction.

Here in central Indiana, we don’t even get a White Christmas. WTF is up with that?

Here’s what I know: animals don’t judge you. Well, except for horses. Horses judge you because they are born with the realization that they’re better than humans. Horses judge you harshly. Be glad that Santa Claus isn’t a horse; no one would get presents. Other animals fall into two camps, though. Those that want you to leave them the fuck alone, and those who insist that your lap, your computer, or that book you’re reading, are suitable places for them to curl up and get hugs. The second group is the one you want to embrace today. Hug them. Pet them. Give them treats. That is more likely to give you pleasure than anything else you would do today.

The New York Times is touting a new book that comes out today that encourages us to not worry about the decisions other people make. Obviously, I’ve not read the book. I rather doubt that I will. The premise, though, is interesting. If someone wants to stand out in the rain, let them. If someone wants to do something that seems to make no sense to you, let them. “If you stop trying to manage other people’s opinions, actions and moods, then your well-being and relationships will improve. Friends hanging out without you? Let them! Relatives griping about you? Let them! Your date ghosts you? Let them! Don’t stress about what you cannot control; focus on what you can.”

There are limits to such a philosophy. The US president-elect wants to buy Greenland? No, don’t let them. Your four-year-old wants to poop in the middle of the living room floor? No, don’t let them. Your boss is trying to force everyone to work overtime on Christmas Eve? No, don’t let them. We control more than we realize.

Perhaps what needs to happen is that we become more authoritarian over our own lives. No, you don’t get to tell me what to do or what to believe. I am the only one who rules my life. No, I’m not going to play by someone’s misguided laws.

No, that results in anarchy and that doesn’t work either.

Like it or not, we are participants in society. We determine what we allow society to tell us, where we want to plug in, and what we want to avoid. What we do affects our society even if we can’t see it. What happens in our society affects us. This is how it’s been for the past 40,000 years or so. Don’t expect it to change just because you may not like the current accommodations.

If you want to be happy today, then do the things that make you happy! Be with family, eat good food, take long naps, watch movies, eat more food, and take another nap. We can worry about the fallout come January 2.

Perhaps bears have the best idea: store up plenty of fat in advance, bring the family together, everyone sleep as much as you can, feed when you need to, shit in the woods, and when you’re finally refreshed come spring, wreak havoc everywhere you go.

Whichever path you choose, I hope you have an enjoyable Christmas Eve.

Personal

Festivus for the Rest Of Us

December 23, 2024

Airing of Grievances Edition

HAPPY FESTIVUS! Today, this December 23, we are putting special emphasis on the airing of grievances in hopes that a Festivus Miracle makes them all go the fuck away. I know this has been an especially disappointing year for all of us. Airing grievances now, before disapproving relatives are present, allows us to clear the air, look hopelessly toward the new year, and make sure we have appropriate staples for the coming apocalypse. I’ll start, you add your grievances in the comments.

This is my third holiday season on chemo and I’m more discouraged now than I was in the beginning.
I’m still not in an assisted living center and the size of the waiting list is still over 10,000 just for Indiana alone.
Biden can commute the sentences of 37 death row inmates but can’t raise the income limit for people on Social Security. Lame.
Nissan and Honda are merging and I’m afraid they may do away with the only motorized mobility device with true 360-degree movement.
The Pope is opening the Holy Door tomorrow and letting everybody in for the next year. EVERYBODY. In Rome. Don’t come crying to me when something goes boom.

6. This was the year we killed the myth of the amateur athlete. So, can we start getting some decent games?
7. You can’t tell me that the State of Alabama is wholesale involved in the slave trade. Still. They fucking refuse to give it up. Losers.
8. How are we possibly drinking less alcohol? I need to be drinking more!
9. Why can’t I spend the day high? I need a better reality!
10. The whole email situation has gotten totally out of hand.

Mr & Mrs Klaus — MR & MRS KLAUS: THE REAL STORY

11. Fast food is no longer a cheap and tasty alternative.
12. Stop asking what the Founders would think. They’d be horrified by everything we do. Everything.
13. There really needs to be a sugar-free option for fudge.
14. No one is satisfied. Stop asking.
15. What are the odds of Israel bombing Bethlehem (in the West Bank) for Christmas?

SEARCHING FOR THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLACK (AND WHITE)

16. The wrong people are dying. The wrong people are elected to office. There should be a way of evening out those two wrongs.
17. Matt Gaetz is just the tip of the iceberg for all that is wrong in politics.
18. I need an individually oversized portion of sweet potato casserole because I’m the only one in this family who eats it.
19. In a day of instant inventory counts, why are there items on your website that are not in stock when I order them?
20. I still don’t have grandkids.

21. The US still has the worst healthcare system of any country in the developed world.
22. Why can’t cats type?
23. No one gave you the right to fucking harsh anyone else’s buzz.
24. Hugs should be more portable.
25. Coffee should maintain a suitable drinking temperature at all times.

26. Who keeps eating holes in the towels?
27. We would all be happier if everyone else was less stupid.
28. Being healthy shouldn’t be available based on one’s income.
29. Dogs bring more happiness to the world than do babies.
30. AI has no chill.

I could do more, but it’s already mid-morning and I think the dogs want back out. Your turn. Don’t bother being nice.

Cancer Update / Current Issues / Health / Holidays / Morning Update / Personal

Saturday Morning Update: 12/21/24

December 21, 2024

I almost dropped my coffee mug. That’s how today’s going. My left hand is so weak that I can’t lift the full mug with one hand. This is my third consecutive winter holiday season while on chemo. While the blood tests show the cancer in remission, there’s still the need to make sure it stays that way. So, for another year, I’m on the sidelines. No parties. No get-togethers. Hell, I haven’t even been able to get Kat a gift. I feel somewhat like I’m sitting inside a well-refrigerated snow globe, watching the holidays pass around me. They look like fun, but they’re not part of my reality.

The holidays are hitting differently, and by the way, for you ‘war-on-Christmas’ types, Hannukah and Christmas are on the same day this year. If you’re only saying ‘Merry Christmas,’ you’re being rude, possibly anti-Semitic. That being said, how does one gift-wrap a latke? I have potatoes, maybe I’ll give Kat food.

I’m not really in the mood to cook, though. Holiday baking is out of the question. Holiday treats take time, care, and patience. I have none of those traits at the moment. I also don’t have the ingredients. Not enough recipes come with sugar-free options and as much as I’m tempted to say, “It’s the holidays, fuck it,” my sugar levels haven’t been level so over-indulging probably isn’t the smartest move. Still, I’m really jonesing for some good, old-fashioned fudge—all the flavors. And Aunt Bill’s Brown Candy, Talk about a handbreaker! I remember helping Mother make this, it was always my favorite. The amount of work it takes, though, is enormous and if I can’t hold a coffee mug I damn sure don’t need to be messing with a cast iron skillet.

There are silver linings if one chooses to mine them. For example, there’s absolutely zero chance I’m going to be hurt or killed by a vehicle driving into a holiday bazaar. I won’t pull a hamstring while out running in a min-marathon somewhere. I’m not adversely affected by the sudden rise in egg prices. Life could be, and has been, much harder than it is.

Still, if what we’re looking for in this season is Peace on Earth, we’re not likely to find it around here. Get a load of the headlines this morning:

With headlines like that, you know there are too many tears being shed for anyone to have a ‘happy’ holiday. If you are someplace warm, you are fortunate. If you have food, you are well off. If you have clean clothes, you are privileged. If you have coffee, you are comparatively rich.

The plight of immigrants working dangerous food service jobs should probably be getting more attention than it is. We are so woefully ignorant of the millions of jobs filled by immigrants. If we begin deporting them, as the president-elect plans to do, the empty jobs will still be there. Who’s going to fill them? How much are you willing to pay for frozen pizza? People in Oregon are getting letters telling them to snitch on neighbors who ‘might’ be illegal. No, they’re not from any government organization. Snitching on immigrants is lower than cheating on a spouse, in my opinion.

Perhaps some form of holiday spirit will arrive without necessitating a visit from historical specters. I have cats aggressively reminding me that petting them lowers my blood pressure. The dogs are advocating for more naps. Can you wrap a nap? I could be a professional napper at this point. Need a nap? Don’t worry, I’ll take one for you!

Oh, with both Big Lots and Party City announcing that they’re closing, make sure you stock up on the cheap stuff if you can. I have a bad feeling about the future of ‘discount’ stores.

I think that’s enough for today. I hear there are football games running around here and there. Maybe I’ll find one.

Personal

Prepping For Chaos

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Brace For Impact.

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The Holding Of Horses.

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You Can Die If You Want To.

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The World Is Fine Except For People.

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Cancellation.

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Clean Your Brain.

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Never Ending.

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Hot & Cold.

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Destruction & Denial.

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What Am I Supposed To Do Without You?

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Could Be Worse.

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Embracing The Quiet.

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Getting Back To Normal

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The Senselessness Of Existing

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Chemo pill day 766

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Breaking News:

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Airing of Grievances Edition

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