Morning Update: 04/11/24

Morning Update: 04/11/24

April 11, 2024

This Doesn’t Feel Like Home (2020 original with AI background)

Today marks 19 years since I moved from Atlanta to Indianapolis. I’ve lived here longer than anywhere. I have more connections here than anywhere. Yet, there is this eternal, nagging feeling that this is not home. I constantly question whether I’m doing anyone any good by being here. Two weeks in, I knew I had made a horrible mistake, but I was contractually obligated at the time, and by the time that contract was over, I was too broke to move back. That condition has remained the same ever since, and now Atlanta’s changed so much that I can’t see myself returning there. I’m not sure there’s anywhere now where I’m going to feel at home.

There is no way today is a good day. The rain kept me in pain, tossing and turning all night. I’ve had the headache from hell all night but I can’t take more pain meds until after 7:00. I gave up and decided to sit at the desk a little after 4. The dogs started pawing at me around 4:30, but I tried putting them off until at least 6. When they paw, they scratch, and my skin is fragile enough that it bleeds. So, at 5:00 I finally relented and let them out. When we came in, as per routine, I fed them and the cats. If I don’t feed the cats they get loud. Apparently, that was a mistake. The dogs eating woke Kat up and now she’s pissed at me.

The rain will continue to fall all day. My body hasn’t liked rain for years because of the arthritis. In my current condition, all pain levels are elevated. I can’t sleep. Eating is difficult. Walking is difficult. Sitting isn’t comfortable. There’s nothing about this existence that’s going to feel good no matter what I do. I’ve shut the door to the Recovery Room and will do my best to stay away from other people so that I don’t ruin the day for everyone who has to put up with me.

19 years ago, I was contractually obligated to be in Indianapolis on this date. That meant I had to leave on Ben’s 10th birthday. There was a big party going on in his grandparent’s yard when I had to say goodbye. He seemed annoyed that I was interrupting his fun. After all, it was his birthday. There were more important things than Dad leaving, right?

I didn’t get to talk to him yesterday. I messaged him, left him a voicemail, but his life still has too many other things going on. I hear from Ben the least. I’m not sure where he’s working or what’s going on in his personal life. From his perspective, it probably doesn’t matter. It never has. Even when his mom and I first separated, I’d call in the evening and after a couple of weeks Ben told me, “Dad, you know you don’t have to call every night.”

What I did get was a very attractive picture of Gabe, my third in line. His hair is about the same length as mine now, only more full, like mine was when I was young. He turns 26 next week. My leaving hurt him the most. He didn’t understand that I wasn’t coming back for his birthday. The phone call I fielded that afternoon still hurts me today. I wasn’t there for my baby. I should have broken the fucking contract and gone back.

Now, I worry how much I’ll disappoint G and Tipper. I need to find someplace to live where someone can take of me without being stressed, if such a place exists. I’ll be leaving two more kids that I love. Maybe they’ll be like Ben and it won’t bother them that I’m gone, that I won’t be here in the morning or when they get home from school. After all, they have their own friends, do their own thing, spend a lot of time in their rooms on the phone or in games. If I’m lucky, they won’t miss me.

Groceries yesterday totalled a touch over $330 including a 44-pound bag of dog food that I struggled to wrangle into the house. One of the issues with having groceries delivered is that it is only right that the shopper be tipped. A 15% tip on yesterday’s order was just short of $45. I would have rather paid a friend to take me and walk with me as I did the shopping myself. It would have been more productive. 12 items were substituted out of a list of 30. That’s over 30%. I have trouble believing that the only substitute available for frozen french fries was “potato puffs.” When I ask for a frozen family meal, an individual meal is not an adequate substitute. Isn’t that just common sense? Apparently not.

Food items and their costs are only going to get worse. There’s nothing I can do to stop that. Earlier this morning I was reading that more companies are looking for ways to reduce the amount of cocoa in their products, including candy makers such as Mars and Hershey. Global warming and disease are to blame. Resources have diminished so dramatically that it is not sustainable for companies to continue using high-price ingredients even if they raise the price. They know that there’s a limit to how much people are willing to pay for a 2.5-ounce candy bar.

The problem isn’t just with cocoa, though. Last year, coffee prices took a huge jump after supplies ran dangerously low. That’s why you’re paying $6 for a six-ounce cup of your favorite brew. Part of the issue is that competitive alternatives, such as mushroom coffee, still contain bean coffee in some form. By the time you add in the cost of the additional processing, the alternatives cost more than the original, making them not so much of an alternative for anyone who’s on a budget, and who isn’t on a budget? More and more of the things we at are being affected by the weather and the result is we’re paying higher prices at the store.

Of course, it would be insensitive of me to not mention that at least we can get to food. There are still millions upon millions of people around the world for whom food is a pipe dream. They keep hoping for relief and each day their hopes are dashed. The problem isn’t so much a lack of food, but a lack of desire to solve the fucking problem. As I mentioned a couple of days ago, billionaires could eliminate hunger completely by 2030. They just have zero motivation to do so.

There is no sunshine today, only gray. This has taken long enough that I can take more pain meds now. Maybe I’ll be able to sleep. I’m not expecting anything to be any better later in the day, though. Why would it? Life is little more than a string of pain punctuated by disappointment.

Current Issues / Just For Fun / News & Comment

Oh! The Terror!

February 20, 2017

We must do something about the terror that hasn’t happened

The following is satire. You should be able to tell that, but we’re taking this precaution just in case. Some of you have been watching too much Alex Jones, Suzanne.

The Short Version

First Bowling Green. Then Atlanta. And now, Sweden. The rate of non-terrorist activities by non-terrorists has accelerated over the past month to levels so dramatic as to demand a non-response. We must not do something and we must not do that something immediately before the entire world is out of control with non-activities not happening anywhere. The problem is real. Sort of.

Brace Yourself, This Isn’t Pretty

We thought we were safe. Right here, in Middle America, which looks nothing at all like Middle Earth, we thought we were safe. We thought we were protected. We thought we were healthy.

We were wrong. We were misled. We were fooled.

We didn’t know that there are non-terrorist all over the United States. Real people who dare to be non-threatening with their lifestyles. People we pass on the sidewalk every day who might well be on their way to doing something totally harmless and innocent. We never know.

They look like you and me, these non-terrorists. In fact, for all I know, you could be one of them. Are you? Would you tell me if you were? Can I even trust you with this article?

We are now a nation, nay, a world on edge. The incidents reported by the representatives of our White House administration have confirmed the severity of the situation on multiple instances now. The people who haven’t been lost. The crimes that haven’t been committed.

First, there was the Bowling Green Massacre. Oh, the horror! I can hardly bear to type about the tragedy as I sit here with my fourth cup of coffee this morning. Thinking about all that didn’t happen, the lives that weren’t ruined, the families that weren’t torn apart by that horrible, horrible non-incident, causes me to not shudder with fear. Bowling Green is so close to where we live, a mere four hours’ drive away if you don’t get caught in a speed trap just outside Louisville. How could something so non-earth shattering happen right here, right in our own neighbor’s backyard?

Then, not striking another blow to our heart, came the incident in Atlanta. We love Atlanta. We sort of lived there once, but stayed in outlying counties so we wouldn’t have to pay Fulton County taxes. Atlanta is very near and dear to us and it almost broke my heart to hear of the terrible tragedy that didn’t happen there. In fact, I didn’t know several of the people who weren’t killed that fateful night. They were all wonderful people who are now doomed to living wonderful lives all because some madman didn’t do something wicked that fateful night.

And now, just this past weekend, the level of non-terror escalated as it jumped across the not-a-real-pond known as the Atlantic Ocean and invaded Sweden with unseen force. Sweden is such a noble country, with lovely people who have immortalized fish by giving them their country’s name and possibly citizenship. They are endearing and attractive and frequently blonde. How could they ever fall victimless to such an excruciating level of non-terror in just one night? We didn’t want to believe it was true, but there stood our Commander-In-Orange declaring the non-tragedy himself. When the concern over non-terror reaches our nation’s highest office, we have no choice left but to pay attention.

We must guard ourselves against this non-terror. We must protect ourselves from the things that cannot invade us. Our government has proven itself unable to stop these repeated attacks of nothingness. They could happen anywhere. We never know when we ourselves might not become victims of some horrible attack by those evil and wicked non-terrorists. We are every one of us at risk. No one is safe.

What can we do? What should we do? I don’t know that there is anything that can stop this growing reign of non-terror. There are people all around us, every day, and there is no way to tell who might be a non-terrorist and who isn’t. It’s not like they all walk around with “I’m a Republican” bumper stickers on their asses. We don’t have the space to put all the non-terrorists in prison, or send them off to Guantanamo. Their numbers are too many. Non-terrorists have thoroughly infiltrated our society in ways we can’t even begin to imagine.

Still, there are some things we can do to try and minimize the consequences of these non-terroristic activities should they occur in our communities and among our friends and family.

Call these events what they are: non-terror. Don’t try and sugar coat it by saying they were misstatements of alternative facts. We must face the horrible truth that there is non-terror among us or else we can never begin to eradicate it from our lives.
Be vigilant. Look around you. If you think you don’t see something, don’t say something. You never know when your assumption of nothing might be correct.
Beware of Faux News Network. Apparently, based upon reports from the Cheeto-In-Charge, they were the ones who shared inside information of the non-terroristic activity occurring all over Sweden. We suspect they are colluding directly with the non-terrorists in an attempt to beat other news organizations to the scoop on non-terror. The Faux Network looks to become the champions of covering nothing where ever it may occur.
Be careful of what you smoke. I think the former prime minister of Sweden, Carl Bildt, was being very astute when he asked of #45, “What has he been smoking?” It may very well be that smoking certain non-tobacco products might make us more vulnerable to the non-terrorist events and their aftermath. We might be better off if we stick to smoking things that we already know will kill us.
Don’t attack them before they don’t attack us. We have to consider the possibility that we have aggravated this increase in non-terror through our own aggressive actions. We’ve been trying to do something when, in fact, the better approach would be to do nothing. We must become passionate about doing nothing toward everyone who wants to do nothing to us. To help us do more nothing, we should consider removing from office the people who want us to do something, especially stupid somethings like building walls and hating people. Those are the very actions that led more people to commit acts of non-terror.

I cannot sit here and promise you that any of those things will work, though. My vision of a non-terror-free world may be a pipe dream. Non-terror could very well be the new non-reality. There is every chance that our children and grandchildren will grow up thinking that these non-terroristic events are the norm and will not think twice when they or their little friends become victims of non-terror. Oh, what a horrible, horrible world we leave them.

Still, we have an obligation to try. We have to spread the word about non-terror. We must call out non-terrorists on social media. We must confront non-terrorists in places of power where ever they may be.

We cannot afford to be silent. Non-terror has claimed too many non-lives. Speak up now. The world begs this of you. Do not be silent. See those buttons down below this article? Use them.

Photography

Scattered Pictures: A Gallery

February 19, 2017

Found on the digital floor

I never have been the most graceful person on the planet. I trip over nothing, fall over anything, and have an uncanny ability to not see that giant obstruction standing directly in my path. I’ve gone through life with a never-ending array of cuts and bruises on my shins, knees, hips, and elbows. There’s always a sore spot somewhere.

What makes being clumsy especially challenging is what happens when you’re carrying something. How many white shirts did I ruin with a splash of coffee before I learned to stop wearing them? All it would take is one loose thread in the carpet, my foot would find it, and I’d stumble just enough to turn that white shirt brown. The more valuable the thing I was carrying, the more troubling the fall would be.

It doesn’t seem all that long ago when one of the things I would frequently carry were trays of photo slides. Those things never were secure and it never seemed to take much to upend the whole thing and send slides scooting across the floor. There would always be a few that would escape under some random piece of furniture and not found until months later.

Finding those random slides, though, could be exciting, if they weren’t ruined. They would bring back to memory some long-forgotten photo shoot, or a model who we hadn’t seen in years, or stories of some little out-of-the-way place I couldn’t find again. Then would come the challenge of trying to find the rest of the original set and returning the slide to its proper place.

We don’t have those problems with digital files, obviously, but we do have problems of another kind. Namely, I’m really bad about nesting folders and then giving them some bland label that does nothing to tell me what’s nested inside. Only when I’m desperately searching for an image I know exists somewhere in this mess do I occasionally come across those folders and become sidetracked by their contents.

Hence, this week’s gallery. I won’t embarrass myself by saying how far down the nesting chain these were, but it’s been a couple of years since this folder was opened. What’s here are some of my favorites from that collection. There’s no real cohesion, as they were specifically processed to go with specific articles somewhere back in the long ago but not too terribly far, far away. They’re just pictures scattered across the digital floor that we picked up and dusted off for your enjoyment.

As always, clicking on any thumbnail opens the full gallery slideshow.

[tg_masonry_gallery gallery_id=”10897″ layout=”contain” columns=”3″]

Current Issues / News & Comment

Don’t Burn The Toast

January 23, 2017

Butter doesn’t cover the cancer-causing ingredients

The Short Story

Britain’s Food Standards Agency says that starchy foods such as bread, potatoes, and chips, develop a toxic level of Acrylamide when they are cooked too long, ie. burned. The same thing happens to potatoes and parsnips that are kept in the fridge. Cooking the food to a golden yellow, rather than brown, is the safer move. However, the studies done have only included animals, not humans. Proceed at your own risk.

A Little More Detail

Starchy foods contain a lot of sugar, right? And when that sugar is heated above 120°C then it produces the chemical Acrylamide at levels that have shown to be toxic to DNA and cause cancer. No one likes cancer. Cancer kills a lot of people and the last thing anyone wants in their obituary is the line, “She died because someone burned the toast one too many times.” So this is a very, very bad thing.

Maybe.

The lab test have all been done on animals, most of which share a close DNA link to humans. Therefore, it is assumed that the result scientists get in the animals is the same they would get in humans. To be sure, though, they’d have to study the effect on humans. Someone would have to eat a lot of burned toast. Apparently, no one really wants to volunteer for that project, even if it includes a free lunch—of burned toast. So, as of yet, there have not been any tests done on humans. I’m sure you can appreciate why.

However, without the human studies, some scientist say the findings are inconclusive and that burning your toast is probably just fine. Don’t worry about those pesky little carcinogens. The cholesterol from the butter is probably more dangerous.

So, what are we to think?

Here’s the thing: the list of potentially affected foods includes: crisps, bread, breakfast cereals, biscuits, crackers, cakes, and coffee, as a result of the roasted beans.

Wait, COFFEE?? Say it isn’t so! You can take my toast, but you CANNOT take my coffee!

The current recommendation is that you just don’t burn anything, or get it too crispy. That would imply going with more moderate to mild coffee blends as well. That rather sucks for those who like a bold coffee first thing in the morning. Still, I guess that’s better than getting cancer. Barely.

Art / Editorial / Fashion / Photography

Rain Delay: A Gallery

January 15, 2017

Our first editorial shoot of the year didn’t go as planned

Model: Cassie Kerns
Hair & Makeup: Kat

Hey, look! A brand new gallery with brand new pictures! How long has it been since we did that? Uhm, a long time. And this one almost didn’t happen, either. The weather this week sucked and I woke up Thursday morning wondering if I could even hold the camera. The first thing I did was pull the camera from the bag to see if I could keep it steady. I could, but it hurt like hell. The thought of canceling crossed my mind. A year ago, I would have. I really needed to shoot, though. I needed the chance to be expressive. Plus, I didn’t want to let everyone down.

Our original plan was to shoot most of this set outdoors. I’ve not shot much outside the past two years and was really anxious to get in some winter shots, even without the snow and with all the grey clouds. I knew I could make that work. That wasn’t going to happen, though. As we prepped for the second look, the rain that had been a mild annoyance whipped itself up into a major problem. Wind blew a hard, cold rain sideways. Our outdoor plans flew away. I was pissed. I really wanted those outdoor shots more than anything. I struggled to keep any sense of composure as I mentally re-worked the concepts for the limited conditions.

We continued shooting, Cassie and Kat keeping a positive, professional attitude despite the lack of space and forced changes in concept. My hands felt like they were on fire as I held the camera. Cassie was wonderful, even finding a way to sit in the window when there really wasn’t any place to sit in the window. We worked through the last two looks and I felt certain we had some strong images. I was hoping that I wouldn’t open them to find them blurred by a trembling hand. I kicked myself for not pulling out the tripod.

Much to my delight, the number of blurred shots was minimal. In fact, curating this set was quite challenging. Cassie’s experience as both a model and an artist comes through quite strongly and I was pleased with how Kat’s makeup communicated just as well in black and white as it did in color. There are more images we’ll save for a later day.

What we have today are the images that appealed to me on first pass. That’s not to say there aren’t others that might end up being stronger, but these are the ones that shouted at me as I poured over the RAW images. I’ve divided the four looks into six visual sets of five images each. These include the teaser images we released earlier.

The first two sets are fashion editorials based loosely on concepts and styling from Unconditional vol. 4 Winter and Poland’s K Mag No. 85. The changing background color represents the versatility of the trench coat, something that has become a fashion staple regardless of the season. The high-waisted slacks are a more of a fashion argument, a continual theme that designers explore then drop, perfect for that blank expression so popular in Europe.

Stretch and Hold is the concept enveloping the second two sets. Our purpose here is two-fold. First, it’s a muscle study with an emphasis on the obliques, upper trapezius, serratus anterior, deltoids, sternocleidomastoid, and anterior scalene muscles under the stress of holding a stretched pose. Those are best seen in the black and white images. Second, the stretched deltoids and latissimus dorsi muscles gave us a good opportunity to highlight the beautiful artwork on Cassie’s back and sides. The muscles pulling upward give us an especially good look at the details of the center artwork.

I Am Real is a set of five portraits based on the tattoo on the inside of Cassie’s left arm. The struggle to be real, to be one’s self, is one with which a lot of people can identify. Full of emotion, we struggle to create individuality, pulling ourselves from the amber haze of social nomenclatures and fighting to find clarity and focus amidst insecurity and uncertainty. Cassie does a wonderful job of giving physical embodiment to emotions many have difficulty expressing.

Rain Delay is the title set and I think everyone’s favorite. There is a peacefulness to sitting in the window wrapped in the softness of a cable knit sweater while sipping a hot beverage (coffee, in this case). The wind and rain has subsided a bit at this point, but the raindrops clung to the window as a reminder of the contrast between the harshness of the outdoors and the comfort of being inside. Thoughtful and contemplative, these images capture a warmth and beauty we all want for our winter’s survival.

I hope you’ll take your time going through the 30 images below. If you click on any of the photos, the display transitions to a slideshow for easier viewing of the individual photos.

Our tremendous thanks to Cassie and Kat for their incredible effort and help in making these images possible. I’m still hoping we get to do those outdoor shots, somewhere, somehow, very soon.

[tg_masonry_gallery gallery_id=”9518″ layout=”contain” columns=”3″]

Art / Photography / PotD / studio nudes

On A Rainy Morning: Mini Gallery

January 12, 2017

charles i. letbetter - on a rainy morning

Just a sample of what’s coming

Model: Cassie Kerns
Hair/Makeup: Kat

Click on any image below to view a larger version

[tg_masonry_gallery gallery_id=”9481″ layout=”contain” columns=”2″]

Look for more in our full gallery this Sunday

Art / Photography / PotD

What It Means To Be A Muse In 2017

January 6, 2017

A muse today is different than 10 years ago

muse¹

[myo͞oz] NOUN

(Muse)

(in Greek and Roman mythology) each of nine goddesses, the daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne, who preside over the arts and sciences.

2. muse

a. A guiding spirit.

b. A source of inspiration: the lover who was the painter’s muse.

Who needs a muse? Not everyone, for sure. If one is a photojournalist one need’s a keen sixth sense to know what to shoot and when to get the hell out of a situation. If one is a portrait artist, one needs a good light setup. If one is an editorial photographer one needs a strong perception of the details in everyday life. There are plenty of creative endeavors that have no call at all for a muse.

Artistic photography is one of those genres, though, where having someone consistent, someone on whom a photographer can depend, really can make a lot of difference. I base this not only on my own experience, but what I hear from other photographers as well. While we enjoy working with several different models, having that one person, or, if you’re lucky, maybe two people, around who you can shape and build concepts and ideas is invaluable.

The requirements for that role, however, have changed over the years. At least, they have for me. For example, as inspirational as Kat is for me and as encouraging as she constantly is, you might have noticed that we took only one set of pictures of her last year, and that was while we were on vacation. The myriad demands on Kat’s time and energy leaves her without the space necessary to be a muse. She simply cannot fill that role, no matter how much I love her.

At the same time, I can no longer wait around for someone to have some spare time, or drop by at any random time of day, or call me up in the middle of the night. Those were all former options that made it easy to accommodate a muse. However, as my life and work have transitioned, that level of randomness no longer works for me. A lot has changed. What I want and need from a muse has changed. I don’t know if these guidelines necessarily apply to anyone else, but I think they make a good foundation. Every artist and photographer is going to have their own modifications to this list, but take a look and consider whether you might be someone’s answer to a serious need.

A muse doesn’t need to look like a goddess

In the past, there was always a lot of emphasis on the person in the picture being pretty. That requirement, generally speaking, is gone. For me at least, what is more important is that the model is genuine, open, and capable of revealing her true nature and personality to the camera. I’m not looking to create a fantasy. I’m not telling a fairy tale. Instead, I’m expressing a perspective of reality. I need a muse that is real and not faking it for the camera.

This means that I’m open to models who are not 19 years old, whose bodies show the wear and tear of real life. I’m open to a muse who has physical limitations, someone who has to work within given parameters and has strict limitations. Those challenges can actually aid inspiration because it challenges us to find a way to be expressive within that box while simultaneously creating something outside the normal concept of artistic figure work.

I also feel that we are at a point in our society where beauty does not always deliver the message we want. Beauty often equals conformity and there are few instances where anything artistic should be conformist. There is such a thing as being too beautiful for certain types of artwork. A muse today can be the ordinary person who simply wants to become a part of art. Those works can be every bit as moving as anything else we’ve ever created. One just has to be willing to try.

A muse doesn’t have to be a model

Historically, there have been advantages to having experienced models as muses. They understood posing. They knew from which angles their bodies look best. They understood the processes behind a photo shoot. Those were all valuable qualities to have and I’m still certainly not opposed to working with experienced people. There are times where experience is a must. However, experienced models don’t always make the best muses for a number of reasons.

A muse needs to be able to work with and capture the creative mind of a specific artist, not an entire audience of fans. Experienced models today come with large numbers of Instagram followers demanding to be fed new images on a regular basis. Models have obligations to maintain an image on social media that might be contrary to what the artist is wanting to achieve. A muse needs to be more like a blank slate without the external influence of someone else’s expectations.

Experienced models also tend to impose their own perspective over the top of the artist. The photographer suggests a specific pose, for example, and the model is reluctant because it might show belly rolls or expose cellulite or make her hips look big. Sorry, that just doesn’t work anymore. Imperfections, the natural ways in which our bodies respond to sitting or lying in certain positions, are expressions we don’t want to avoid. Working with a muse who doesn’t mind if her stretch marks show or her face is a bit wrinkled is wonderful. Act how you are, not how you think someone else wants you to be.

Muses allow an artist to plan

It’s one thing to have a concept for a photo shoot and then cast a model to fit that concept. Quite different is the experience of having a muse around which you can mold, shape, and most importantly, plan a shoot. Knowing exactly the face and the body with which one will be working allows the artist to plan deeper, to think in greater detail, and to create in ways that are more precise, even when the product being created is abstract.

A problem many of us have had before is that too many would-be muses wanted to know exactly what we were doing before they would agree to do the shoot. There is some validity in that if the model/muse has safety concerns or doesn’t know the photographer/artist well. There have been too many instances where one is asked to just show up with a bag full and clothes and wing it. That approach is not only unprofessional, it is unacceptable in the current social reality.

What we need from a muse today, though, is someone who does not dictate the concept, but rather inspires it and works with a photographer to create something wonderful. The photographer might ask their muse, “How long can you stand on one foot?” The muse wouldn’t challenge why they were being asked to stand on one foot, but would know on which foot they can stand the longest. And yes, that can make a difference. Being able to plan for the peculiarities of a muse makes the end result better and the overall process run smooth.

Muses understand the intersection of life and art

Now, more than ever I think, people look at artistic photographs and expect them to say something about life. Figure studies that play with concepts of light and shadow fall flat on today’s audience that has already seen just about every permutation of shadow manipulation possible. While that doesn’t mean light and shadow work isn’t still valid, what it tells us is that we do well to consider placing those studies within the broader concept that envelopes some condition of life.

This affects who one chooses as a muse because some models are so dramatically disconnected from normal life that it is impossible for them to present an image of the human condition. We need muses with whom not only the photographer can relate but the potential audience as well. We need muses who help keep both us and our work real. We need muses who are grounded in what it means to be alive in 2017.

At the same time, though, those same muses need to appreciate how art intersects life, that there are moments of beauty in the things we do that are mundane and ordinary, that expressing our emotions in careful and planned outbursts can deliver powerful images, and that fragility and vulnerability is a level of beauty all its own. A modern muse is aware of how the image they portray can affect society and plays to that artistic reality.

Muses find synchronization with an artist

I have enjoyed working with several people over the years who acted as wonderful muses for a great wealth of work. Those with whom I’ve done the best, though, have always been the ones with whom there is a natural, unspoken, synchronization; a mutual agreement in the way we view life, art, love, and freedom. As I look at what is required of artists today, I find that achieving that synchronization with a muse is all the more important.

This is one of those places where it’s the little things that matter. For example, I don’t think I could work with a muse right now if they didn’t drink coffee. Caffeine not only affects our energy level, coffee specifically puts us in a unique emotional space that is not achievable with other caffeinated drinks. I need a muse who can sit down and have a cup of coffee with me before we ever think about taking any pictures. If a model can’t meet me on that specific emotional wavelength we’re not going to do as well as we might.

Interpersonal synchronization is difficult to describe because it’s going to be different for everyone. Sometimes it’s knowing that a specific time of day works best for you both. Other times it’s the silly things like the way you both cross your legs or enjoy listening to the same kind of music. Synchronization is personalized for every artist and muse and no two muses are likely to synch on exactly the same things. One has to wait for it and let it happen.

Muses understand the risks

I can’t begin to tell you the number of times over the past 30 years where models have gotten upset because we didn’t deliver as many finished photos as they expected, or the outcome was different from what they anticipated. There have been times where, even after letting a set sit for several days, I couldn’t find anything to my liking. Understand, that is almost never the model’s fault. Some days I don’t feel well and my perspective is off. On other occasions, I may not have planned well enough or perhaps even forgot a necessary piece of equipment that prevented me from getting the shots I wanted.

More than ever, I need a muse that understands those risks. Not every concept is going to be a good one, no matter how much planning we might put into it. Work with me long and often enough and there will be those times where I fail to anticipate consequences, such as the taco seasoning that didn’t wash off or the drink mix that burned sensitive skin. When one works with an artist on a regular basis these things are going to happen.

This is one of the defining differences between a model and a muse. Models get pissed when things happen, especially if it turns their skin orange for the next two weeks. Muses understand and find a way to work it in to their life story. Muses enjoy the adventures that come from working with an artist, even if those adventures sometimes don’t come out exactly as we planned.

Muses know the work isn’t about them

One of my greatest frustrations is when we spend hours giving a set of photos a particular artistic look and/or perspective only to have the model say, “You did a good job, but I just don’t like the way I look in them.” This is the artistic equivalent of, “it’s not you, it’s me.” In a single statement, the model destroys the work of the artist and makes the whole issue about them. I can’t think of many statements that drive an artist mad any quicker than that one.

We need muses that understand that the work we’re producing is not about them at all. How they look in a painting or a photograph needs to respond to the overall theme of the image, not some personal vanity that makes them feel good about themselves. The sum of the image is greater than any of its individual parts. That’s why we select certain poses and facial expressions while leaving others alone. And yes, it’s going to differ dramatically from one artist to another. There is no gold standard in art that says we have to portray someone with flawless skin or a perfect body. If anything, art prefers exactly the opposite.

We need muses who are willing to become a part of the art, who understand that they are giving themselves to something greater, to a concept that is larger than the individual. Artistic imagery today cannot be flat and singular. As we’ve discussed already, contemporary artistic imagery has to express life and explore the whole of reality, not merely a pleasant looking portrait of a pleasant looking person.

Muses are flexible

No, we’re not talking about physical capabilities, though sometimes those qualities, too, are advantageous. When I ask a model to be flexible, I’m thinking that one needs to be open-minded about what we’re doing, the message we’re attempting to make, and the social impact of what that message might be. This can be really challenging for the would-be muse, even if they’re clicking on every other level with the artist.

Here’s the thing: sometimes art demands that we shout in order to be heard. If we oppose something that is taking place in society, it is not enough that we create an image that calmly says, “I disagree with that.” No one pays attention to those images. Instead, we have to look for ways of expressing our disdain that is dramatic, different, and even shocking. For the muse, that might mean asking them to do something they normally wouldn’t consider doing. We need them to be flexible.

For example, let’s say that I was considering doing a piece protesting men’s involvement in attempting to dictate a woman’s reproductive rights. I might think of a concept that involves the proper medical use of a speculum. There’s no way in hell that image is going to be considered safe for work, is it? Just thinking about it makes me a little uncomfortable. That wouldn’t be a “fun” set of pictures for me to take. Yet, the message resulting from those images would undoubtedly make a point. We need muses who are flexible reaching outside their comfort zone for the sake of the art.

Muses don’t last forever

There have been times in my career where I could repeatedly call upon the same muse time after time, even with long periods of not seeing each other, and still produce wonderful results. Given the state of my life and that of society in general in 2017, I’m not sure that is even remotely a reasonable expectation anymore. What I’m seeing today is a situation where lives don’t just gradually morph from one stage to the next, they leap and jump, sometimes violently, across disparate and unexpected conditions. Life in 2017 is more fluid, more open to immediate change and that renders one’s longevity as a muse much shorter than we might like.

It is no one’s fault when what was once a creative and thriving relationship between artist and muse suddenly becomes impossible to maintain because of changes in either life. A muse’s life is suddenly skewed by the need to stay home and take care of a parent radically disabled in a car accident. A painter wakes up one morning to quite unexpectedly find they can no longer hold a paintbrush. A job offer half-way around the world suddenly alters one’s career choices. These things are a reality of our lives and sometimes we have to bid goodbye to people and things we love in order to do the things that are better.

Letting go of a gifted and talented muse isn’t easy. I’ve cried more than once. Yet, no muse lasts forever. We don’t want them to. Artists must change as well and if we latch on to a muse and never let them go then we eliminate at least some of the opportunity for us to grow and explore new forms of creativity. Muses speak to a specific period in our lives and leave behind a record of what was important to us both individually and socially at that time. Then, like starting a new book in a series, we open a new cover, find blank pages, and start to fill them with new images.

We may not all need a muse, but when we are lucky enough to find them they do wonderful and amazing things for our work. Perhaps you might think of the artists you know and whether you might risk being a muse. Perhaps a trial run, posing for something simple or even silly, might be a good first step. Being a muse is a special relationship and one should take care to connect with an artist whose vision is complimentary to their own. Be sure, every second one spends working with an artist is a special moment that the rest of the world should envy, and being a muse, even for a short while, is a very special calling indeed.

pop culture

10 Things Mom Forgot To Tell You

January 5, 2017

charles i. letbetter - things mom forgot

Moms are human, too

Moms are great. Moms are a fountain of knowledge. We get a lot of our basic information about life and the world around us from our parents. We trust what they say and are woefully disappointed on the rare occasion they happened to be wrong.

Our parents do their best to equip us with everything we need to be responsible and functional adults. However, they know so much about life that they sometimes forget to fill us in some of the finer points. Sure, they make sure we understand the big stuff, but the itty bitty details sometimes are lost. Don’t blame them, it’s not their fault. There’s a lot to know and its not like anyone gives them a checklist.

So, in the interest of helping out everyone’s parents just a little bit, here are a few things that might have escaped their attention before you went out on your own.

That isn’t chicken in that nugget

Desperate parents do desperate things and sooner or later we’re all desperate parents. So, don’t judge that frazzled looking mom sitting in the drive-thru or picking up that blue box that claims to have cheese in with the tiny little macaroni pieces. Processed food exists for one reason only: to make the lives of parents easier. So no, there is no real chicken in the nuggets or cheese in the mac and that’s not really anything resembling meat on that frozen pizza. That’s okay, though. You survived. Your kids will survive, too. Just try to give them a home cooked meal every once in a while.

No one notices your underwear when you’re in an accident

It’s a necessary lie parents tell us when we’re little to make sure we’re actually wearing clean underwear. If you’ve had children, you understand the problem and have probably repeated the lie. The fact is, however, if you’re in an accident that is serious enough for someone to see your underpants, then underpants are the last thing anyone is worried about. I mean, you’ve lost your pants for any number of horrible reasons, you’re probably bleeding profusely, and you could possibly die. No one cares about your damn underwear. If you’re just going to the doctor for a checkup, though, then yeah, by all means, wear something clean or buy something new.

You don’t have to be nice to everyone

Parents do their best to raise friendly, well-adjusted people. Despite their best efforts, though, not everyone in the world is nice. When we encounter people who are not nice, we are not obligated to be nice back. Sure, we want to try a few times, give them the benefit of the doubt. But when someone is consistently an asshole you do not have to be nice. In fact, it is probably better for everyone if you are not nice. One of the primary reasons assholes continue being assholes is because people keep trying to be nice and they take advantage of that. You don’t have to put up with bullshit.

Beware of friends who never read

A little bit of fine tuning: there’s a difference between people who can’t read and people who don’t read. If you have a friend you can’t read, then they need help with that issue more than anything. If you have a friend who is perfectly capable of reading, though, and they don’t, then you have a problem. People who don’t read are ignorant. Their reasoning skills are underdeveloped and their logic is flawed. Even reading fiction improves one’s mental abilities and acumen. Reading not only broadens our mind, but it spurs our imagination so that we are able to expand beyond what is our direct realm of experience. You don’t need friends who are ignorant. They are dangerous. Be careful.

If it costs more than you make in a week, buy the extended warranty

It’s always that question lingering in the back of your mind anytime you’re making a major purchase: do you buy the extended warranty? The old saw is that if you buy the extended warranty you’ll never need it, but if you don’t buy it you’ll wish you had. So, what do you do? The solution is a matter of finances because the ultimate question is whether you can afford to easily replace whatever it is you’re buying. If you’re making a purchase for which you had to save and save, then by all means, buy the damn warranty. If something happens, you’re screwed. You can’t afford to get it fixed or buy a new one. If you’re making a purchase that represents pocket change, however, then maybe it’s not so important. The general rule is that if it costs more than you make it a week, buy the extended warranty. Better safe than sorry.

A good pet is worth the trouble

Some people grow up with pets and learn the responsibility of caring for one. Some don’t. Some go their lives without pets. Some have pets thrust upon thanks to a spouse or lover. Pets can be a lot of work and some of them can be an incredible amount of trouble. They poop where you don’t want them to poop. They eat things you don’t want them to eat. They knock things off tables and shelves and annoy the hell out of guests, especially if one of those guests starts nuzzling up close. Guess what: they’re worth every second of trouble they cause. Sometimes, all we remember are the number of times a parent cursed at or about an animal. What we don’t see are the moments when a pet was curled up in that same parent’s lap. They give soooo much love in little ways that, as children, we never see. Take a chance and feel the love.

It’s okay to be happy when mean people die

Our parents tell us to respect the dead, that people dying is not a good thing. We’re generally taught that we should not rejoice over the death of people we don’t like. Bullshit. As I’m writing this, officials in California are pretty much waiting for convicted murderer Charles Manson to die. When he does, there will be a lot of people who are happy. Not only are nine people dead because of Manson and his “family,” he left behind a wave of influence that was violent and frightening. Him being dead is a good thing that, quite honestly, should have happened a long time ago. Mean people such as Charles Manson don’t deserve our respect. He’s not dead yet, but when he goes feel free to throw a party.

It’s okay to pee in the shower

I know, I know, that flies in the face of everything your mom told you when you were growing up. You know why she told you that? Because it took for freakin’ ever to get you to go in the toilet in the first place. She’s damn sure not going to risk ruining that habit by telling you it’s okay to pee in the shower. Now that you’re an adult, though, you should know that not only is it okay, some people claim it’s actually healthier than peeing in the toilet. It’s cleaner, it’s more hygienic, and it even saves water to boot. There is a limit, though. Only do this when you’re showering alone. Not everyone thinks peeing in the shower is cool and if you’re in there with someone you like a lot you are probably putting that relationship in danger if you pee in front of them. When you’re alone, though, by all means, go for it.

Sex sometimes hurts

Granted, if your parents were anything like mine, sex wasn’t a topic that came up very often. They got through the birds and the bees thing with a certain amount of anxiety. The last thing most of our parents wanted to do, though, was provide any details about sex. They tell you it feels go and can be a lot of fun, but that’s about as detailed as they want to get. The problem is that sex doesn’t always feel good and it isn’t always fun. There are dozens of reasons why sex can hurt, most of which are not life-threatening or even controllable. Not every body provides enough natural lubrication. Stress can cause normal sexual activity to feel painful. It’s not your fault and most the time there are things you can do to change the situation. It happens, though, so be ready for it. Don’t run screaming to the Dr. just because you got into a tight (literally) situation you weren’t expecting.

Cursing is sometimes a very effective form of communication

“That’s an adult word. Don’t say it.” Did your parents ever tell you that? Did your mom ever wash out your mouth with soap? Most parents are very concerned with the language we use growing up. They want us to be respectable adults, not someone people shy away from because they can’t complete a sentence without an expletive or four. For the most part, your parents are right: don’t say those words. They’re rude and often demonstrate a lack of civility and reasoning. However, there are times when cursing is totally acceptable. If you smash a digit with a hammer or in a car door, for example, know one is going to fault you for letting a few fucks fly out of your mouth. If you need to dramatically emphasize to someone just how fucking serious or angry you are, an expletive here and there helps make your point. Most the time, yes, you want to be polite and use words that are not offensive. But every once in a while … go for it.

That’s our short list. We actually have several more things like this in my book, Now That You’re 18 … which you can buy by clicking on that link. If you live close, I’ll even autograph it for you. There are a lot of things parents either don’t have time or don’t think of telling us. It’s okay. We’ll make the same mistakes and probably add to the list. We’re human. Go with it.

Art / Holidays / Photography

Holiday Color: A Gallery

December 25, 2016

A reminder that color can exist in a black and white world

The joys of children at Christmas lasts, at the most, five minutes; just long enough for them to rip through the wrapping paper, tear open their presents, then start hitting each other with the boxes. After that, you want, nay, need a distraction. This is our gift to you.

As depressing as the world is, and as committed as we are to black-and-white imagery this next year, we felt it important on this holiday to remind our friends that color does still exists. There is still joy in the world, even though it most certainly has gone into hiding. Peace probably exists somewhere, though I’m beginning it learned the secret to interstellar travel before the rest of us. There are good things, here and there.

We chose pictures that had not been processed before. You’ve likely seen other images from these sets, but not these. We also looked for images with a different, perhaps silly expression; something one doesn’t normally see in our standard portraits. I dared to select some on white backgrounds, though I don’t really like white backgrounds for portraits because it does really strange things to the amber channel.

Holidays do strange things to our senses, as well. We lose many of them. We remember those two or three minutes of joy and then choose to completely forget the rest of the chaos so that we can tell everyone that we’ve had a good holiday. The truth is, for most of us, that holidays fall into one of three categories: a stress, a pain, or a bore. Distractions that can take one’s mind off the reality are welcome.

So, here’s your break. Our gift to you. You’re welcome.

[tg_masonry_gallery gallery_id=”8977″ layout=”contain” columns=”2″]

Holidays / PotD

Snarking Up The Holidays

December 16, 2016

Because holidays aren’t fun if you play them straight

There is so much going on in the world today that makes it almost seem wrong to feel happy or even smile. There’s the election results, the possibility of a Russian intrusion into our system, the upside down, nonsensical manner in which cabinet members are being selected, the whining and the crying over Facebook’s take on fake news, and just an incredible amount of stupidity on the part of far too many people.

This has been a rough year, no doubt about it. As a result, I think there’s plenty of room to be a bit snarky about the holidays. If one has any Grinch tendencies, now’s the time to let them all out, get them aired and out of the way and then everyone can go on with their lives. Maybe if we let the snark out a bit, we might actually feel a little better because one of the less joyous emotions about this time of year is everyone is so freakin’ busy with their shopping and gift wrapping that they don’t actually listen to why you’re saying unless you stomp your feet and shout a little bit.

So, we’re going to go full snark for a little bit and just air some of our grievances about the whole holiday season. I’m putting on my green Grinch suit and hooking the little lost dog up to a sled with the demand he pulls me to the nearest Chinese buffet. It’s time we cleared the air about a few things.

What’s the deal?

Why the fuck is everyone taking a full two-week vacation this year? Late night talk show hosts are wishing everyone a Merry Christmas tonight and won’t be back until January 2 or 3. Most network series have already gone on hiatus for the month unless their ratings need the boost from being the only fresh thing still on television. Companies were all having their holiday parties this week so that no one would be left out. There are even some smaller shops in the local area who posted notices they’ll be closed starting the 19th. What the fuck? Since when did everyone get a two-week break?

Of course, this goes along with the typically inconvenient break kids get from school. Back when I was a kid and we walked across mountains that no longer exist, we didn’t get out for winter break until the 22nd or 23rd of December, depending on what day of the week Christmas actually hit. We were still back on January 2, too. School didn’t let out for just any willy-nilly reason because our parents worked, dammit. They didn’t have time to stay home and take care of our rambunctious asses. That’s probably a good thing, too, because I’m pretty sure that if they had we’d have gone back to school missing a few classmates. Our parents took capital punishment seriously.

The last two weeks of the year are always lousy if you want to actually get anything done at work, too. I remember when I was still considered a rookie and was too poor to take any time off work. Trying to get anything done was impossible. Half the people necessary to sign off on anything were gone until the first of the year. We’d have our weekly department meeting and only three out of 27 of us would be there. And good luck trying to find a model this time of year. The agencies would just laugh when we called. I don’t see how companies don’t go bankrupt with no one getting any actual work done.

None of this makes any sense

I would still like to know who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to put the biggest holiday of the year right smack in the middle of the most inhospitable and contrary weather we have. My guess is it was someone down under where they’re having a nice, cozy summer right about now because a holiday in December makes absolutely no freakin’ sense in the Northern hemisphere. I mean, have you looked outside recently? If you live in the Northern United States, all you see is white and cold. Folks in the state of Maine are looking at temperatures this weekend that could reach -40°! No one wants to get out and go shopping in that kind of weather, and I don’t care how much they’re getting paid, the guys at UPS don’t want to be out there delivering your online orders, either. Having a major holiday that involves traveling and being outside for any reason in the middle of winter is just fucking stupid.

Besides, everyone knows Jesus wasn’t born on December 25. Let’s just stop perpetuating that stupid little myth.

Which brings us to another major annoyance I happen to have. People get all upset about the “war on Christmas” when Christmas is actually a war on Solstice celebrations. Facts are facts, folks, and there are more than enough documents to support me in this. Early Christians flat out stole the Christmas tree, putting candles or lights on said tree, the concept of gift giving, wrapping paper, and even that whole story about some fat guy in a red suit. Every last one of those ideas was stolen from pagans. There’s absolutely nothing genuinely Christian about Christmas, so stop getting so fucking upset if someone says “Happy Holidays” or if the decorations on your coffee cup aren’t too your liking. There is no fucking war on Christmas. The war is in Syria and they don’t have time for Christmas because all the children are dead now, thank you.

Don’t think you’re any better with Islamic or Jewish traditions either. Our Jewish friends are all about celebrating Hanukkah for eight days. They’ve made a party around some slow-burning oil in the middle of a relatively minor skirmish in the middle of a war they actually lost. Yeah, that really sounds like something to celebrate. Meanwhile, Muslims celebrate the birthday of their prophet on Monday, the 19th, assuming they’re paying attention. You see, they use some strange system where the prophet’s birthday never falls on the same day each year. Last year, it was back in the middle of summer, which makes a helluva lot more sense anyway. And they can’t say his name nor depict his likeness without getting into trouble, which makes greeting cards and singing Happy Birthday a little more than awkward.

Have I insulted enough people yet? No? Okay, I’ll continue.

‘Tis The Season To Be Greedy

I’m not so sure but maybe it’s time to revise the whole Santa Claus story. After all, for far too many people in America, the very concept of a fat white guy entering their house in the middle of the night is not a good omen. Shit’s going to go down and it’s not going to be pretty, elves or not. Maybe if Santa took the form of your kind but lonely uncle who never married and spends most of the holidays quietly drinking eggnog in the corner. I mean, we want him to be a kind and familiar figure, but we don’t want to really get all that close to him.

And what the fuck is up with setting children on his lap? Are we trying to encourage pedophilia or what? Stick with the letter writing. More kids need to learn to write letters, anyway. In today’s digital world, there are far too many kids who have absolutely no freakin’ clue what a stamp and envelope even is. Hell, they see a mail carrier and think they’re just a Fed Ex person who lost their truck. Now that I think about it, why don’t we make Santa Claus more like mail carriers: a nice, friendly, gender-neutral person who delivers packages and maces your dog. That sounds entirely workable to me. The damn dog needs to learn to stop charging the fence.

We need to stop encouraging kids to be so damn greedy, too. Why? Because look what they grow into: people like you and me. People who think the world owes them something just for being nice. You know damn good and well that’s a pile of bullshit. The world doesn’t owe anyone anything, and you’re certainly not going to get presents from someone who doesn’t know you.

Besides, the kids aren’t that good anyway. Have you seen kids today? They talk back to their parents as though they had some right to open their damn little mouths. Kids start bullying each other and calling each other names all the way down in preschool. Why are we rewarding that kind of behavior? Maybe if we actually gave more kids lumps of coal and then made them burn it to keep warm they might appreciate just how nice they have it, living in a structure with a solid roof and someone putting clean clothes on their little bodies every morning.

One last thing: Why is no one capable of writing a decent holiday song anymore? I keep hearing these new Christmas songs and every one of them is a complete piece of crap that no one wants to remember two minutes after it’s over. All the good holiday songs are older than I am: White Christmas, Chestnuts roasting o’er an open fire (The Christmas song), Rudolph, Winter Wonderland, Sleigh Ride, and even the ultra-creep Baby, It’s Cold Outside. All of those songs are at least half a century old and we’re getting rather tired of hearing them. Yet, no one seems to be capable of writing a decent holiday song. Grammy awards be damned, if no one remembers your song 12 months later, it was a piece of shit.

Let’s get real: our parents coddled us too much and we grew up into a big bunch of selfish, greedy bastards who deny science and think that electing an utter moron as president is a good idea. That’s right, Trump became president all because our parents were too soft on us during the holidays. This whole freakin’ year is your fault and no one deserves to get a damn thing in their stockings except holes.

There, I think that’s everything. Well, the big things, at least. I’m done snarking up the holidays. Feel free to let me know if I missed anything, though. We still have a couple of days before the first holiday hits. I’d hate to think I missed insulting someone. Everyone benefits from a snowball upside the head occasionally.

Happy fucking holidays.

Art / Current Issues / Photography

Let’s All Get Upset About Coffee Cups

November 4, 2016

charles i. letbetter - wrap your coffee in this

Once again, the moronic among us are upset about Starbuck’s new coffee cups.

So, we created some sleeves of our own to put over our paper cups this holiday season.

Seriously, aren’t there some really important things to worry about? Read about the controversy here.

Photography / PotD

Photography Nightmares: What We’re Really Thinking

October 22, 2016

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don’t worry it’s not the end of the world. —Jay London

Photographers love most of our clients, but the nightmares come when unreasonable requests are made

We like you. We really, really like you. Photographers love their clients, especially repeat clients who keep coming back for portraits or other special imagery. We love clients who understand the value of what we do, who don’t keep needling us when it takes longer than expected to finish their pictures, and especially the ones who tell their friends that they need to use us as well. These are the people for whom we might consider bending the rules every once in a while, and for whom we’ll at least consider their more outrageous requests.

Then, there are the nightmares. These are the clients who are never satisfied with their pictures, the ones who question your quality, whether you even know what you’re doing, and claim that their four-year-old could do better. We stay up at night fearing the client who trashes us to their friends, but then comes back again and has the audacity to ask for a discount or special service that you don’t normally offer. These are not nice people.

Yet, as professionals, we are supposed to take the nightmares with a grain of salt, keep a smile on our face, and attempt to say no to their requests while re-directing them back to our stated policies. I was amused earlier this week when a sponsored article popped up in my Facebook newsfeed offering a chart with answers to the most common objections photographers face. The chart was created by Joy Vertz, a portrait photographer based in Mequon, Wisconsin. The advice she gives is solid. However …

What We Say Isn’t Always What We’re Thinking

Ms. Vertz is one of those lovely, positive, go-get-’em people who doesn’t take no for an answer. She smiles, redirects, restates, and closes the sale. She’s successful both in terms of her own photography business and also with helping other photographers who are struggling. I’ve never met her, but I’m sure she’s a wonderfully nice person who could sell a block of ice to a resident of the South Pole. Some people just have that right attitude for selling.

The rest of us, however, struggle with closing sales. Not all of us are natural-born salespeople. In fact, the more creative we are, the more difficult it can be for us to function in a business capacity. We work best when someone else handles all the sales closing stuff, leaving us to take the pictures and be creative and occasionally do some really amazing work. Dealing with anyone who is the slightest bit contrarian isn’t our strong point.

As I was reading through Ms. Vertz’s list of objections, I couldn’t help thinking, “Yes, that’s what you should say, but that’s not what I would be thinking.” I’m one of those people who does better when Kat closes the sale. She’s friendly, cheerful, and can keep a smile on her face even when talking to a complete idiot. I can’t. Stupid people make me want to throw things. So, I thought it might be fun, since it’s Saturday and if you’re reading this after 8:00 AM you’re probably not out shooting today, to consider what we would actually like to say to clients who cause us nightmares. The objections come from Ms. Vertz’s list. I don’t have time to address them all, but this should be enough to make my point.

You are too expensive. I can’t afford you.

Wrong. You don’t want to pay me for the value of my work. You want a discount. You always want a discount. Yet, you’ll pay $8 for that freakin’ latte you’re holding. You down what, three of those a day? I’m not too expensive, you just have really lousy priorities, are selfish, and fail to value anyone in the service industries. Go away. I don’t have time for you.

I just want a disk of images

Why? Because you want to share them online (which is fine if you’ve paid for the disc) or because you want to take them to the drug store and get really crappy prints instead of paying my prices? Or even worse, you’re not going to try printing them on your home inkjet, are you? After I’ve spent hours getting the tonal and color quality of your images just right, you’re going to ruin them by printing on some non-calibrated crappy little no-name printer you picked up at a garage sale? And then you’ll complain because the pictures don’t “look right.” Please.

Just put them online for us to look at

Damn, you’re lazy. If you think I’m going to wait around for months while you do everything but choose your proofs, you’re crazy. Make a decision already. Chances are you’re going to go with your first choice, anyway. Better yet, let me decide for you. You’re too distracted to pay attention to what you’re doing. You’re giving me a headache.

[By the way, Joy’s answer to this one is spot on: To have an online gallery is $500 which applies 100% to your order placed within 1 week. It is $25 for each additional week. ]

What is the cheapest way I can get an image for Facebook?

Take a fucking selfie like everyone else? Pay for a session and we’ll happily give you permission to use the finished photos online with appropriate credit. Re-edit the picture or fail to give credit, though, and I’m SO going to bitch. Okay, not really, but I’ll think bad thoughts about you and complain about you to my dog.

Can I see all the photos?

Uhm, no. Part of my job is to make you look good. You know, remove the blemishes from things like really bad acne, or removing those horrid dark circles from under your eyes because you don’t sleep, eat horribly, smoke like a fucking chimney, and drink three bottles of wine a night. You come here wanting me to make you look flawless and glamorous like a model. So no, I’m not showing you all the photos.

You don’t mind that I brought all of our cousins along, do you?

Uhm, YES! First of all, pull those kids off the props. This is not a fucking playground. Do I look like someone who has the patience of a preschool teacher? You do realize there’s no way I’m getting five toddlers all looking in the same direction at the same time, even if I had a puppy. I’m going to need half a bottle of scotch after we finish this one and you had damn well better buy the largest package we offer. Your child just peed on my carpet. I hate you.

We really love our clients.

Of course, we would never actually say any of those things to anyone’s face. We do our best to be polite and nice and not curse too much in front of children. At least two-thirds of our clients are really wonderful people. We enjoy working with them. However, we keep having nightmares. Every photographer I know has nightmares.

If you look on our home page, where we describe our services, we provide the instruction: Please be sure to communicate your needs fully to avoid any surprises. One of those surprises is that we will charge an additional fee to clients who are especially difficult. If someone is going to be a complete pain-in-the-ass, they’re going to pay for that experience.

Now you know what we’re thinking. Be a good client, not a nightmare. Thank you.

PotD / Status

Making The Most Out Of Humpday

October 5, 2016

You don’t have to have a hard-on to bungee jump.—Andrew in Humpday (2009)

charles i. letbetter - Making the best out of humpday

Wednesday, aka Humpday, is a marker: your week is half done. You are going to make it.

I have had a Nina Simone song stuck in my head the past few days and it won’t leave. I step outside, look up, and it’s there:

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by you know how I feel.

It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me yeah
… And I’m feeling good.

It really is a lovely song, but when you look up and realize that those birds you see flying up there are actually turkey vultures, then you get a slightly uncomfortable feeling that maybe we’re not feeling so good after all.

Happy Humpday. This is the last day of Paris Fashion Week. We’ve already reviewed the new Louis Vuitton collection this morning, which was rather cool. Only one more to go and we’re done until February. We can do this, right?

Oh, wait, the kids are home for fall break. There’s no napping today. Instead, we’ll have to do something creative like bake cookies or draw pictures. They helped me make peach cobbler yesterday, which didn’t go too badly. The results were edible. Fighting over who gets to measure the next ingredient gets a bit tiresome, though. Maybe I can convince them to take a long walk.

I don’t mean that as evil as it sounds.

How do we make the most out of Humpday? I know Kat’s struggling, too. Wednesdays can be really rough. We’re still too far from the weekend. Additional stimulus is necessary if we’re going to avoid killing someone. What ever shall we do?

A Little Bit Of Day Music

How anyone makes it through a Humpday without music I don’t know. When we hit this point in the week it takes some serious sounds to keep me moving. Does it really matter if I dance like a one-legged ostrich? No, not at all. We need some serious sounds in our lives to keep us going. Here are a few suggestions:

Yeah, you know I had to slip that last one in there. It really is a cool song. Just try to not think about the vultures.

A Little Light Reading

You know how Wednesdays can be, sometimes you need to just step away before things get violent. The problem is that you really don’t have the time to get immersed in a good book. Someone has to do all the work that no one else is touching. You’ll also need to fix the fuckups that were left for you. There’s no way you can sneak off for the entire afternoon. What you need is something short and distracting. Do we have suggestions, damn straight we do. These are about as distracting as we could find.

You might start with What Sex Means For World Peace. No, it’s not scandalous. This is real foreign policy talk going on here. If we want world peace we need to focus more on women’s rights.

… the very best predictor of a state’s peacefulness is not its level of wealth, its level of democracy, or its ethno-religious identity; the best predictor of a state’s peacefulness is how well its women are treated. What’s more, democracies with higher levels of violence against women are as insecure and unstable as nondemocracies.

If that doesn’t work for you, then perhaps you can try something a little more provocative such as A Professional Sex Toy Tester’s Guide To Buying A Vibrator. Why? Consider this:

Why, if existing rabbits and dildos are doing such a good job at getting us off, do we need more? “As women become more comfortable with the concept of using toys, the technologies and materials that we might use to create them develop too,” says Jaques. So there’s always room for a new favourite to make its mark. At Lovehoney, they hold regular “gap analysis” meetings,where the boardroom walls are plastered with hundreds of polaroids of their current toy range to identify what’s missing. “We also look to other industries and markets for new ideas,”explains Jaques. “You’d be surprised how many of our toys have been inspired by a power tool or communications device.”

Now, some of you take Humpday rather literally, so for those of you in that camp, I might suggest 11 Ways to Make Doggy Style Even SEXIER. Nope, I’m not going to comment.

A Little Light Exercise

You don’t want to overdo it, of course, but getting out and taking a walk really isn’t a bad idea. Yeah, there may be a chance of rain late this afternoon, but for most the day the temperature is going to be lovely. Getting out of wherever for a minute or two gives you a chance to step away from the stress and the people causing it and breathe. You don’t need to work up a sweat, mind you. That could make things uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Again, it’s that whole going-back-to-the-office thing that you have to keep in mind. A gentle stroll for ten minutes or so, roughly the same amount of time someone else might spend smoking a cigarette, should be just about right. You can then go back in with a clearer head and power through the rest of your Humpday without any serious problems.

Of course, the ultimate experience here might be to walk to the nearest coffee shop and grab a cup. The walk, the caffeine, the fresh air, all sound like the perfect recipe to keep your hands off the throat of that lazy, no-good … uhm, well, you know who.

We Can Do This

We’re strong. We’ve been through weeks worse than this and survived. Only two more days after this one and you have the weekend. Or something. If you don’t have the weekend, there’s surely a break for you out there somewhere. Look for it. Set a goal. You’re getting closer with every passing second.

And if that doesn’t work, I have a shovel. We’ll bury the bodies and pretend nothing ever happened. Happy Humpday.

Just For Fun / pop culture / PotD

Coffee With A Happy Ending (Explicit)

August 24, 2016

charles i. letbetter - coffee with a happy ending

Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep. —Fran Drescher

charles i. letbetter - coffee with a happy ending -explicit

Having oral sex with your coffee might sound wonderful at first, but there could be some serious problems

This was one of those rare mornings where I couldn’t really find a topic that inspired me in any way. Yes, there is plenty of important news, but it was either on topics of which I have little knowledge or wholly political which I’m just not in the mood to engage. Then, I came across a snippet that led me to an article in Maxim, which led me to an article in Playboy, which led me to a news story in The Mirror. They’re all talking about a coffee shop in Geneva, Switzerland that hasn’t even opened yet. The coffee shop is called Facegirl and if you want to go there, expect long lines (at least at first) and high prices.

A cup of coffee at Facegirl will set you back about $55.55 (based on this morning’s exchange rate). I know, that seems rather high. However, the reason for that high price is not because of the coffee but because of the “extra” service that comes with it: oral sex. At first glance, the sex addicted and adventurous among us might think that this is a great idea. I can imagine some are already checking the price of airline tickets to Geneva. If there are two things people love it is oral sex and coffee. Bringing the two together sounds like the ultimate experience.

Well, maybe. By the time I finished all the associated articles, I was beginning to have some questions. Big ones.

Contents May Be Hot

From the very outset, spillage has to be a significant concern and I see no mention in any of the articles how this danger might be offset. No one likes lukewarm coffee, so that’s not really an option. At the same time, we’ve seen numerous lawsuits against places whose hot coffee spilled on a customer. Serving coffee at just the right temperature is a delicate thing. One has to be careful in the consumption of hot beverages.

Now, mix that hot beverage with a sexual activity whose sole purpose is to create pleasure. One does not sit daintily in a chair while being brought to the point of orgasm. If such activity does not cause one to roll their eyes back and lose control of some faculties, someone’s not doing a good job. The potential for danger here is considerable. One might dump hot coffee in their own lap. Ouch. One might spill coffee on their temporary partner. Still not good. With the potential for scalding so extreme, lawsuits alone might close the cafe within weeks of its opening.

I suppose there might be some solutions here. Lids on the cups are a must. Secure cup holders are probably a good idea, too. No one wants to risk bumping a table and sending a cup of hot liquid tumbling the wrong direction. Plenty of space between seats is necessary to prevent one from accidently causing harm to a neighboring customer as well. Even with all those precautions, though, the danger for serious burns still exists. I don’t see any way to totally guard against spilling.

Just A Bit Sexist

While the term “oral sex” is preferred, other descriptions of the services offered at Facegirl make it rather clear that men are the target audience. Granted, there’s nothing saying that women can’t get the same oral service. However, all the service providers, at least those mentioned in the articles, are women. If one is lesbian or bisexual then there’s not as much of a problem. Straight women, unfortunately, seem to be out of luck.

Granted, male service providers might yet be added. The opening date for Facegirl has been kept as to a nebulous “end of the year” timeframe. That gives Facegirl’s owners (which are all male) time to consider how best to service a female clientele that might actually become a dominant part of their business. Women are certainly more unsatisfied by the lack of oral attention provided by their male partners. Women also, generally, are able to enjoy oral sex much more than men. Give them a place that provides quality service with a quality cappuccino and they won’t think twice about dropping $55.

A Little Privacy, Please

Interior design is a big deal in coffee shops. The wrong design can keep customers hanging out and re-ordering drinks, or can send them hurrying out the door. Companies such as Starbucks and Caribou Coffee have spent millions of dollars studying and refining their interior design. I’ve looked over all the articles and find no mention of just how Facegirl is going to approach that issue, and yes, it really does matter.

Coffee shops are generally open spaces. A sense of community is critical to building a strong customer base. Yet, not too many of us are exhibitionists. Walking into a coffee shop to the sight of half-dozen overweight old men getting blowjobs is probably not welcoming to a large number of people. Something tells me an open floor plan isn’t going to work well.

Privacy might be the make-or-break point here. Being able to serve a high volume of people is going to be critical to profitability. How does one maximize the space while still affording the guests both comfort and privacy? Setting people in dark booths with sticky floors is less than appealing. If the setting isn’t pleasing and maintenance of the facility top-notch, this could quickly dissolve into a seedy dive that no one wants to visit.

My, What An Interesting Growth You Have There

Three words: sexually transmitted diseases. Prostitution is legal in Switzerland. Service providers have to be registered and part of that oversight involves regular testing. The likelihood of transferring a disease from provider to guest is relatively small. However, I can’t imagine that Facegirl is going to test its guests. I suppose they could do a quick pinprick that would check for the most common diseases. But any serious testing would take hours.

The disease factor is the one issue that the coffee shop is going to find the most difficult to control. In addition to STDs, other communicable diseases are likely to be easily transferred in such an environment. Think Ebola. Facegirl is going to draw a lot of international tourists and with international tourism, no matter what the business, comes the risk of spreading communicable disease. This is how plagues get started. The service being provided, no matter how careful they are, still involves bodily fluids. Bodily fluids are one of the primary ways in which communicable diseases spread.

Walk in for a cup of coffee and walk out with a smile that might kill you.

Sharing Isn’t Always Caring

We’re all for sexual openness, having multiple partners, group sex, and all the fun that goes along with varied sexual activities. We’re also in favor of sharing coffee with intimate friends. We don’t really go for a lot of restrictions around here. However, we are very careful in vetting with whom we choose to play.

The more I think about it, an open coffee shop, where one cannot control the clientele, seems like a very dangerous place to set up any manner of sexual activity. The risks and dangers are high compared to the few minutes of pleasure one might receive. There are a lot of questions for which I’m not finding answers.

I still like the basic premise, though. Maybe we’ll give the whole coffee and blowjob thing a try … if we can keep the cats and the kids from interfering. Yeah, it’s not likely to happen.

Art / Fashion / Nature / Photography / PotD

Celebrating World Photo Day 2016

August 19, 2016

charles i. letbetter - world photo day 2016

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo. —Erma Bombeck

Today we celebrate the joy of taking a photo, of preserving a memory, of telling a story

Welcome to World Photo Day 2016! This is a day in which we’re going to play along nicely and pretend that the organization behind this day isn’t just trying to sell their book. We like this day because it celebrates something we feel rather passionate about: photography! I mean, who doesn’t like it when someone captures a good photo of you? Granted, for some people that is excessively more difficult than for others. I will also admit that there are times, even when the photography is good, we don’t especially like how we look. I mean, that whole passport photo quote above is way too accurate.

Still, we like to celebrate World Photo Day. Mind you, we don’t celebrate because this was the day photography was invented. The date was determined based on the Daguerreotype, which showed up in 1837. Even that wasn’t really the first photo process. The first fixed-image process was the Heliotype in 1826. What this date actually celebrates, though, is your access to photography. The French government purchased the rights to the Daguerreotype on this date in 1839 and made them open to the public. This allowed for further development of the camera so that you can take selfies with your phone.

Photography has come a long way since 1839. Photography will go a lot farther. This has never been a static industry. Change is constant as someone is continually trying to find a way to take a better, more real photo. Every time someone snaps a shutter, they capture both a moment in time and a moment in photographic history.

The Joy Of A Photo

I’ve taken hundreds of thousands of photographs over the years. From the first time until today, I still get excited when I look at the finished product and find that I have captured something special. Of course, there are times when I’m the only one who thinks a particular image is special, but many of them hold a lot of meaning.

Your pictures are the same way. Sometimes the pictures we hold most dear are those that are not technically stellar. It’s that picture of someone special, or that moment that gave you an incredible feeling, or the last time you saw the person who gave you life. Photographs tell our life’s story. They mark the moments of highs and lows. They remind us that we’re human.

So, we’ve chosen a group of photos for today that spans a range of events and emotions worth remembering for different reasons. Some pictures were chosen not because of the photo itself but because of the people involved behind the scenes. Danelle French did make up for some really great make-up on several. Some are special because of where they were taken. And several are of Kat. That’s a good excuse on its own.

We’ll take more pictures. It’s not always convenient or easy, but we keep going. Some we share. Many we don’t. What follows is a mix of both. And if you want us to take your photos, just ask!

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Art / Just For Fun / Original Style

Saturday Deserves A Coffee Break

August 13, 2016

charles i. letbetter - Saturday needs a coffee break

Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. —Earl Wilson

Saturdays are the perfect time to grab a cup of coffee and chat–about coffee

We’re on our third pot of coffee this morning. There was, admittedly, a cup of orange juice between the first and second pots because I’m old enough to really need the vitamins and stuff. There’s no replacement for coffee, though. Our lives would be but a shell without it. For that matter, I’m pretty sure some lives would be shorter without it. This drink makes us stop and think a moment before taking any actions. There are times when that’s the only thing preventing homicide. Coffee saves the day.

A lot of the best people I know are coffee enthusiasts. One colleague goes out of her way to explore new coffee shops and coffee drinks. Many of my best friends are rarely seen without a coffee cup in their hands. I consider a coffee stain on one’s clothes a sign of intelligence and deep thought. After all, had they not been thinking so deeply about something else, they probably wouldn’t have spilled coffee on themselves.

I’m also excited by the fact that our friends at Calvin Fletcher’s Coffee Company finally completed the installation of their bean roaster this week. Now, like any other new piece of delicate equipment, roasters take some time to calibrate and get to know. We’ll give our friends a couple of weeks to work out the kinks, but I’m looking forward to my next visit. Coffee people, real coffee people, are the best people in the world.

Obsessed With Making Coffee

Those who indulge in this dark essence of warm delight are often as obsessed with making it as they are with drinking it. I can’t wait until I’m awake enough to get Kat awake enough to drive me somewhere to place an order. I need to make my own and if I’m making my own I want it to taste good.

Like many people, I grew up with percolated coffee. Some of you children have likely never experienced such a thing. Percolators are devices where the ground coffee is placed in a basket at the top while the remained below is filled with water. Water is then brought to a boiling temperature at which point it is forced up a tube and over the grounds, exiting the basket at the bottom and mixing with the remaining water below. The whole process takes about 15 minutes for a standard home-use percolator. Percolated taste is passable, but the longer the machine percolates the more the coffee is poured back over the grounds and can make the results bitter.

Then came Mr. Coffee. A home version of the commercial Bunn machines used in restaurants, these nifty new devices heated the water, poured it over the ground beans, then deposited the filtered results into a glass carafe waiting below. Think of it as a multi-cup pour over. There were a couple of inherent dangers, though. One was that the thermostats heating the water were less than precise. As a result, one might find a carafe of lukewarm garbage barely drinkable, or something so hot it threatened to eat through the glass. The other was that many people would leave just a tiny amount of liquid in the bottom but leave the warming plate on. Burning, horrible burning, would occur. The smell was enough to turn stomachs.

Tools Of The Trade

So, what is the best way to make sure your morning starts right? What tools does one really need to make a drink that is not only passable but worth stumbling through the house in the dark and stepping on three Lego’s? Personally, I prefer french press. We use a 20-ounce carafe. I know exactly how to grind the beans, the exact amount, and just how hot to let the water get. My method is so rote I can almost do it in my sleep.

Understandably, not everyone agrees. In fact, I was quite amused when Business Insider published an article on the six things we all should have to prepare this most necessary drink. Their list is, shall we say, a bit pretentious:

Chemex. That’s a very specific pour over brand. Pour overs are okay, I suppose, but the one cup at a time limitation rather sucks, especially if one has company. There are larger versions, but at that point, they’re really not any different than a Bunn, are they?
A gooseneck kettle for precise pouring. Personally, I find this falls into the give-me-a-fucking-break department. The number of people who can actually tell the difference is one in about three hundred and fifty million coffee drinkers who are awake enough to be paying attention. No one whose eyes are still half shut gives this much of a fuck. Just let me have my damn drink.
An Aeropress. If there were no hipsters, there would be no need for this product. Again, I’ll take my french press any time over this nonsense with its filters and need for precision. This is just craziness right here. Anyone who owns one of these has probably tried brewing their own beer as well. Total pretentiousness.
A scale. Give me a fucking break. Unless you’re putting weed in your coffee, which I don’t recommend, this is a total waste of time. Coffee doesn’t need to be that precise.
A grinder. Okay, I’ll give you this one. Grinding your beans fresh is a critical part to getting a good taste. Of course, that also raises issues about how to grind, how long to grind, how much to grind, how to store what you’ve ground … you get the picture.
A coffee table book on coffee. Am I the only one having flashbacks of Kramer’s coffee table book on the sitcom Seinfeld? Please, tell me I’m not alone here.

Dealing With Excess

Even though we drink a lot of this stuff, there are still times we have leftovers. I hate waste, I really do, but I can’t stomach anything that’s been sitting out on the counter for the past three hours. Fortunately, the good folks at Death Wish Coffee Company have some ideas for how to deal with leftover coffee. Here, they even put it in a video for you:

Now, For A Break

This whole writing about what I’m drinking has become exhausting. I need a break, and a refill. You’re more than welcome to join me. After all, it is Saturday. And it’s raining. Do you really have anything better to do? No, you don’t. Sit down and pour yourself a cup. Enjoy.

PotD

Stale Bread, Weak Coffee, & Old Photos

August 2, 2016

charles i. letbetter - weak coffee, stale bread, and old photos

In the past, people have looked at photos as a record of memory. The focus has been on the past tense. With Instagram, the focus is on the present tense. —Kevin Systrom

charles i. letbetter - stale bread, weak coffee, and old photos

Fighting against asking the question, “What have I done with my life,” I look back at old photos and respond, “Oh yeah, I did this.”

I am having one of those moments of extreme self-doubt this morning. Even the dog didn’t want to stay up and play as he usually does after his morning walk There’s something about Tuesday where I anticipate bad things to happen and the day rarely lets me down. In order to brace myself for whatever devastating news may come or difficulties take place, I try to keep Tuesdays low key to temper the emotional impact of today’s inevitable disaster.

This morning seems to be taking care of itself, however. I grind my own coffee for use in a french press each morning. Today, though, I look as I’m pouring hot water into the pot and realize I didn’t get all the coffee. I left half of it in the grinder for some reason. My coffee is weak.

Then, looking around for something to occupy the morning munchies, I pick up a piece of toast that might have been leftover from last night’s dinner. Wrong. It was stale beyond palpability. I tried eating it anyway, but no, two bites were all I could handle. The brick-like texture gave way to the taste of sawdust that coated the inside of my mouth with a mush to horrible to swallow.

5:00 AM and today already sucks.

Once Upon A Time …

Life wasn’t always like this, you know. There was a time when things were better, at least from a creative standpoint. Here’s where we put on the rose-colored glasses for the sake of sanity and encouragement. I look back at old photos, pieces that were once in my portfolio but have been dropped due to age, and find some encouragement. As I fight back against this overwhelming feeling of worthlessness, the old photos give me a reason to smile. Maybe everything hasn’t been for naught. After all, I did this.

Of course, that line of thinking only works if I ignore the fact that while I was playing with one of the first print-viable digital cameras and taking hundreds of photos almost every day, the rest of my world was crumbling. One disaster came in after another, usually on Tuesdays, though Wednesday and Thursday couldn’t necessarily be trusted. Employment? Gone. Parents? Dead. Marriage? Kaput.Security? Dissolved.

But now is not the time to dwell on those things. Right now, we need to focus on what was good, what worked, and those images that made me feel good about myself. Something to take my mind off the fact that if this coffee were any weaker it would be water. I hate weak coffee, it’s almost as bad as decaf. I’ll have to make more. Too bad I can’t just say that about the photographs.

Creative Perspiration

Old photos remind me of how much work it is to be creative. I had more energy when these were taken, more drive, and perhaps more motivation. I would sometimes put weeks of effort into researching materials to make sure what we were going to do would actually work. I’ve lost that drive and I’m not sure how to get it back.

What bothers me is that I have more resources at my disposal now in many ways. I have plenty of materials already on hand and know when they’ll work and when they won’t. My need to experiment isn’t quite as great. I can tell Kat what I’m thinking in terms of hair and makeup and know that she understands what I’m wanting.

Other pieces are missing, though, pieces that are difficult to describe and impossible to replace. Perhaps part of what makes me proud of these old photos is how hard I had to work to get some of them.

It’s Still Tuesday

My intent this morning was to share some of those old photos that still inspire me. I thought I would put them in a nice gallery displayed in a slide show. It’s Tuesday, though, so the plug-in that enables that capability has decided to not cooperate. All I can do is post the photos here and hope the mosaic works. I apologize for making you scroll through them all.

While you’re looking at pictures, I’m going to make fresh coffee, strong coffee, and maybe some fresh toast. Or maybe I’ll just have cereal.

Remember when cereal was great? Yeah, let’s not get started with that one. Old photos are enough reminiscing for one day. Good luck with your Tuesday.

: Wicked Orchid. Body art by Pashur

Editorial / PotD

Running Out Of Coffee

July 28, 2016

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. —Lewis Black

Think of coffee as a metaphor for that which motivates you. Now, how full is your cup?

If you know me, live and in person, chances are pretty high we have chatted at some point over a cup of coffee. Coffee has been a staple in my diet since I was a teenager and is, most notably, a central part of almost any social event or occasion in which I might participate. I take coffee so seriously that my fiancè used to work at Starbucks, we buy multiple pounds of beans, and we fresh grind every pot we make. We don’t do sloppy coffee.

I can make do without a lot of things, but coffee isn’t one of them. I need that hot, black, motivating liquid in my life or I’m not a pleasant person. Not that the coffee itself makes me happy, but being without it makes me more irritable than normal. Coffee is an important part of my life.

Chances are, coffee is an important part of your life as well. How many people have I met for the first time at a coffee shop? There are new coffee shops popping up all the time, as well. I saw just this morning a request from a new coffee shop for wall art. There are mobile coffee trucks that make the rounds. And in places other than Indiana, there are coffee shops specifically for those with an S&M kink in their lifestyle. I’ve even heard of coffee shops with attractive baristas that were topless, but I’m not sure they’re still in business. Coffee is an important part of American life.

Substitutions Allowed

While I probably could sit here and sing the praises of coffee all day, that is not my purpose. I want you to think of coffee as a metaphor for everything that motivates you. Whether you are pushed forward by a sense of obligation, or family, or finances, or something esoteric, compare what that element does for you and then put coffee in its place.

Think of how dependent you are on the things that motivate you. Consider how encouraging those motivators are. When you wake up in the morning feeling tired and groggy, those motivators are what convince you to put your feet on the floor, get dressed, and start your day. When you hit a slump in the middle of the afternoon and just want to give up, those motivators are what keep you going, push you forward.

We all have something that motivates us to do what we do. Like coffee, they empower us, make us happy, and give us a sense that all is right in the world. Coffee and motivation seem like a good combination.

When Disaster Strikes

Now, imagine that you wake up one morning and are out of coffee. The motivation is gone. You’re not sure how it happened. There was plenty of coffee yesterday. You’re not aware of anyone stealing your coffee. You’re not sure what happened, but the coffee is gone. Can there be a bigger personal disaster?

Thankfully, we’re not there yet, but that seems to be where we’re headed. Like peering into my cup and finding it less than half-full, I worry that we’re running out of coffee and there’s not going to be another pot made anytime soon. The bag of beans is empty.

We’re forced to make some difficult decisions. Do we go somewhere else for coffee, even if that means a complete change in style and roast? Do we try doing without coffee for a few days in hopes that our coffee might magically return? Or do we move to Brazil and grow the damn beans ourselves? Dealing with a loss of motivation puts us in a precarious place of potentially upending our lives in search of a reason to continue.

Drink The Coffee Slowly

This is where I’m at this morning: there’s not much coffee left in my cup. I’m running out and I’m not sure I even want to make another pot. What motivated me in the past just doesn’t have the same pull now. I need more depth of meaning. I need stronger justification. I need to avoid those blends that leave a bad feeling in my stomach. As I take another sip from the cup, I realize this coffee isn’t as satisfying as it was when the cup was fresh.

I drink the bottom half of this cup more slowly. I don’t want to run out because I’m not sure I’ll like what replaces it. Coffee cups don’t stay empty for long. There’s always a barista or someone running around refilling everyone’s cup. They don’t always know what you’re drinking, though.

True story: I stopped by an IHOP Sunday night hoping to get some quiet reading time. I ordered a cup of coffee and opened my book. The waitress soon appeared with a fresh cup of coffee and set it on the table. I waited a few seconds then took a sip. This wasn’t coffee. This was tea. I knew it before the rim of the cup hit my lips. This wasn’t what I ordered.

Change Is Not Always Good

I don’t want tea in my cup. I’m sure of that. Granted, tea is the same color as coffee, has as much or more caffeine as coffee, can be modified in ways similar to coffee, and at times is a much more flexible drink than coffee. Still, tea is not coffee, is it? The two taste quite different.

Motivation is the same way. Not everyone sees the change the same way. What appears to be an even adjustment on the surface may mask the fact that a new motivator is not nearly as effective as the previous one. Changing what motivates us can change our mood, our willingness to cooperate, our desire to push forward. Change can take us from democracy to fascism. Change can take the free and make them slaves. No matter how well slaves might be treated, it’s still slavery. Do we really want to substitute our coffee for tea?

The Problem With Metaphors

Do you understand what I’m saying? I almost feel as though I’m writing in riddles this morning. The problem with metaphors is that not everyone sees the connections the same way I do. What coffee is to motivation might be totally lost on everyone except me. You may not have understood a word I’ve said. You might be sitting here totally confused.

Know that just as my coffee cup will soon be empty, my motivation is in a similar state. I’m almost empty. I’m not sure things will be the same tomorrow. Maybe there’s more coffee in the pot. Maybe not.

Tomorrow may be different. Maybe I’ll just drink water. Go ahead, chase that metaphor if you will. My cup is almost empty and I’m not sure I’m getting a refill.

Advertising / Fashion / pop culture / PotD

Information Overload

June 30, 2016

Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? —T. S. Eliot

charles i. letbetter - information overload

The glut of information comes at such a heavy pace so as to make keeping up impossible

I don’t know about anyone else, but the volume of information I receive on a daily basis is impossible to consume. While the majority of articles, press releases, and various studies shoved my direction do have some value, there is simply not enough time to digest and comprehend the bulk. I end up setting some pieces aside to read later and then get to the end of the month, like today, and realize I have a backlog that needs to be addressed.

Even then, I know there’s some information I have to let go. That article that says one out of three internet users are content creators? It’s been sitting there for two weeks. The information seems interesting, but there is not enough time to get into the details. A detailed essay on the dumbing down of America has been sitting there since the 7th. Incredible amounts of information that is highly applicable to this election season. Too detailed for my schedule, though. I have to let it pass.

Still, there are some stories that, for various reasons, I can’t let pass without at least a tiny bit of comment. This is information I am quite sure you need, that will impact every aspect of your life. Okay, not really, but some of it is damned entertaining. The headlines are links. Click them for more information.

Alexander Wang Is Now Chairman/CEO Of His Own Brand

For those outside the fashion industry, this may sound like a rather obvious move. It’s not. Fashion designers are notoriously bad at the business side of things. That’s why conglomerates such as Kering and LVMH own so many top-name labels. People who are wonderfully creative, such as clothing designers, too often attempt to apply that same creativity to the business side of the house and it rarely works.

Alex takes over the head of the boardroom from his sister-in-law and his mom, both of whom have been running things rather well. Certainly, Wang would not have been able to spend the time at Balenciaga had they not been in place. They’ve done an excellent job of steering his young brand through its first ten years. Influencers such as Marc Jacobs haven’t hurt, either.

The fashion market has changed dramatically in the past five years, though, and strategies that made sense when the label was founded no longer work. The move signals a new direction, though it remains to be seen what that new direction might be. Alexander Wang is one of the top US fashion brands at the moment. Let’s hope he doesn’t blow it. We’ll file this information under things to watch.

Kering Ordered To Pay Hedi Slimane $13 Million

Speaking of Kering, they were sued earlier this month by former Yves Saint Laurent designer Hedi Slimane. Honestly, when I first saw a related headline, I rolled my eyes. I think Slimane was expecting another label to pick him up quickly upon his departure from YSL. His expectations were a bit too eager. Few talked with him at all and none of the conversations reached a serious stage of negotiation.

That means the rather extravagant designer was starting to feel the financial impact of not having a regular income. So, what does he do? Find a loophole in his former contract and sue his former employer for failing to include a non-compete clause in his separation agreement. Understand, a non-compete means that a designer cannot just hop directly from one label to the next for a given period of time. A non-compete is what is allegedly keeping Raf Simons from taking the head job at Calvin Klein. How does this make sense?

Non-competes, in the fashion world, are generally compensated. Labels essentially pay a designer to not work (in an official capacity) for usually two or three years. The $13 million Slimane was awarded should keep him going long enough to create a new strategy.

Dove Release New #MyBeautyMyWay Campaign

Dove has been using messages of affirmation for women in its ads for some time now. While there has yet to be any firm information showing that the tactic is adding anything to the brand’s bottom line, the campaigns are at least socially popular. This particular campaign comes along at a time when body image and self-image, especially among women, is a significant issue. Women are tired of the cat calls and the impolite statements regarding their appearance. Dove’s campaign encourages women to define their beauty their own way. Take a look at the 60-second ad:

My expectation is that an overwhelming number of women can identify with at least one if not multiple statements made. Additional ads address the details of each of the six women shown in this introductory piece. The timing ties into the presidential campaign as well. With a woman as the presumptive Democratic nominee and the misogynistic tone of the presumptive Republican nominee, women are feeling more empowered to be vocal and reclaiming their personhood.

Still, how long can Dove continue these campaigns without them adding significant revenue? Altruism doesn’t pay the bills.

Starbucks Is The Favorite Food Brand Among Millennials

Is anyone really surprised by this one? Of course not. Anytime we stop by one of the coffee stores we have to wait in line behind two or three 30-somethings getting their mocha-soy-caramel-latte-frappucino on. All I want is a venti blonde roast. Black. Yet, I still have to wait while each of the millennials in front of me orders a drink with far too many syllables to be healthy, then mulls over the ever-growing list of food items that look and sound healthy. Can I just get my coffee, please?

Click the link above, though, and what you’ll see is a list of the top 17 most popular food brands among this top group of shoppers who are the driving demographic for almost every company on the planet. Look through the list and you’ll notice a trend that has been part of Starbuck’s strategy from the beginning: Fresh, healthy and innovative. The growing food menu items address the fresh and healthy issue. The drinks have always been innovative. Starbucks has made the strategy work for them and other brands are finally beginning to see the value as well.

Even we old codgers benefit. With everyone adjusting to lure millennials, we’re all eating better whether we like it or not.

Crystal Pepsi Is Making A Return

Depending on how one feels about the product, we might file this interesting piece of information under “too good to be true,” or “what the hell are they thinking?” Crystal Pepsi, which is supposed to taste exactly like the original product, hasn’t been on store shelves since 1994. There is a very good reason for that: no one wanted a cola that looked like 7Up. The caramel color is part of the identity of a cola. The drink was treated more as a novelty and then slipped slowly away.

Today, though, artificial dyes are under attack from the healthy/pure food woo groups. You know, those same people who are convinced that Monsanto is out to destroy the entire food supply (they’re not). While the actual peer-reviewed science regarding food dyes only shows a danger in a handful of very specific colors consumed in high quantities, the concept of going without dyes has a lot of marketing clout. The move worked for Hershey, after all. They saw a significant sales bump after announcing they had eliminated artificial coloring from their chocolate.

The difference between Hershey’s and Pepsi, though, is that the chocolate still looks pretty much the same. The color may not be identical, but at least it’s still brown. Take the artificial coloring out of Pepsi and you have something that does not look anything like a cola. The move didn’t work well the first time. We’ll see if this effort is different.

French Cable Now Has Porn Ads

Americans like copying a lot of trends that are popular across Great Britain and France. With the UK having pretty much sabotaged itself with the whole Brexit thing, France is getting more of the attention at the moment. Maybe a bit too much attention. The French cable provider Cable+ has come up with a set of ads that, while hilarious to view, would be almost impossible to duplicate for the American market. Let’s see if I can describe this delicately …

It’s porn.

Apparently, French Cable providers can get away with a lot racier content than we can here. In the American cable market, the most shocking thing one is likely to see is the blood bath known as Game of Thrones. We can be explicit in our killing, but not our sex. That might explain some problems with our culture.

What these French ads do, though, is hilariously parody old-school porn by removing one person from the scene. So, you have real porn stars looking as though they’re getting it on, but their partner is missing. Why is the partner missing? Because all the good porn has moved to Canal.

It’s a bit much and definitely NSFW. I’m not posting the ads here. Click the link, though. They’re hilarious.

Take A Break

After that last bit of information there, I think we need to take a break. I need another cup of coffee. I hope at least one piece of information here improves your life somehow.

PotD / science / Social Commentary

Smart or Stupid, Is That A Question?

June 19, 2016

charles i. letbetter - smart or stupid, is this a choice?

I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues. —Franklin D. Roosevelt

charles i. letbetter - smart or stupid, is that a question

Is there a problem with being smart or are we trying to justify stupid?

Americans, apparently more than any other country, have an obsession with being smart. We heap praises on those who demonstrate intelligence beyond the norm and we get upset when we realize that our educational system is producing graduates who can only read at a fifth-grade level. Even our television viewing skews toward characters we perceive as smart. Programs such as Scorpion and Elementary (based on the character of Sherlock Holmes), consistently generate high ratings. We even like our comedy smart. The highest rated sitcom, for multiple seasons, is The Big Bang Theory, where we watch allegedly intelligent scientist bumble their way through life. One of the reasons we like that show is because it delivers lines like these:

Leonard: Sheldon! We have to do this!

Sheldon: No, we don’t. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep ourselves from dying. Everything else is optional!

The bluntness of the exchange makes us laugh, but at the same time, we recognize the intelligence of Sheldon’s response and consider ourselves smart when we use that line on someone else the next day. We like being smart. Although, perhaps more correctly, we like thinking that we’re smart. Many of us are lacking in cognitive skills. The intelligence of television characters doesn’t rub off and make us smarter. Some people are stupid.

We Have A Problem

Once upon a time, the rate of acceleration in IQ among high school graduates was pretty impressive. Psychologist James Flynn found that from 1932 to 1978, IQ scores in the US increased by 13.8 percent. Putting that in other terms, a score that was average in 1932 would be in the bottom 20% in 1978. Yay us! I’m in that 1978 group. We’re smart!

Unfortunately, that trend failed to continue. Just because we give allegiance to intelligence doesn’t mean we’re all doing well in the brain category. Measurements are tough to come by and even more difficult to verify, but that are glimpses of where we stand. Consider that the College Board, the entity that administers the SAT, considers a score of 500 as a benchmark for who will do well in college. Not everyone takes the SAT, but if we look at states where the test is free and participation over 90 percent, we find that only 33 to 40 percent scored above that benchmark.

An article published this month in The Atlantic, while trying very hard to convince us that there is an unfair war on stupidity, admits that:

… less intelligent people are more likely to suffer from some types of mental illness, become obese, develop heart disease, experience permanent brain damage from a traumatic injury, and end up in prison, where they are more likely than other inmates to be drawn to violence. They’re also likely to die sooner.

Being Smart Isn’t Easy

I was amused by Jeffrey Zacks’ essay published on aeon disproving brain-training games and exploring how difficult it is to expand our level of intelligence. His list of things that are marketed as improving our intelligence, such as programs offered by Lumosity, which rocketed to a high of 50 million users, and PositScience, which isn’t quite as popular but uses a similar methodology, is long. He makes a very good case against brain-training, especially.

One of the general issues with many of the concepts that are supposed to help us improve our brains is that they only focus on one particular segment, usually related to memory. For example, does anyone else remember those little plastic games with the tiles that moved around to create a picture, or put numbers in order? Those little devils actually help advance our cognitive ability, but only in the area of recognizing patterns. Likewise, those tricks for helping remember people’s names do improve some memory skills, but only in terms of memorizing lists. The effects are not transferable.

While we think of Adderall and Ritalin as being primarily used with children who have attention deficit issues, there is evidence of them improving the cognitive ability in normal adults as well. This area of study might actually be promising accept for the fact that the effects are short term. They give a momentary boost of cognitive enhancement, but then it stops as the drug wears off and over time the “crash” goes below the starting baseline. Users are trading a moment of lessened ability for a moment of enhanced performance. Oh, and the drug that works best? Nicotine. Go figure.

Solutions Are Available

Strip away the biases of both articles, and what we find are solutions that can make us all smarter and reduce the rate of stupidity (yes, I’m using the word) that seems to be prevalent over a frightening number of people. We simply cannot excuse the growing trend among those whose cognitive abilities are diminished to demonize those who are smart. Atul Gawande, in his commencement address to the California Institute of Technology, made an interesting conclusion after talking about the growing distrust of science:

Even more than what you think, how you think matters. The stakes for understanding this could not be higher than they are today, because we are not just battling for what it means to be scientists. We are battling for what it means to be citizens.

Indeed, we need to be smart and that means we need to do the things that not only make us smarter, but put us back on track toward making our children and grandchildren smarter as well. Top priorities must be decreasing poverty and improving the quality and availability of early childhood education. One of our most stupid moves comes when we oppose funding that can solve both those problems. At the same time, nutrition and exercise, especially cardiovascular activities such as swimming, biking, and walking, are among the best ways to not only increase cognitive ability but prevent its decline as we get older. We have options.

Is This Really A Choice?

One thing for certain is that I’m not going to stop calling out those actions that are stupid. Perhaps we do need to be more careful in clarifying that, generally speaking, it is one’s actions and not the specific individual who is stupid. At the same time, though, we must realize that we are not nearly as smart as we like to think. We could be much smarter, even if we’re older and out of school. Our future depends on increasing our country’s overall intelligence so that we don’t do something incredibly stupid like nominating a bigoted, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, reality television host for president.

Oops, it may already be too late.

Music / Mythology / PotD

Looking For A Happy Place

June 17, 2016

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. —Franz Schubert

charles i. letbetter - finding a happy place

Sometimes finding a happy place that is void of angst is more difficult than it should be

I knew the moment I stepped out the back door this morning that today was going to be a struggle: I stumbled over the threshold as the dog pulled on his leash. This was one of those mornings where nothing felt quite right. The skies were cloudy and a brisk breeze was blowing. Our neighborhood is normally fairly well lit with a majority of people leaving their front porch lights on all night. Not this morning, though. Several lights that are normally on were off. Instead of keeping his nose to the ground, as he normally does on our morning walks, the dog was sniffing the air. He pulled at his leash more than usual and occasionally would stop dead to smell. He wasn’t happy. Something felt off.

The problem is, I keep having days like this. Granted, they don’t all start out quite as creepy as this morning’s walk, but finding the happy has been a struggle. Trying to be positive and reaffirming has been much more of a challenge than it should be. I’m having more negative experiences than I am positive. I know I’m not alone, either. I see your posts on Facebook and Twitter. You’re trying. You want to be happy, but when you think you’ve found a smile someone comes along and slaps it off your face.

Let’s try something different

I recently started reading the book Mindfulness: a Practical Guide To Awakening by Joseph Goldstein. Don’t let the ethnic sound of the author’s name fool you. This book is 100% unapologetically Buddhist. However, there is a fair amount of crossover between Buddhism and Dudeism, so I’m guessing there might be some things I can apply. Any help is appreciated.

I’ve not gotten too far into the book, though, because I have this habit of not necessarily taking people at their word. The Internet has reinforced that habit and this political season isn’t helping at all. So, just getting through the preface and introduction of the book took some time as I felt compelled to check the references. After four days, I’m just starting the second chapter. I’m not gleaning a lot just yet.

One thing that has struck a chord, though, is the concept of impermanence. Goldstein goes into some detail and even quotes an absolutely beautiful poem that drives the concept home. Ultimately, though, the whole thing can be summed up in a simple statement: none of us are getting out of this alive. There’s no point is getting all worked up about things when, in the end, every last bit of it is temporary. The beauty, the occupation, the money, the glamor, the reputation, and prestige all die. They gain us nothing that actually impacts our long term happiness.

Creating a starting point

If everything is temporal, then is there anything that actually can make us happy? There is a sign on the wall of our living room that reads: Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life. I’m not sure who originated that thought, but it seems to fit in with where I think Goldstein is taking his readers. And if happiness is a way of life, then perhaps we might start by meditating on the elements of life that make us happy and consider why we have attached happiness to those pieces of our lives.

For example, the first cup of coffee in the morning makes me happy, not in the smile-on-my-face sort of way but more of an internal feeling that I’m now ready to handle the day. Why does that make me happy? Perhaps the answer is partly because that is the moment where all my senses begin to feel awake. Prior to that point, half of me is still asleep. I’m not fully aware until I’ve had that first cup of coffee.

There’s a problem with coffee being a happy point, though, according to Goldstein and the whole Buddhist mindset: coffee is a thing. True happiness is not found in things, they say.

Let’s try this again

Another thing that makes me happy is snuggling with Kat. We don’t get to do this as often as we’d like. We’re both busy and, quite honestly, we’re both the type of people who frequently prefer to be left alone. We are sitting here this morning enjoying each other’s company, but neither of us speaking or even sitting close together. So, when we do actually have time to connect on any physical level, even if it’s just leaning on each other before we drag our weary bodies to bed, I feel happy.

Again, the question has to be asked: why? What is it about sitting next to, touching another person, that generates feelings of happiness? Is it just Kat that generates that feeling? No, connecting with the kids in a gentle manner, sitting next to one of my boys, or even nuzzling with the dog generates a very similar, though not identical emotion.

I’m guessing it’s more the act of connecting with someone, or something, outside myself that generates the positive feelings we recognize as happiness. I’m fairly sure there’s psychological research to back up that premise as well, though I’m not going to take up the time to go looking at this exact moment. Reaching outside ourselves is a positive thing. Maybe that’s what makes us happy.

Or maybe it’s something else

Happiness can come from more than once source, though, and many of those don’t involve actually connecting with another person. For example, this young lady’s performance did a very good job of putting a smile on my face. Take a look:

Why does that little girl’s stand up comedy make me happy? Skipping the analysis, I’m going to guess the answer is because it reaffirms, or is at least sympathetic to my own sense of values and opinions. Like any good comedy, she leaves me feeling good about the fact that not everything going on in our lives makes a lick of sense.

In the end, however …

I’m still not there. I’m not finding that happy place this morning. Knowing that I’m going to have to deal with issues and attitudes I’d just as soon avoid negates the meditation. I’m sure Goldstein addresses that issue later in the book, but I’m likely several pages away from that revelation. Instead, I have Schubert’s Erlkönig running through my mind. Even if I didn’t know the translation of the lyrics, which are gruesome enough on their own, the music fits the sense of maddening futility I feel for the day. Running, constantly running, only to fail in the end.

I think I really need to be taking more pictures, don’t you? Maybe you should pose for them. Maybe one of us could find our happy place.

Current Issues / Photography / PotD

Love Is Still Alive

June 13, 2016

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. —Marcus Aurelius

charles i. letbetter - PRIDE is still alive

What happened in Orlando Sunday morning causes everyone who is LGBT and LGBT Allies to hurt. But PRIDE is still alive and will continue to be proud

We woke up Saturday morning excited about the parade. We drove downtown early to find a parking spot, walked down Mass. Ave. to get our coffee on, then walked back to claim our favorite spot from which to shoot the parade. Sure, it was warm and humid, but that was okay. We were prepared for that. Kat carried water and snacks in her purse. She and the kids sat in the shade and waited and even made some new friends.

We came home, exhausted but happy. The kids faces were red from the sun but they were more excited about the excessively large amount of candy they had received (which will be distributed among more responsible people). I downloaded the pictures, marked the ones that I liked, and enjoyed a nap. It was a good day.

Then, we woke up Sunday to bad news that just kept getting worse. By noon, we were wondering what the fuck was wrong with our country. We felt what all our friends were feeling: hurt, anger, and disbelief when the body count went to 50. How could this happen? Why would this happen?

Next came the realization that the day could have been worse. Los Angeles police received a tip that allowed them to stop someone that, at the time, seemed bent on disrupting the LA Pride parade. With the number of weapons and explosive making materials confiscated, considerable harm might have been done, though the young man’s motives remain unclear.

I offer no explanation nor excuses for to do so is folly. Hate is the bottom line and we can make all the excuses and place the blame a dozen different places but at the end of the day if we don’t address the hate we leave the door open for the same thing to happen again.

How do we address the hate? By showing more love. The LGBT community and their allies are hurting, but Love did not die on the floor at Pulse. LOVE is still alive. Love is not going anywhere. We will take a moment to reflect, to mourn, and to honor the fallen. Then, we will return to the clubs, to the streets, to the parades and we will show everyone that Love is still alive. We are embracing, still armed with acceptance, still ready to celebrate the individuality of every person, no matter how they identify with life.

We who are alive respect those whose lives were lost this weekend by bit letting these events weaken our resolve. Everyone has the right to be who they choose to be and no one has the right to take your personhood away, not with a gun, not with their speech, not with a stupid law about where to pee. We are alive and we are PROUD of those who stand in support of those who are different from themselves. We are PROUD that Indianapolis mayor Joe Hogsett and his wife were front and center at Saturday’s parade. We are PROUD that Democratic gubernatorial candidate John Gregg walked alongside LGBT supporters. We are PROUD that this year’s parade grew even larger and that more businesses stepped out of the shadows to show their support.

So, today we share our photos from Saturday, when we were happy, when we didn’t even think that someone might target such an event with hate, when we took PRIDE in being alive and sharing a moment with our LGBT friends. You’ll see the mayor, Cadillac Barbie, Mr. Gregg, and many more. You’ll see the drone that hovered above the parade route and a young man who looks angry but actually had just run out of bananas to give away. You’ll see bubbles and bodies and rainbows but more than anything you’ll see people happy to be alive and being free to be themselves.

Kat sent me a video this morning that I also want you to see. The scene is from a PRIDE event in South Korea. Parents of LGBT children stand in the street and give hugs to anyone, to everyone, to show that they are loved. I cannot help but wonder if this isn’t the attitude we need to take as well. What kind of message would it send if thousands of LGBT allies stood on the circle and gave hugs and messages of support not only to our LGBT friends, but to anyone who needs that moment of love and affirmation? I’ll put the video after the photos.

I never wear any color but black, but this morning there is a button on my shirt. It is round, bordered by a rainbow and says, “ALLY.” My plan is to wear that button everywhere I go, every day, for as long as I can keep up with the magnetic back, so that everyone I see will know that this weekend’s tragedy has not weakened our resolve. We are alive, determined to support our LGBT friends, and determined, more than ever, to love.

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Current Issues / Nature / PotD

Feeling The Heat

June 10, 2016

I don’t always wear underwear. When I’m in the heat, especially, I can’t wear it. Like, if I’m wearing a flower dress, why do I have to wear underwear? —Naomi Campbell

The heat is on. The argument for wearing clothes is strained. Caution is advised

My alarm went off, as always, at 4:00 AM this morning. I groaned quietly, kissed the back of Kat’s neck and got out of bed, dressing in the dark so as to not bother anyone.

The dog was waiting, as always. He hears the alarm, too, and is anxious for me to put on my shoes and snap the leash to his harness. He’s been here a month, but our morning walks are already a matter of ritual. He shakes himself and we’re ready to go.

I check the weather forecast, as always. 70 degrees. 30% chance of isolated thunderstorms after 7 this morning. Shit. I have 120 pounds of concrete mix sitting in the yard. I’ll have to move that when we get back.

We start our walk with Belvedere’s nose to the ground, as always. The neighbor’s security light pops on as we pass but the dog doesn’t flinch. He’s more interested in the scent of a feral cat that roams the area each night. The cat can’t be too big; we see its muddy paw prints on the car each morning. In the distant, lightening flashes. We probably won’t actually get any rain at our house. Most weather goes around us.

This is summer, and, as always, we’re beginning to feel the heat. 92 is the forecasted high today, and as someone who grew up in Oklahoma, my instinctive reaction is to think, “Aw, that ain’t nothing but good swimming weather.” But 92 when I was a kid wasn’t the same as 92 is now. The only air pollution we had to worry about then was the fragrance that came from the feedlot when the wind was out of the South. Heat and humidity were a thing, but rarely did they actually kill anyone.

Things are different now. Heat is the enemy. Now, the National Weather Service issues air quality warnings. I saw the orange band across the top of the forecast early and knew what it had to be. Here’s this morning’s statement (the caps are normal for NWS statements; they’re not actually shouting at you):

INZ047-110000-
MARION-
INCLUDING THE CITY OF...INDIANAPOLIS
256 PM EDT THU JUN 9 2016

...A KNOZONE ACTION DAY HAS BEEN DECLARED...

THE OFFICIALS AT THE OFFICE OF SUSTAINABILITY FOR THE CITY OF
INDIANAPOLIS HAVE CALLED FOR A KNOZONE ACTION DAY ON FRIDAY...JUNE
10...FOR THE FOLLOWING INDIANA COUNTIES...

MARION.

A KNOZONE ACTION DAY MEANS THAT A COMBINATION OF THE HIGH
TEMPERATURES...LIGHT WINDS AND OTHER FACTORS ARE EXPECTED TO
PRODUCE CONDITIONS WHERE HIGH LEVELS OF OZONE EMISSIONS MAY
EXCEED FEDERALLY MANDATED STANDARDS.

HERE ARE SOME RECOMMENDED ACTIONS THAT THE PUBLIC CAN TAKE TO REDUCE
OZONE FORMING EMISSIONS.

RIDE THE BUS INSTEAD OF TAKING YOUR CAR.
CAR-POOL WITH A FRIEND OR CO-WORKER.
REDUCE THE AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT IN DRIVE THRU LANES.
POSTPONE FILLING OR TOPPING OFF YOUR GAS TANK UNTIL AFTER DARK.
PUT OFF MOWING YOUR LAWN UNTIL AFTER 600 PM.

All this because of a little heat. What wasn’t a big deal 40 or 50 years ago is monumental now. When we were kids, we could go out and play all day, every day, and the only time our parents worried about the weather affecting us adversely was when there were tornadoes in the area. Today, however, we’ll be taking specific action to protect the kids from harm: we’re leaving the county and heading for a quiet state park. They’ll be able to play outside without having to worry about breathing bad air.

Tomorrow is a different story, though. The anticipated high temperature for tomorrow is 96°F which means NWS will almost certainly release another air quality warning, but tomorrow is the annual Pride parade. We can’t miss that, for a number of reasons. That means we’ll have to make some adjustments to make sure the experience is safe and enjoyable for the kids. Come to think of it, you would probably do well to follow some of the same suggestions for yourself.

When feeling the heat, here are some do’s and don’ts for staying alive:

DO drink plenty of water. We’ll be carrying 8 oz bottles of the stuff to keep everyone hydrated. Hydration is always an issue in the heat, but under these conditions it is critical.
DON’T drink only soda, coffee or alcohol, all of which dehydrate the body. Sure, they’re tasty, but they’ll leave you panting along the side of the road.
DO wear clothing that is light textured if you’re in a place where clothing is required. This is a great time to show off your swimsuit.
DON’T forget the sunscreen. Please. Always. Skin cancer is no joke and incidents have risen dramatically in the past 20 years. The shine makes your body look good, anyway.
DO eat a lot of fresh fruit. Strawberries, peaches, apples, and bananas are what we’re having for breakfast.
DON’T eat a lot of processed sugars. That stuff is bad for you any day, but in the heat, they zap your strength and can make you violently ill. Stay away.
DO plan activities at either end of the day. Before 10 AM and after 6 PM are best.
DON’T expose you or anyone else (including pets) to extreme heat conditions any longer than absolutely necessary.
DO take your pets out for short, limited walks.
DON’T leave your pets tethered outside, even if they have shelter and water. The heat affects them even more than it does us.

I’m not one to jump on an alarmist bandwagon, but this heat is serious business. Already, the Best Protected Great Barrier Reef Corals Are Now Dead, and there’s a ’99 Percent Chance’ 2016 Will Be Hottest Year on record. The easy-going summers of the past, where we could just sit in the shade and drink lemonade without a care in the world are, unfortunately, non-existent for anyone who lives in a city of any size. I’m not sure those out in the country are as safe as they once were.

Summer is here. We’re going to feel some heat and, like it or not, we can’t just run around naked all over the place. Take some precautions. Use some common sense. There’s still plenty of fun to be had, we just have to be careful about when and how we do it.

Just For Fun / PotD

Cooling Off Periods

May 28, 2016

The accepted definition of a serial killer is a person who kills at least three times with a cooling off period in between his murders. —Pat Brown

charles i. letbetter - cooling off period

If the summer is going to be as hot as forecast, we need to plan some cooling off periods

Climatologists and meteorologists have been warning us since April that 2016 is going to be the warmest year ever. There were a few days earlier this month when I would have challenged that forecast. We went through roughly a week where we had to fight with the kids to get them to wear coats on their way to the bus stop of the morning.

“But, it’s summer,” they would complain.

“But it’s 38 degrees,” we would respond.

That blip was apparently just a cooling off period, though. This summer may be a serial killer in the same sense as 2012 with daily temps over 100 and prolonged periods with no rain. We’re going to need some cooling off periods and we may have to create them ourselves.

No one should be sweating at 4:30 in the morning, but I was today. I took the dog out for our normal walk at 4:00 and by the time we returned my back was damp. Mind you, we don’t run, though the pup probably wouldn’t mind. We take a slow, casual stroll around the block to give him a chance to do his business while I think about what I’m going to write when we return. There’s usually a light breeze and the quiet solitude of being the only one on the street except for the paper boy (yeah, we still have one of those, but he drives a minivan now with one front blinker out). This morning had a breeze and was blissfully quiet (except for the helicopter making a quick pass over the speedway), but it was 74 degrees and humid as hell, if hell has humidity issues. Belvedere took straight to his water bowl upon returning while I took straight to the coffee pot. Cooling off is different for each of us. I am worried, though, to need a break so early in the morning isn’t a good sign.

Being hot on Memorial Day weekend isn’t that unusual, of course. In fact, the Indianapolis 500 isn’t the same experience without the sun bearing down into the snake pit, making sure everyone wakes up the next morning both hung over and sunburned. Race fans think cooling off is something one finds in a can of beer (bottles are not allowed), even though all they’re doing is dehydrating, which makes the hangover worse. Not having grown up here and not being a huge fan of watching cars go in circles, I have difficulty understanding the attraction to such inherent misery but, for many people, it’s a tradition they wouldn’t dream of missing no matter how hot it might get.

The rest of the summer is the greater challenge, though. Mother Nature can become a serial killer in July and August most any year. If we look back at 2012, the severe heat started in June and that seems to be the way things are shaping up for this year. Will she give us any cooling off periods? Better to not count on it. I think the more prudent move is to plan our own cooling off activities. Here are some of the considerations we’re entertaining at the moment:

Adult party in the kiddie pool. Our next door neighbor has a really nice above ground pool with a great deck and everything. He has regular parties over there (including one tonight) that are always fun and a bit rambunctious. The challenge is that pool takes a lot of his time to keep clean and at a temperature that doesn’t induce hypothermia. I don’t have that kind of time or energy. Instead, we have a kiddie pool. The little ones love it, but I’m thinking it can be great for cooling off our adult friends as well and we’re less likely to need a lifeguard. We can sit along the perimeter with our bare feet in the water while enjoying ice-cold adult beverages. Add some cool, fresh fruit and hors d’oeuvres and we’re set.
Naked mud photoshoot. We’ve not done one in a while. The pictures above were taken in 2010 and I don’t think I’ve done anything in the mud since. Two of the three young women have moved away, so we have opportunities here for new people to participate. Actually, this particular shoot was in April and turned off colder than we expected, especially when it came time to clean up. Rolling around in the mud is great for your skin and is very cooling for your body (which is why pigs like the mud as well). The pictures are always fun, sexy, and make all your friends jealous (not kidding).
Cook dinner on the grill. Air conditioners have to work hard enough during summers like this without adding to the challenge by heating up the whole house just to prepare a meal. Almost all your favorite foods can be prepared on the grill if you are willing to take a bit of time. Grilling is a great summertime tradition, anyway, so why not experiment with more than just hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken, and ribs? I’m planning on grilling brats and a beef roast tomorrow and am considering possibly grilling a lamb roast within the next week or two. The flavors are great, the heat stays outside, and everyone loves the food.
Explore new places to eat. Summer is, in my opinion, the best time to try new and different dining experiences. Food is more likely to be fresh and their attention to creating a pleasing environment usually means it won’t be too warm, even if the experience is al fresco. The menus also tend to reflect dishes more appropriate for summer: lighter cuts of meat, fewer heavy sauces, and plenty of fresh herbs. We tend to look for restaurants within easy walking distance of other activities good for cooling off, such as visiting a bookstore, art galleries, or live music. Sometimes we can even get lucky and find it all in one place!
Camping. The logic here is elementary: cities hold heat. A great way of cooling off, both physically and emotionally, is to “get the hell out of Dodge,” so to speak and go camping. Indiana is blessed with some really incredible state parks, most of which have cooling canyons and ravines and water that is appropriate for either swimming, wading, or boating. Tall, old trees provide plenty of shade and a gentle breeze, the kids have plenty of opportunities to explore, and if you plan well you might just find yourself relaxing a little bit. Granted, there are a number of uncontrollable variables with this option, and a good trip can go South in a hurry through no one’s fault. Still, the benefits outweigh the risks in most cases.

There’s nothing I can do about how hot this summer might be. Mother Nature doesn’t pay any attention when I gripe, so it’s just easier to find cooling off options that work regardless of the weather. We’ll survive this hottest year, you and me, and we may even have some fun in the process. We just need plenty of cooling off periods.

PotD / Status

Frustrating Frustrations

May 25, 2016

Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. —Martin Luther King, Jr.

charles i. letbetter - frustrating frustrations

I’m not one prone to endure frustrating situations in silence. If there’s a problem, people need to know.

Starting the day in a bad mood is rarely a good thing. Typically, when that happens it is the result of a bad dream and I can shake it, to some degree, by the time everyone else is awake. This morning, though, Kat and I were greeted by a frustrating situation before either of us were really ready to get up. Walking the dog helped tamp down my temper, but even that was frustrating as this nosey hound dog flushed a cat from its hiding spot and attempted to take off after it, nearly jerking his leash from my hand. Coffee helped, but I’m feeling a bit frustrated by that now as I look over and my cup is almost empty. I’ll have to stop and make more.

Much of what I find frustrating is beyond my control. Weather, for example. The forecast for each of the next five days holds some chance of rain and/or thunderstorms. We both know it won’t actually rain all those days, but as long as the barometric pressure remains below 30.12 In. I’m stuck trying to pretend that every joint in my body doesn’t hurt when I move. Not a damn thing I can do, legally, short of moving to Colorado. Even that doesn’t solve the problem but makes it more bearable.

I’m frustrated by my own errors. I sit here typing and there are too many times when my fingers and my mind are not in agreement as to exactly which version of they’re/there/their should be used or how a word is spelled. Such errors are frustrating because my head knows the correct usage and spelling. Somehow, though, the wrong synapses fire and my fingers get the wrong message and as I look back over a sentence I’ve just typed I find ridiculous errors that only a child should make. I expect better of myself. Of course, then I read an article from a major news outlet and find similar mistakes and don’t feel quite so bad.

Politics are frustrating. Continuously. This morning, it is the protests outside a political rally last night in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I’m frustrated not only because the two presumptive nominees are both total pieces of crap who will do our country significant harm, but because I fear the protests may lead to something worse. The situation is not aided by the fact that already disenfranchised people are being further disenfranchised by the candidates. Every time one of the candidates speak, people are given a reason to hate them all that much more. The system isn’t working and that’s frustrating.

Global unrest is beyond frustrating and, again, not a damn thing I can do about it. Talking with my son stationed in Okinawa brings frightening clarity to news reports of China conducting extended naval drills in the South China Sea. These are more than the standard defense preparedness drills in which every military organization participates. Such drills imply that more aggressive actions are being considered, if not planned. Add that to all the absolute nonsense in the Middle East and frustration is just the tip of the emotional iceberg.

The fact that it’s #NationalWineDay and I’m totally out of anything good is very frustrating. By “anything good” I mean anything that costs more than $5 a bottle. I’m not especially picky, though I do have an abundance of fruit that needs to be eaten so something white is probably a good choice. Of course, the closest liquor store doesn’t carry much wine. This is more of a beer neighborhood. That would be yet another point of frustration.

You should be getting the picture by now that there are plenty of frustrating things in my world, and I’m pretty sure there are plenty of frustrating things in your world. I could easily continue. Fencing we ordered has yet to arrive. Meetings that needed to be scheduled before the kids get out of school for the summer haven’t been. We don’t know what we’re doing with the kids all summer and we don’t have money for endless camps. The little brat across the street keeps stealing the Tipster’s tricycle from under the carport. And on and on and on.

Dealing with so much frustration could be fatal. My blood pressure is already high and not being sure what I’m doing for dinner tonight doesn’t help. I could have a heart attack or a stroke if I can’t find a set of pictures that I need. So, what do we do to combat these frustrations? Here’s my plan:

More coffee. We’re on our second pot this morning. I anticipate at least two more before Kat leaves for school. It’s just one of those days. Coffee keeps me from throwing things.
Nap with the dog. He’s a good hound dog who likes to sleep right on top of me. He has a good sense for knowing exactly when to lick my face.
Keep food easy. No elaborate preparations for anything today. At the moment, I’m favoring some form of salad for dinner. The kids love salad.
Avoid answering any messages that I already know are going to be upsetting. They are not critical to anyone’s life or death, so they will wait until I can respond without ripping someone’s head off their shoulders.
Stay the fuck off Facebook. I’m fortunate in that I can post to my page there without having to actually be on Facebook. What I see in my newsfeed too often makes me prone to acts of violence, such as slapping some sense into someone’s head. I don’t need that kind of trouble, so we’ll just stay away.
Smooches. Lots and lots of smooches, even if they have to be digital. Something tells me Kat’s guests wouldn’t especially like it if I walked onto the floor and starting smooching her up while she’s trying to color someone’s hair. So, we’ll keep our smooches digital. That is better than nothing.
Chocolate. We keep a stash hidden just for days like this.

The one other thing that could help isn’t immediately available: shooting a new set of nudes. I didn’t have the foresight to schedule anyone. If you’re reading this and want to volunteer, you know how to contact me. Just do it before Belvedere and I take our nap. We both get frustrated when someone interrupts our nap . One of us is likely to bite. Not saying which one.

We’ll get past this frustrating day. We almost always do. Just don’t do anything stupid and we should be fine.

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Page 1 of 3

coffee

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We must do something about the terror that hasn’t happened

The Short Version

Brace Yourself, This Isn’t Pretty

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Found on the digital floor

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Butter doesn’t cover the cancer-causing ingredients

The Short Story

A Little More Detail

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Our first editorial shoot of the year didn’t go as planned

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Just a sample of what’s coming

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A muse today is different than 10 years ago

A muse doesn’t need to look like a goddess

A muse doesn’t have to be a model

Muses allow an artist to plan

Muses understand the intersection of life and art

Muses find synchronization with an artist

Muses know the work isn’t about them

Muses are flexible

Muses don’t last forever

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Moms are human, too

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A reminder that color can exist in a black and white world

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Because holidays aren’t fun if you play them straight

What’s the deal?

None of this makes any sense

‘Tis The Season To Be Greedy

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Once again, the moronic among us are upset about Starbuck’s new coffee cups.

So, we created some sleeves of our own to put over our paper cups this holiday season.

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I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don’t worry it’s not the end of the world. —Jay London

What We Say Isn’t Always What We’re Thinking

You are too expensive. I can’t afford you.

I just want a disk of images

Just put them online for us to look at

What is the cheapest way I can get an image for Facebook?

Can I see all the photos?

You don’t mind that I brought all of our cousins along, do you?

We really love our clients.

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You don’t have to have a hard-on to bungee jump.—Andrew in Humpday (2009)

A Little Bit Of Day Music

A Little Light Reading

A Little Light Exercise

We Can Do This

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Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep. —Fran Drescher

Contents May Be Hot

Just A Bit Sexist

A Little Privacy, Please

My, What An Interesting Growth You Have There

Sharing Isn’t Always Caring

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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo. —Erma Bombeck

The Joy Of A Photo

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Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. —Earl Wilson