After four months of not working due to chemotherapy effects, money is running out. Going back to what we did last year isn’t an option. In fact, it may have contributed to the leukemia getting as bad as it did. So, here’s a quick poll of the most obvious options. Write answers in as many of the options as you wish. Answers can be as simple as Yes or No, but I’d love it if you’d explain your answer. An explanation of the options is below the survey. Scroll down if you want to read those before making your decision.
Obviously, this is what I know best and have the most experience doing. However, at this point, doing so means finding someone willing to help invest in the cost of equipment, studio space, and portfolio models, in addition to basic business costs. The estimated total comes to about $50,000. That’s a lot of money! The only way that begins to make sense is to charge a minimum of $300 for a basic photoshoot. Are people willing to pay that? I don’t know, and the cost of doing such a survery exceed my budget.
I’ve never been involved in book PR all that much. Online sales alone aren’t cutting it. This is an example of having to spend money in order to make money. Only, I don’t have any money. I would need a sponsor to cover travel expenses and pay for copies of the books to sell at the event. I have only the most vague idea how any of this works, so I would need some serious and detailed advice.
I can do this. I’ve always been able to do this. Remember, growing up there was a pretty decent chance I would be a preacher. I’ve had the training. So, why not put that to good use? I could speak on topics such as 10 Things Photography Taught Me About Life, or My Mother Wouldn’t Approve Of You, among other things. For this to work, I’d need to charge a minimum of $1000 per event, plus travel and expenses. Who would want me to come speak?
This one is frustrating because we’ve had prints on sale online for quite a while and, despite the number of people who browse, no one ever buys. It could be the content, I’m willing to accept that. But what would sell? How do we make online sales work without hiring a third party?
This lovely piece of advice seems to be the default answer from most PR people. Okay. I have merch for sale. No one buys it, even when I’m pushing it aggressively. If I’m going to sell more merchandise, I need to know what types of merchandise people are most likely to buy. This could be challenging given the narrow markups on things such as t-shirts and other clothing. I need some direction here.
This is what we have. If you have other ideas or care to offer some clarification on any of the subjects, feel free to contact me!
Cancer sucks. Chemo isn’t much better. And between the two, one quickly realizes that, even with all the medical assistance available, living another 90 years probably isn’t happening. As a result, I’ve started thinking hard about what I’d like to do before I die. You know, those pie-in-the-sky items that were never urgent until I realized I might not get to do any of them if I don’t say anything. The result is this bucket list.
I posted the first five on Facebook a few days ago and will be posting the others there later today. However, the formatting on FB doesn’t really give me a chance to provide detail for individual items. I also am keenly aware that numbering the entries establishes an implied priority that isn’t necessarily true. Of the twenty items below, only the first two are extremely important. The first is because many of the others can’t happen until that one is achieved. The second is not really in my control at all. I don’t know that any of my kids will have children and it’s not my place to push them to do so.
All the others are arbitrary regarding an order. 19 can come before 3. 14 can happen most any time. What’s more important is that they be approached realistically, not haphazardly. If I’m going to do something, it needs to create a positive experience, not a disaster.
Hence, the reason for this post. I want to do more than present a list. I want to look at the cost, the obstacles, and any prerequisites for achieving them. Be aware that any pricing provided is an estimate and is subject to change. Economic and political factors may also contribute to the degree to which some bucket list items are possible at any given time.
Without any further rhetoric, here’s the full list.
This is at the very top of the list because a fair number of the other items require this one to be completed. I can’t take pictures anywhere of anyone if I don’t have a camera and related equipment, and currently, I have nothing except my phone.
This isn’t going to be cheap and I’ll need a lot of help. I’ve started a wish list on Amazon, but it’s still incomplete and, honestly, I’d rather purchase from Roberts since they’re local. The current price for everything I have on the list is roughly $9060.55 plus tax. However, the list only includes one lens and we all know that’s not going to be enough. There’s also going to be the issue of padded containers to carry everything safely. This isn’t going to be cheap, but it’s necessary.
Of all the items on this list, this is the only one over which I have absolutely no control. I have five kids, two of which are still young teens. Of the three that are already adults, only one has expressed any desire for offspring.
As much as I adore babies and would love to have a dozen grandkids, it’s not my choice. I cannot and would not attempt to force any of my kids to procreate. Bringing another child into the world is a huge decision and it’s not my call to make.
However, you can be quite sure that I will throw one helluva party if/when it ever happens.
This one has two separate pieces and could get quite pricey the longer it’s delayed.
The first part is composition. In theory, this part should be cheap, only the cost of staff paper, which I can get on Amazon for only $10. However, my brain doesn’t work as well as it did 40 years ago. Composing needs a lot of help. So, toss in all the digital equipment necessary to make the required demo, and we’re looking at a price tag of around $10K.
Then comes the orchestra part. Ideally, if the composition is strong and the demo is good, we could convince an orchestra to include it as part of their regularly scheduled performances. However, if I’m the only one who likes it (which happens), then I’d have to rent the entire ensemble. The cost for that, based on today’s union prices, is around $60,000 for a single performance.
I’m thankful to be quite familiar with my indigenous heritage. What we didn’t know until a few years ago, however, is that Grandpa Slover’s family can be traced all the way back to at least 15th-century Calais, France, where they were teachers and, quite criminally, protestants in a country run by Catholics.
I’d love to visit Calais with enough time to deeply explore this minority portion of our family roots. Pricing this, though, is perilous. Round trip from IND can be anywhere from $1,000 to $31,000 based on current pricing. Hotels are reasonably around $100 a night and food and ancillary items for a month are going to run around $4,000.
No one who knows me at all should be surprised that horses are somewhere on this list. Were I younger, I’d want to own a dozen rescue horses. But at my age, that’s just foolish.
Instead, what I’d like to do is spend a foaling season (February to March in most cases) on a large horse rescue, taking pictures of all the newborns. Rescue horses are special, typically having endured very rough lives before being snatched from a slaughter pen. When a rescue mare breeds, the foals are especially meaningful. I want to be there to capture all the details and love on the horses. Bonus points if they’re draft breeds.
I’ve been in love with trains almost from the moment I was born. Grandpa Slover worked for the now-defunct Rock Island Railway and I remember taking the train to go visit him.
Given the current climate of air travel, I much prefer taking the train rather than flying. The idea of going from New York to LA on the train, taking pictures all along the way, is an exciting thought.
How much would it cost? There’s some flexibility here, but generally speaking, around $3k per person, plus food. For practical and safety reasons, I’d need to take someone with me, so double that price.
This is one that Kat and I have talked about for a long time. We both love to travel and leasing an RV and touring the country, me taking pictures, her doing hair and makeup, is a desirable adventure for both of us.
Taking a full year, though? That could be challenging. We certainly can’t do it until the kids are done with school and capable of taking care of themselves. Even then, we don’t know what Kat’s salon situation might be.
RV rentals don’t work the same as car leasing. To be on the road for a full year, we’d likely have to rent at least four different vehicles. The cost would run around $1,500 a month plus expenses.
There are times when it’s nice to travel without the pressure of having to take pictures for a client. An all-inclusive Caribbean resort has been on my list for a long time but has yet to happen.
Pricing fluctuates a lot but going this time of year, March-April offers some pretty good pricing with many under $500/person for a two-week stay.
There are some caveats. Political forces weigh heavily on any travel to the Caribbean. At the moment, Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, and Haiti all come with significant risks. Aruba, Turks & Cacaos, and other southern islands are more hospitable.
I could never do a fashion week anywhere as a tourist. My shutter finger would get itchy. If I’m going to go, it’s with a camera in hand, and if I have a camera, I want to be backstage, not in the pit, armpit-to-armpit with every other photographer.
Of all the shows, my strong preference would be to shoot Dior. Maria Grazia Chiuri has done wonderful things with the line since taking over in 2016. Getting in, though, is more about having the right connections, and I don’t have them anymore. Neither are fashion designers known for charitable attitudes towards photographers. This one could be quite a stretch.
Everyone wants to be a movie star, but that’s a dream for the young. At this point in life, my only realistic shot is in a low-paying walk-on role.
I’ll take it, especially if it’s one that is critical to moving the plot along. I don’t need a lot of lines, because my memory isn’t reliable. Just toss me in there for a minute, and then make me disappear. Bonus points if I can save the heroine in the process.
I’m not looking for anything that warrants an IMDb listing, just something that creates fun stories to tell after the fact.
I’ve had the pleasure of eating in some very nice restaurants over the course of the past 60 years. However, even if I was dining on someone else’s tab, I’ve always worried about how much my meal cost and whether I was imposing on my host.
For example, St. Elmo’s Steakhouse, right here in Indy, is one of the top-rated restaurants in the country. I’ve never been. Why? A steak can cost as much as $135, ala carte. The full meal, with wine, is going to run around $300 per person. My mind has difficulty accepting that I could ever be worth that level of expense.
I’d love for that to change.
I know either Kat or me, if not both, have friends who can help make this one happen. This is not your average drag show, though. Think “America’s Got Talent,” but in drag, and all the acts are done karaoke style. If you don’t think that would be a wildly fun evening, you’ve lived too sheltered a life.
I want to host the show, but not produce it. I’m not that talented. And we need top-notch judges, not some random person pulled off the street or the producer’s second cousin who took a music class once in college. Make it worthwhile for everyone and let’s have fun!
As a photographer, I hate weddings. They’re a pain in the backside with too little reward. As an officiant, though, they can be a lot of fun. I watched Poppa perform weddings everywhere from our living room to the school gymnasium. Only once did anything go terribly wrong (the bride fainted… twice).
I’m ordained (Church of the Latter-Day Dude), which makes it perfectly legal in like 46 of the 50 states. And given how much they’re under political attack, I’d love to perform dozens upon dozens of weddings for people in the LGBTQ+ community. They have just as much a right to eternal misery as the rest of us.
I’m cheap as long as there’s free food involved. Let’s make this happen!
First off, the name is misspelled in the image. It’s fArrier, not fErrier.
Second, this one may be a genuine pipe dream. To become a licensed farrier, one has to complete a four-year apprenticeship. It’s like going to college all over again, and it cost about as much.
Would it be worth the time and expense? Hell yeah! Do I have the time to justify the expense? Probably not. I could reasonably take a horseshoeing class and become certified in just that aspect, but a lot of draft horses, which I love, have more advanced hoof problems, especially if their rescues. This is a tough one.
We need to do this again, in some place that actually matters. Solo exhibitions are tough to come by, and getting one in a gallery that actually attracts collectors is even more difficult. Once again, it’s not so much cost as it is connections that make something like this happen.
But I don’t just want a simple photography exhibit. I’ve been bored by too many of those. Let’s get real with some artistic eroticism that pushes the envelope of the definition. I’ve been sitting on several images that NO ONE has seen. To be able to share them in a place of prominence would be an indescribable thrill.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I had a five-foot bullwhip and was getting pretty damn good with the thing. I was 10. I’ve no idea what happened to it. It just disappeared. I blame parental fear.
I don’t believe in whipping animals. There are better means of controlling them that are more humane.
Humans, however, are a different story. Some of them ask for it, which requires just the right touch to keep from inflicting serious harm. And then, there’s the crafty ability to use a whip to disarm a person. That could come in quite handy.
A good 12-foot hand-braided whip is going to run around $1,450ish. Worth it.
This one is all about merging my fascination with boating and photography. If we’re going to do it, let’s get some heart-stopping images out of it.
Cost is going to be the overwhelming factor here. The average price for yacht rental out of Miami is roughly $2,200/day. We might get a slightly better rate renting one for an entire month, but we’re still looking at something north of $60K.
And then, there are the models. Just go ahead and double the cost. At least. The joy of the trip might help keep rates down, but at the end of the day, everyone has bills to pay.
The potential for incredible pictures, though, makes it worth every dime. Maybe I could sell sponsorships (as if I knew how).
My books don’t sell in large numbers and, to some extent, I’m okay with that. The exception is when I think I have something wonderful and no one pays any attention. A Path in the Storm is a good example. I consider this to be among the best things I’ve ever written. It’s also a helluva lot cheaper than the photo books. However, to date, it’s only sold four copies, and three of those were mine.
Just once, I’d love to see one of my books get the attention it deserves and blow the top off the best-seller charts. That doesn’t just happen, though. There are entire PR teams involved. I can’t afford those.
Maybe if everyone I’ve ever known bought a copy, we could start a grassroots movement.
Coming of age around Tahlequah, Oklahoma was a unique experience. It was there I learned a great deal about my indigenous heritage and grew to appreciate all my ancestors had sacrificed.
But I never was able to attend the National Holiday. The event is held annually on Labor Day weekend in September, and in the 1970s, involved a lot of drinking. A High School classmate was killed because of a drunk driver leaving the celebration in 1977.
Things have changed dramatically since those days, and for the better. I would love to return and photograph the entire weekend, but since I’m not a tribe member (there’s a reason), I would need permission to do so. I know I have the contacts. It just needs to happen.
I think the question almost everyone has at some point is “How will I be remembered?” What stories will be told? Will anyone care that I’m gone?
My final bucket list item, which I’m in no hurry to get achieve, is to be remembered in a way that is positive and enduring. I want people to smile when they think of the time we spent together, and I want those who missed out to feel sad that they won’t get the opportunity.
There’s no price on this one. It’s all up to me.
I know I’m not the only person who is a wee bit disturbed by the current popularity of the Lensa app which has people giving this relatively unknown company multiple photos of themselves so that their AI bots can work magic. Lensa is owned by the software company Prisma, based in Sunnyvale, CA. The app was first launched in 2018 as a digital background remover (the one thing it does reasonably well) and recent additions have marketed it as a selfie-improvement app. And the Internet, being as vain as it has always been, was quick to notice. Lensa was the #2 most-downloaded app in the US this past week.
HOWEVER, AI isn’t perfect and we’re not seeing all the images that the app creates. One dear friend was brave enough to share one of Lensa’s less-than-stellar results.
Mangled fingers, crossed eyes, and a chunk missing from her left arm are just the most noticeable problems with the AI-produced image. [Significantly better pictures of Shannon are in my book, We Did It In The Tub. Click the link to purchase your copy!]
AI is flashy and new and easy to use without knowing a damn thing about digital imagery. I understand why it’s so popular. As I was discussing with a friend who just happens to be a therapist (she was a friend first), artists have had to deal for centuries with the vanity of people not wanting their portraits to look “too real.” We want what we perceive to be our flaws covered or masked or, at the very least, diminished to the point no one notices them. Portraits of world leaders from the 14th century and beyond can hardly be considered authentic because being too accurate could cause an artist their job, or possibly even their life! What the AI is doing isn’t new, just faster!
So, how do we respond to this challenge? I can only answer for myself and thanks to the effects of that lovely chemo pill I’m taking my answer has to be brief. Let me show you how an image progresses in my hands. We’ll start with one from 2009. Here’s the original RAW image:
The image was shot using natural light relatively late on a summer afternoon. This is real. If we’re being totally honest with ourselves, there’s nothing here to not like. She’s a beautiful young woman.
Now, here’s how I originally edited this image in 2009:
One can see that, at the time, I chose to remove the puffiness under her eyes, darken her skin tone, and give just a minimal amount of balance to her flesh tone. There’s not a lot of editing here and I doubt I spent more than 30 minutes with the image.
Now, what happens when I drop the same image into the current version of Photoshop with all its built-in AI tools and let them run havoc over the whole thing? I couldn’t bring myself to show anyone that original image. It was a mess! Her features were completely blurred, the new background was totally inappropriate for the image, and the highlights were completely blown out. Nope, you’re not seeing that one.
However, when Photoshop drops a bomb like that, the image is still recoverable! All the effects are added in layers, so each piece can be manipulated until one achieves a suitable image. Is the process fast? Oh hell, no! My sick ass spent roughly four hours fixing that mess. Here’s the end result:
I’m still not sure what’s going on with that background. While it’s better than the first one, it gives the appearance that she’s a giant floating among the trees, or something of that nature. I’m also reasonably sure that the dear girl in question has never worn that much makeup, or at least not that color, in her life. While I know who it is, I doubt facial recognition software would identify her. At this point, this is a picture of a different person.
Okay, that’s one image. But would the results be the same with one that was, let’s say, shot in the studio? Well, let’s find out. Here’s a raw image shot in the studio in 2010.
I only processed one image from this series before now, so I don’t have a comparison shot to show you. I turned AI look with the basic “clean up” of the image, removing background spots and noise. Here’s how it handled that task:
Uhm, okay. The ways it “softened” her features really aren’t acceptable, in my opinion, but for the sake of the experiment, I’ll let it go. For now. The photo is still rather bland, though, so I let AI select a background for the image. Here’s how that went:
Ugh. Holy perspective, Batman! There’s a giantess in the middle of the road! The sun is still behind her (allegedly) and there’s no shadow!I Shadows are something AI seems to struggle with quite often. I did some work on the perspective by hand and then let AI take over once more. I gave it instructions to change her hair and eye color and to make the image more electric. The results returned required a lot of intervention, especially in blending the various layers. Four hours and a nap later, here are the final results:
Well … at least you can see the “electric” part. But who is that person? I am not sure how to begin describing everything going on in this image! And once again, the model is indistinguishable in this presentation. I know I wouldn’t want this thing floating around as something I’d done by hand! This is … something less than acceptable.
The one photo from this series that I processed, looks like this:
I assume you can see and appreciate the difference.
Whether we like it or not, AI is going to be a part of digital photo processing. There’s no escaping it. What’s important is that we make a distinction between the real and the fake. Since “deep fakes” are already an issue, and AI is only going to complicate that realm, I won’t be surprised if at some point in the future there has to be some legally-binding declaration of authenticity on ID photos and the like.
In the meantime, I’m going to keep doing things the hard way, taking my time, fussing over this and that, and giving the AI something to watch.
WHY AM I STILL SICK?
I miss everything this holiday season because this stupid virus won’t disappear. Since I won’t see costumes until after the fact, I decided to undress some of my favorite people who I happen to know are full of magik. They rarely use their powers for evil (unless you cross them), but they are seductive healers who can force a smile on the most belligerent of faces. We took some liberties, of course. You’d never catch them actually looking like this. They’d disappear before you had the chance, and by then you’d already be under their spell.
There are worse things that could happen, though.
Nothing changes faster than technology. When I purchased my first digital camera in 2003, image files needed to be small to upload to the internet. They weren’t the highest quality to begin with. Yet, over the years, as hard drives have crashed and discs were corrupted, there are many instances where those images saved to various online accounts are the only versions i have left.
Technology to the rescue. While today’s cameras are considerably stronger and have the ability to take much higher resolution images, the software has often lagged in keeping up. Only in the past couple of years has it become genuinely feasible to go back and rework some favorite images.
Eventually, I’ll want to revisit everything shot before 2020. For now though, hers a first set of several favorites from the past 20 years. I wish i could remember the names of all the models, but too many have long escaped me. I hope they’re all doing well and enjoying their lives.
And I hope you enjoy these images. Remember, click on any of the pictures below to view them full screen on your device.
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What you see below is the last picture we took as a professional photographer. I am now retired. Well, okay, officially not until midnight New Year’s Eve, but for all practical purposes, this is it. And, just as there was a story to my first professional picture, there’s a story to this one. Typing it out, though, felt bland. So, I’ve put that story on this week’s podcast on Old Man, Talking. You’ll find the whole explanation there as well as a brief discussion of what comes next.
As we’ve said a couple of times recently, thank you for your many years of support. We move on now thankful for all the friends we’ve made, the lives we’ve touched, and the beauty we’ve brought to the world. Goodbye.
This was the year that broke the proverbial camel’s back. After 37 years, we decided that the costs were too high, the effort too great, and the frustrations too often to bother continuing as a photographer. Officially, we pull the plug on New Year’s Day, but barring some exceptional occurrence, we’ve already taken the last picture. The camera is safely stowed in case I decide to pull it out again, but it’s out of the way, out of sight, and hibernating. One of my chores today is to remove the lights from the back of the car and store them out in the shed along with my tripod and reflectors. We’re done.
Sort of. As slow as this year started, the last six months have been full of activity, much more than we’ve had time to process. Much of this was intentional. I wanted to have enough new material to still enter juried shows for the next couple of years (assuming they survive). As a result, I still have several hundred unprocessed images waiting for my attention. I won’t release them as regularly as I have before, and when I do it may be a single image rather than a full set.
From a public perspective, we’re taking this website into archive mode. There will be no information about booking or hiring. We’ll re-work the portfolios and they’ll take a dominant position on the front page in video format. New material will be toward the bottom of the front page and most easily accessible through social media posts.
Can I be coaxed into shooting again? Maybe. We’ll see how it goes. If I do, it will be on a shoot-by-shoot basis. The concepts need to be original and enticing, something I’ve never shot before, and the people involved need to be exciting. And it will cost more. Just getting everything checked and out the door is going to be more of an effort, so the price is going to be higher. No, I still won’t shoot your wedding. I’ll officiate if you ask (yes, I can do that), but I won’t take pictures.
So, here’s a brief glance back at what we did this year. There’s not a lot. Jan-April was pretty slim. We didn’t post anything the entire month of May because there wasn’t anything to post. That’s largely what prompted this decision. As always, click on a thumbnail to view to collection full screen on your device. Thank you for all the years you’ve watched, encouraged, and commented. We’ll miss you.
-charles
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Most years I’ve struggled to find anyone who wanted to shoot a holiday set, especially one that was even mildly erotic. The last holiday set we did was three years ago when I coerced family into pretending to be Santa and his elves. The sexiest holiday set, though, was shot ten years ago. That model has now moved West and recently gave birth to her second child. A lot has changed. Kids have grown. Lives move on and, hopefully, improve.
The gaps between those years, though, are telling. The greater majority of the time, I haven’t shot in December at all. People are too busy, concerned with whatever is going on in their own lives. It’s been a good time to update the website, do an annual review, and make plans for the next year. The absence of a holiday set is not something that has been egregiously noticeable. No one’s pounding on my door, anxious to get in some holiday portraits.
This year is different, though. A little over a week ago, I happened to find myself at FocusOn Studio at the same time as a group of friends and acquaintances who were all gung-ho about getting in some final shots before I put up the camera. They came with ideas in tow and we filled the evening casually moving between taking pictures and pleasant conversations. The sets weren’t excessively large, we processed five or six photos from each, just enough to capture an emotion or a brief storyline. They’re as fun and enjoyable as we all want our holidays to be.
So, here is my final holiday gift to you: five fun, erotic sets filled with holiday spirit. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. With all the sets, remember to click on a thumbnail to view the images fullscreen on your device.
Those who’ve been paying attention for several years know that Shibari, the Japanese form of body rope art, is something I’ve enjoyed shooting. My first date with Kat involved shooting a rope suspension set. Some of my best pictures have been along this theme. Being invited to shoot this particular set was an unexpected honor. The person tying normally takes his own pictures and did on this instance as well. He requested that I shoot at the same time, however, because the nature of the suspension was such that he needed to be free to act quickly should anything go wrong. There’s always a risk level to these shoots and everyone I’ve worked with has always been diligent about safety. This was no exception. The set was fun to shoot and makes a beautiful end to that part of my career.
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You should have seen the expression on her face when I showed her the rocking horse. That she’s well past the age when most people amuse themselves in such fashion was irrelevant. Her excitement was contagious and fueled this fun holiday set. Sure, the horse is only in one shot, but sometimes one little thing is all it takes to take a set from meh to marvelous. We can only hope everyone has this joyous a holiday.
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I’ve always been careful about shooting with the sets available at FocusOn because I know they appear in hundreds, perhaps thousands, of other pictures shot by other photographers and I’m reluctant to shoot something that might appear as though I’m copying someone else’s work. After we shot The Santa Suspension, though, I looked at this facade, noticed some nearby fabric, and had an idea. The concept is a bit involved, so bear with me.
In the now-classic Christmas movie Home Alone, Kevin watches and makes use of a faux movie called Angels With Filthy Souls. While the movie inside of a movie is fake, it’s based on a 1938 movie with James Cagney called Angels With Dirty Faces. Cagney plays a gangster (a frequent role for him) trying to corrupt a bunch of street kids, mostly teens and young adults.
The concept of playing off a religious theme in reference to something obviously not religious isn’t new, but as I pinned the fabric to the model’s hair, there was no denying the angelic overtones created. Perhaps, had we put her in a white or light blue gown, the images might have resembled religious iconography. We didn’t do that, though. She’s damn-near naked and the resulting juxtaposition is, in my opinion, nothing short of glorious.
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Almost from the moment it was published, How The Grinch Stole Christmas! became a holiday classic. We’ve read the book, watched the movies, and been constantly amused by the multiple iterations and representations of the green grouch who threatens to spoil the holidays for everyone in Whoville. Over the years, I’ve been amused at how seriously we take the story. Psychological analysis has been done not only on the Grinch, who some look upon with sympathy for having been bullied and outcast but also on the citizens of Whoville and their obsession with the holiday. Our attachment to the Grinch is personal.
The story in this set runs along the line of a voluptuous young woman offering our nearly-naked Grinch the simple gift of a ribbon and, by the end, maybe a little more. This is no children’s bedtime story. Think of it more as holiday cosplay with a happy ending.
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Everyone gets all hyped over the gift-giving holidays and the tales and legends of the jolly old gift-giver in the red suit. The emotion and energy employed getting us to December 25 outdo any effort on any project the rest of the year. Our entire focus is on that one day.
And what happens afterward? For many, it’s the busiest shopping day of the year and returns and exchanges are made while others try to take advantage of end-of-year inventory sales. The assumption is that Santa goes home and snuggles in bed, presumably with Mrs. Claus, and takes a long nap. But as he does, who’s minding the shop? Admittedly, there wouldn’t be a whole lot to do on the day after Christmas. A normally busy admin might tend to get a bit bored and with no one else at the North Pole working that day, she might just find creative ways to amuse herself. This is what happens when Santa forgets that very specific toy she wanted.
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There you have them, five wonderfully erotic sets for the holidays. What a fun way to close out the year! Yes, I’ll post a year-end review on Sunday, but I wanted to offer this special entry that I hope you’ll remember for years to come.
Putting a video at the top of the page has become a habit that I’m sad to break. Losing our video host this week was devastating. While we found another host, we were sad to discover that the playback quality was severely lacking. This puts me in the position of deciding to hold off on any new videos until we can move everything to a private server. There’s little point in presenting a video that isn’t going to represent the quality we’ve worked hard to maintain.
Still, we have pictures. We always have pictures. And this week we look at a series of photos we shot earlier this fall that I find defining in some ways. The BDSM Kink dictionary defines the term Brat as “A submissive who is deliberately uncooperative, topping from the bottom, pretending to be young, for the purpose of eliciting attention and/or punishment from their Dom.” The definition fits the DC Comics character of Harley Quinn quite well. She’s submissive only to Joker, and even then only on her terms. A Brat doesn’t view their limited submissiveness as a weakness because they know they are always in control, no matter what their Dom might say.
With that definition in mind, it’s of little surprise that the familiar red and blue costume with colored hair is a popular look come late October. We see various interpretations and renditions frequently. Most of the time, however, the costume is make-believe, a momentary act, taking on the role of a character the actress probably doesn’t understand. Harley Quinn is complicated, after all. The character started life as Dr. Harleen Quinzel, a young psychologist caught up in the fascination of Joker’s deep and dark psychosis. She’s no fool and should never be taken for one. If she sometimes comes off as a bit ditzy it’s for the purpose of mentally disarming her opponent.
Capturing that personality came rather easily for our model because she is, as much as the character she portrays, a Brat. A brilliant young person with a mischievous bent, she is confident, disarming, and full of life. So much so that in processing these pictures, I found myself questioning whether I was playing to the fictional character of DC Comics or the real character of our model. Fortunately, our model doesn’t have a homicidal streak to her (at least, not one that I know). She is often compassionate and caring for those most vulnerable. But, like the character she plays here, she can be defensive of those for whom she cares, and yes, she knows how to swing that bat.
What we end up with is a set of portraits that are part Cosplay, and part personality study. One can revel in the fiery defiance of the Brat without losing the deep sense of humanity and emotional depth hiding beneath the costume. The images are fun and sexy and still reflective. We hope you enjoy them.
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The pandemic isn’t over. Plenty of people are still quarantined for at least a week following exposure to COVID-19. If you’re locked in with a partner or playmate, then you have sufficient distractions. You can hold a conversation, or argue over what to stream next. If you’re by yourself, though, the options are less, and if you don’t keep yourself busy that line of insanity inches closer with each passing second. Hobbies are only good as long as one has supplies. We learned last year the dangers of eating everything in sight. How does one stay busy?
You know-how. We’re not going to pretend that masturbation isn’t a regular activity regardless of what else one might be doing, but online sales of vibrators and other personal pleasure instruments have skyrocketed the past two years as we’ve looked for new and exciting ways to keep some form of pleasure in our lives. This is part of who we are, a natural expression of pleasure that begins before we’re born. There’s no reason to be shy or ashamed in admitting that.
Instead, let’s celebrate the beauty. Let’s celebrate the freedom that comes from being in control of your own body. Let’s celebrate the wonder of deriving pleasure from yourself, for yourself, without needing the complications of another person. That’s not saying that relationships aren’t nice, but being in lockdown by yourself isn’t necessarily a complete negative.
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There’s nothing particularly sexy about the average set of stairs in the average house. Sure, there are some wonderfully exotic staircases in special places around the world, but when it comes to the normal subdivision in the typical suburban neighborhood, the stairs are designed to be utilitarian, not statement pieces. Occasionally, especially this time of year, one might see a banister decorated a bit, giving the staircase its only bit of pizazz, but the rest of the year we hardly think of them beyond how tiring it is having to go up and down them all the time.
All that changes, however, when one places one of our favorite blondes on the staircase and then steals her clothes. Okay, we didn’t actually steal her clothes. She had already disposed of them before we got to this point. Still, one shouldn’t be the least bit surprised at the degree to which such a lovely body lends a whole new perspective to a set of stairs. Suddenly, they’re more than just a means of conveyance from one floor to the next. They’re an attractive and interesting frame for an incredibly sexy figure.
Staircases all over the world long for this kind of attention, this moment in the sun when they’re not being trampled upon by mindless feet that didn’t bother wiping off the mud first. In a world filled with mediocrity and boredom, an event like this is a distant dream for most staircases. Sure, we wish we could put an attractive naked person on every staircase in every home, but the chances of that are too slim and, quite honestly, there’s no way we could photograph them all.
Until there is more sexiness on more staircases, this photoset will have to make do in providing you the kind of multilevel entertainment you desire. Click on a thumbnail to see the image full screen and enjoy the view.
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Birthdays should be a big deal, in my opinion. Think of it as your personal holiday, a celebration not only of the fact you were born but that you somehow managed to survive another year, a task that doesn’t get any easier as one gets older. To make it this far, we’ve had to survive storms, floods, fires, accidents, injuries, and disease. The past two years, we’ve had to fight off the coronavirus, leukemia, hypertension, anxiety, and diabetes. While in the moment, none of these fights seemed especially herculean. Just another day. Looking back, though, I am sometimes surprised that, woah, we’ve made it to birthday #61.
I wanted to do something big this year. Since I’m putting down the camera (for the most part) at the end of the year, I wanted to do something memorable, something a little different. Some of you who’ve been around for a while might remember the big shoot we did nine years ago. For those with a faulty memory, or who weren’t paying attention, let me remind you of that event.
See how much younger I looked then? Sadly, I’ve not seen several of those sweet people since those shots were taken. Many have moved away, had children, started totally new lives that don’t involve standing around naked in front of my camera. Such is the way life goes. Most of them are happier and that’s what counts.
But I wanted to do it again, only bigger, and different: not as many models, more body shapes, and hey, why not toss in some guys this time around. The more I thought about the idea, the more I knew I would need help making this one happen. I reached out to my friend Meghan who seems to know almost everyone or how to get in touch with them. We sat down over coffee and planned how to make the last couple of months of shooting worthwhile, including a particularly large shoot for my birthday.
You know, today.
Ultimately, we settled on interrupting a regularly scheduled photo event at Focus On Studio in Carmel. The event draws plenty of people who have little hesitancy toward getting naked in front of cameras. We asked them to pose for two pictures: one in sleepwear (however they choose to define it), and the second, nude. I wanted to have even more people this time around than nine years ago but knew that could be a challenge. It’s always an issue with these things that some people who want to be there can’t make it. Things happen.
I was pleased with the turnout, the eagerness with which people participated, and the fact that this year’s photos look a lot different than those nine years ago. Sure, there are still people I would have liked to include, but I’m not unhappy about the results. My world has changed significantly from nine years ago; it’s only fitting that my birthday photos would as well.
So, here they are, the last large-group photos, for my birthday. My thanks to Meghan and everyone who participated. Happy Birthday to me!
I don’t like shooting underwater. I tried it several years ago, before cameras were digital, and found that I was too focused on my own breathing, making sure that the camera casing wasn’t leaking, and watching out for jellyfish to focus on getting good pictures. I haven’t tried it again since. I make that caveat right here at the front so no one gets the idea that I actually asked this delightful couple to make repeated dives without as much as a snorkel in order to capture these photos.
The photos were shot back in mid-October (just a hint of how large my current backlog is), in a studio, at the end of a session where we had shot hundreds of other photos on a totally unrelated topic. It was raining out. and having long been a fan of the movie Dancing in the Rain, I thought it might be fun to play off that concept and I would add the rain in post.
Time does an interesting thing to one’s perspective, though, and by the time I got around to actually processing the photos, I was feeling a need to create something more fun, to the point of being ridiculous. After a bit of experimentation, layering multiple effects on top of each other, we came up with a look that seems quasi-believable if one would choose to dispense with the whole needing-to-breathe thing. Are there still issues? Sure. The light displacement wouldn’t be as consistent, among other things. But we’re not after that level of accuracy, are we? We’re having fun, not trying to create an alternative reality.
And fun is what I think we achieved, which is why I’ve saved them for this Sunday. We need something light, not heavily introspective, no social commentary hidden in the context, or any expectation that the photos might change one’s perspective of the world. There is enough seriousness wandering around at the moment. We need images to help us smile, to imagine what it would be like trying to open an umbrella underwater and take our minds off the stress for a moment. I hope this set of photos does that for you. Enjoy.
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Friday night after a long week at work. It’s pouring rain and the chill in the air leaves no question to the coming winter cold. A warm bowl of soup. A hot cup of tea. You’re relaxed and cuddled up next to the person you care about. You take a deep breath and relax. Life may be far from perfect, but at this moment it’s at least comfortable and that’s saying something.
You’re neither one in the mood to go out. There’s nothing overly exciting to watch on television. Another cup of tea, a little guitar, and you both realize it’s a little warm inside. Shirts come off, blankets come out. You move close together, enjoying the feel of each other’s bodies. You’re feeling good, and you’re both in the mood for a little bit of intimate pleasure. It starts with a soft touch, and then…
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A Unique Look At The Photos (with music)
We’re still enjoying the set of vintage pinup images we shot earlier this fall. There’s something almost refreshing about the style, something that carries a bit of nostalgia while simultaneously keeping the look fresh and exciting. For some people, the look is a part of their everyday lifestyle and for many others, it’s a choice they take advantage of whenever given the opportunity. Pinup is a forever style.
The three sets in this week’s collection are all individual, shot separately with independent themes. Each one is a play on original themes from the 1940s, modernized just enough to keep it from looking like an attempt to make an exact copy. One of my personal rules in shooting this style, and a primary reason I’ve not done it too often, is that while we might enjoy the vintage look, the images themselves need to be fresh and original.
This is the last pinup collection I’ll shoot and I’m pleased with the results. Enjoy the video and its unique transition process. The full images are below. Click on any of the thumbnails to view the collection full screen.
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Pinup is such a classic style that it gets plenty of treatment from photographers around the world. Stylists love it because they get to show off vintage wardrobe. Makeup artists love it for the bright red lips and rosy cheeks. Hairstylists enjoy the opportunity to show off their skills with styles not seen quite as often. The whole look has proven eternally popular with magazines and websites by the dozens devoted to celebrating the look.
If there’s a weak link in the chain, and the preposition is meant to cast some aspersion on whether there is an issue at all, it is in the photography. No matter how well everyone else on the team does, the excitement for the look is lost if the photographer blows it. The two most common errors are too much background and not enough light. When both are present, the pinup style is lost and the model might as well be wearing the latest Yeezy disaster.
We have to remember that pinups were originally paintings and illustrations, not photographs. Yes, they were extremely realistic, but there were certain qualities unique to the medium. First, there was rarely any background at all, and when there was it was minimal. The emphasis was on the body and nothing else. Second, they were very bright with highly saturated colors on the model and soft pastels for the background. Occasionally an artist might include a car, a bottle of wine, or some other prop, but the emphasis was always on the girl.
That’s not to say there’s no room for contemporary influence. Hair color was rarely messed with back in the 1940s and now there are as many options as a hairstylist can dream up. The original audience was almost exclusively male so poses and scenarios were meant to get their attention. Today, the audience skews more toward women and LGBTQ+ topics are popular and valued among that community.
What I like about today’s post is the contrast in presentation. The video treats the images as cherished relics of a bygone era, captured on canvas, worn and washed with age. The photos themselves are high contrast, high saturation with a life ready to jump into your own reality. Both set a mood that makes for a pleasant visit.
This is the first of two volumes of pinups we shot recently. I’ll post the second volume next week. We hope you enjoy our final look at this classic style.
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Critical facts and figures are included here
Reading is important. There’s no valid argument against it. Study after study, over 100 years worth of examination, reiterate the value not only of learning to read well but reading often. There’s no substitute for the endless advantages that come from reading. The case has been made for so long, it’s difficult to consider why everyone isn’t walking around with a book in their hands. In a way, you could. Smartphones are perfectly capable of storing and presenting ebooks that you could read anywhere it’s appropriate for you to be looking at your phone. Some ebook apps will even read it to you if you’re driving and don’t want to put it down.
Yet, somehow, too many people can’t read, and of those who can, too few bother. Adults under age 45 are barely reading at all and when they do, it’s something short. The result is not merely a level of incredible ignorance, but a severe danger to the world as a whole. People who can’t read misinterpret street signs, don’t read instructions, aren’t aware of medical information, and miss important life-saving information. The statistics are in the video so I won’t repeat them here.
So, we thought we’d offer a little encouragement. You see, it turns out that reading fiction is one of the best things you can do for your brain, and yes, erotic fiction counts. Go ahead, picture those steamy moments in your mind. Perhaps you might even recreate them with a consenting partner. As you do, you increase critical neurological skills and may even ward off some forms of dementia. The ways in which we benefit from reading are neverending.
And by all means, never miss an opportunity to read with a unicorn.
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You’ll want to view full screen with the sound on.
The end of a long day. You’re alone, no one else in the house. A little soft music, a relaxing drink, perhaps a light snack. The clothes you’ve been wearing all day weigh you down. You slip out of them, putting them in the growing pile of laundry. You have a couple of hours before anyone else is home. You stretch out on the chaise, relax, and release the stress that has plagued you all day. The important stuff will still be there later. For now, you need some time for mental healing and this is exactly what the doctor prescribed, or would have if doctors actually prescribed common-sense tactics.
As a society, we spend too little time giving our bodies a break. We don’t stop to think about how the many layers we wear contribute to the emotional weight we feel bearing down on us. We censor ourselves, our bodies, and deny ourselves the quiet, alone, naked time that we need to decompress. There are benefits not only for our mental health but physical health as well. Give your skin a chance to breathe, maybe apply some hydrating lotion while massaging your limbs.
Sure, you may want to be dressed before the kids get home, depending on your family dynamic. In-laws coming for dinner? Yeah, you don’t need the stares. But for now, this moment is yours. Take it. Drink it in. Shed all the nonsense that inevitably builds up across the day. Breathe. Close your eyes. Enjoy the music. You’ve not just earned this moment, you need it. Claim it.
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There are many reasons for making love in the dark. The excitement. The open door to fantasy. Perhaps secrecy. Not wanting everyone else putting their nose in your business. Making love in the dark is passionate, thrilling, erotic, and soul-stirring. These are the moments we remember.
Do I really need to say anything else?
Oh, okay, holding your partner upside down is totally optional. Be careful.
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Watch full screen with sound on, please
Imagine showing up to a hotel, exhausted and weary from travel. You get the key to your room and open the door to find the maid there, tidying up, fluffing pillows, adding the final touches for your stay. She smiles. She seems friendly.
But after she leaves, you notice things are just a bit off. The towels are a deep red, the color of blood. An array of bandages sit on a shelf in the bathroom. The sheets are ice cold. The chocolates on the pillow are already unwrapped. And “Hotel California” plays on an endless loop through an unseen sound system.
Tired, you get ready for bed. All that matters is that you get a good night’s sleep. The maid appears to “tuck you in.” Just one of the “special” room services the hotel offers. She turns out the light, but you never hear her leave.
Your sleep is tortured by nightmares. You toss and turn. Then, you’re awakened by a piercing scream down the hall. That’s it, you’ve had enough. You get dressed, pack your bag, and get ready to leave.
The maid is standing in the hallway as you shut your room door behind you. “There’s a penalty for leaving early,” she says. Then she smiles in a way that ignites fear throughout your body. Your mind says run but your feet won’t move.
Don’t worry, it’s just a dream. Maybe.
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WATCH THE VIDEO PERSPECTIVE FIRST
We like to think we know the proverb, “Spare the rod and spoil the child,” but that would be incorrect. What Proverbs 13:24 says is, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” What the proverb seems to advocate is a severe form of capital punishment in child-rearing. While that might have been acceptable in 3,000 B.C.E. or so, it’s the type of thing that can get child protective services called on you today. Abuse is not good discipline.
However, some people, consenting adults who understand the risks and consequences of their actions, enjoy having the rod laid to their skin. For some, it is a form of erotic pleasure from which they derive great enjoyment. Sure, Freudian therapists have a field day with all the latent dysfunctionality of such an activity, but at the end of the day, for those who are knowledgeable in the practice and delivery of erotic punishment, there’s no lasting harm, only pleasure.
And when the punishment is delivered by the right person, it can become a work of art. The video and still images are different perspectives so be sure to observe both.
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The House Next Door Caught Fire
A discouraging way for 2021 to end
I was sound asleep this afternoon, trying to get in a good, long nap so there might be some hope of actually staying up until midnight. I was mildly aware of the dogs being restless, the sound of diesel-fueled trucks in the neighborhood, but that’s not uncommon around here so I ignored it. Then, there was a knock at the back door. That is extremely uncommon. Our yard stays locked down because of the dogs. To knock on our door means jumping the fence.
“Get out! The house is on fire!” the boy yelled.
I jumped up and ran to the door.
“Get everyone out!” he said. “The house next door is on fire!”
I quickly turned around and yelled at the kids. “Out the door! Now! The house is on fire!” I grabbed the dogs and tossed them in the van. We quickly exited and pulled across the street. At that point, I wasn’t sure but what it might be our house that was on fire. It was a risk I couldn’t take.
Only once I was sure that our house was reasonably safe did I run back in and grab things like the kids’ shoes. I stood on the corner with all our neighbors watching the flames fully engulf the house, one that was largely a carbon copy of ours. At least three, possibly four fire units from both Indianapolis Fire Department and the Speedway Fire Department had responded. The streets were full of fire trucks and hoses and what seemed like 50 firefighters.
For the first time ever, my camera had not been among the things I thought to grab. I thought about it, but it didn’t seem as important this time. I caught a couple of pictures with my phone, and waited, trying to keep the dogs calm and answer the kids’ questions.
Only after the fire was mostly out and the kids and dogs safely back inside did I grab the camera and take a few pictures. Somehow, this seems a fitting ending to my year in so many ways.
As I’m standing there with my camera, my phone buzzed. Betty White had died.
Fuck this. If this is how 2022 is going to come in, we’d best brace ourselves for the toughest year yet.
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