Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat.—Anais Nin
Okay, I have been putting this off all day, immersing myself in fashion shows and trying to not think of how horribly off I was with my Grammy predictions. The time has come to own up to my errors, though, and take my just beating for not being even remotely in tune with last night’s music awards. I guess I’m more out of touch than I realized. Let’s take a look.
Album of the Year
My prediction: I admitted that Taylor Swift would likely win, but was really hoping for Alabama Shakes.
Who actually won: Taylor Swift, of course.
Song of the Year
My prediction: Ed Sheerhan, Thinking Out Loud
Who actually won: Ed Sheerhan, Thinking Out Loud. Hey, I actually got this one right!!
Record of the Year
My prediction: was split between D’Angelo, Really Love, and Mark Ronson, Uptown Funk
Who actually won: Mark Ronson, Uptown Funk. I’ll take half a credit for this one.
Best New Artist
My prediction: Meghan Trainor
Who actually won: Meghan Trainor. Hey, wait, this isn’t tasting too much like defeat at this point. I have 2.5 out of 4!
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
My prediction: Maroon Five
Who actually won: Mark Ronson. Yeah, I can see why. I just like sharing the love, ya’ know? Okay, so I’m essentially 50/50 at this point.
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
My prediction: Tony Bennett, The Silver Lining: The Songs of Jerome Kern
Who actually won: Tony Bennett, The Silver Lining: The Songs of Jerome Kern Oooh, I’m 3.5 of 6 now!
Best Pop Vocal Album
My prediction: I admitted that Taylor Swift was a shoe-in for this one, but preferred James Taylor, just because
Who actually won: Taylor Swift. I’ll take a half point for this one because, technically, I was correct, I just didn’t want to be. So, I’m 4/7 now. Not a horrible defeat.
Best Rock Performance
My prediction: How could it not be the Foo Fighters?
Who actually won: Alabama Shakes, Don’t Wanna Fight. Sigh. Yeah, Alabama Shakes rocks, I’ll give you that, but they didn’t have to do it with a broken leg! I’m 4/8 now.
Best Rock Song
My prediction: Florence + The Machine, What Kind of Man
Who actually won: Alabama Shakes, Don’t Wanna Fight. Once the Grammy voters get on a roll, they don’t tend to stray. This one was a matter of taste. I’m not 4/9 and the defeat is starting to hurt.
Best R&B Performance
My prediction: Andra Day, Rise Up.
Who actually won: The Weeknd, Earnd It. I’m actually rather upset about this one. The Weeknd is a great group, but there’s no way I’m taking anything from such a ridiculous movie. 4/10 now.
Best R&B Song
My prediction: D’Angelo and Kendra Foster, Really Love
Who actually won: D’Angelo and Kendra Foster, Really Love. I was so very happy with this one. Congratulations, Kendra! 5/11 isn’t too bad, I suppose.
Best Country Duo/Group
My prediction: Joey + Rory, for sentimental reasons. I mean, are you really going to say no to a dying woman?
Who actually won: Little Big Town, Girl Crush. I call bullshit on this one. Wouldn’t have hurt anyone to be generous with this one Grammy. I’m 5/12
Best Country Song
My prediction: Little Big Town, Girl Crush
Who actually won: Little Big Town, Girl Crush. See, I’m good with Little Big Town taking this one; it’s a cool song. They didn’t need both, though. I’m 6/13.
Best Country Solo Performance
My prediction: Cam, Burning House
Who actually won: Chris Stapleton, Traveller. Sorry, I’m not impressed. That makes me 6/14. Defeat does not taste good.
Best Pop Solo Performance
My prediction: The Weeknd, Can’t Feel My Face
Who actually won: Ed Sheerhan, Thinking Out Loud. Another example of the Grammy voters getting in a rut. This piling on thing is distasteful. So is being 6/15.
Best Gospel Performance/Song
My prediction: Kirk Franklin, Wanna Be Happy
Who actually won: Kirk Franklin, Wanna Be Happy Yes, and this makes me happy. I move up to 7/16.
Best American Roots Performance
My prediction: Mavis Staples, See That My Grave Is Kept Clean
Who actually won: Mavis Staples, See That My Grave Is Kept Clean Because child, you would be ill to make any other choice. I’ll happily mark that win and go up 8/17.
Best American Roots Song
My prediction: Don Henley, The Cost of Living
Who actually won: Jason Isbell, 24 Frames. Again, the Grammy Voters have no sense of tradition or sentiment here. Damn it.
Those were all the predictions I made, so I finish at eight of eighteen, less than 50% accuracy. Defeat hurts. I’m not happy. But then, typically only the winners are happy. So, we’ll wait until next year and do it all again. My crow is eaten.