Clever gimmicks of mass distraction yield a cheap soulcraft of addicted and self-medicated narcissists. —Cornel West
Here we are at the end of another week, finding ourselves staring at the monitor in disbelief. As I’m writing, the death toll from a truck driver plowing into a Bastille Day crowd in Nice, France, stands at 85. We are shocked. We are saddened. We are fearful. We are furious. How can this keep happening? Is there no place safe? Are all our efforts to keep ourselves safe for naught? Is this the distraction or is this life?
Part of our frustration comes from that fact that most people know that love and compassion are the solution. In the days between incidents, we see those examples of selflessness and caring between people of disparate groups. A black child hugs a white police officer. A Muslim community gives aid to members of a Christian community in need. The pictures are quick to appear and pushed heavily by media. We want to think that there is still hope. We prefer the distraction of good things over bad.
The truth is that when such inconceivable horrors plague us on such a regular basis, we need the distraction to keep ourselves from going insane with worry and fear. With apologies to Dr. West’s quote above, knowing that we are being distracted does not deter us nor rescue us from the reality. Rather, the distraction of entertainment, specifically music, occupies the fear centers of our brain so that we can more distinctly focus on the severity of the issues.
Three well-known female vocal artists dropped new singles last night. They are a necessary distraction. Listen.
Katy Perry: Rise
You do have your dancing shoes on, right? The electronic-driven sound of this new song is made for dancing in a dark club with swirling lights. The words, “I’ll survive,” pop out early in the first verse and then you’re not sure of the rest of the lyrics for most of the remainder of the song. You don’t care. All you want to do is dance hard, until your body is soaked with sweat and you’ve forgotten all the hate and danger in the world. I won’t bother passing judgment on whether this is Ms. Perry’s best song ever. This is a distraction. Forget the world and dance.
Katy Perry – Rise (New Song) by 12hzx
Britney Spears: Make Me
Pop diva Britney Spears is always good for a distraction or two, though it’s not always the music that’s distracting. This is a sexy, sultry, summer love song that brings the heat in a good way. In fact, for those so inclined, this might be worth adding to your love-making playlist. The slow tempo never varies, even when rapper G-Eazy jumps in (because, apparently, there’s a requirement in pop music now to feature a rap segment). Steady, sensual, Ms. Spears does an acceptable job of keeping your mind off terrorists and insane politicians for a few minutes.
India Arie: Breathe
This beautifully calm song from one of music’s most beautiful voices feels more like inspiration than it does a distraction. The song begins with soft acoustic guitar. The lyrics start: Sometimes you just can’t believe the things your eyes see so much, injustice in this life. It’s happening right on the TV screen.” The song hits close to home for every person of color and anyone sensitive to the realities of being non-white in the United States. The song reminds us that sometimes, many times, the first thing we have to do is stop and breathe. Throughout the song, Ms. Arie is surrounded by a beautiful group of people who join her on the chorus. The elderly lady sitting just left of India is especially wonderful to watch.
Whenever the next tragedy strikes, and I’ve no doubt there will be another far too soon, this is the song you want to play. Play it over and over until you get the message. We all need to breathe.
A Time For Everything
I know emotions are running high today. There is a desire on the part of many to express their feelings of anger and frustration. There is a time for protest, and perhaps this is that time. I firmly believe that there is also a need to step back, let go of the issues for a moment, and reassess our place in the world. Take a moment to be distracted by something beautiful, something fun, something happy. It is the only way any of us survive.
Domestic Violence Intervention
This is not love. It is a crime, … You can’t look the other way just because you have not experienced domestic violence with your own flesh. — Salma Hayek
When Kat witnessed domestic violence taking place, she stepped in to stop it. Not every response was so helpful.
One thing I’ve learned having US Marines in my life is that they are not passive. When they see a situation that requires immediate attention, they act; it’s in their nature, a part of their training that never leaves.
That response kicked in yesterday while Kat was on her way home. Coming up to the intersection at 30th and Kessler, on the West side of Indianapolis, she found a small car sitting a couple of spaces back from the traffic light, not moving. As she watched, she saw the male passenger grab the female driver by the hair, pull her across to his side of the car, and bang her head against the window. That was all she needed to see.
Kat pulled around in front of the car so it could not easily leave and rescued the woman who was being beaten, removing her from the car to a position of safety outside. As they were calling 911 for help, the male passenger moved to the driver’s seat and stole the car, swerving around Kat and speeding away, leaving the woman stranded.
IMPD was there almost immediately, two female officers well equipped to handle the situation. They took statements from both Kat and the victim. As part of standard procedure, the officers warned Kat that what she did was dangerous, that she should have called 911 rather than stopping. We’ve both heard that line before. The risks are real, but the immediate risk to the woman’s life was greater.
But then …
As the officers were sending Kat on her way, one rather wryly made the statement, “Don’t worry, it’s just drugs and prostitution.”
Kat’s anger seethed. She knew better than to confront the officer right there and came on home. Nothing she could say at that particular moment would help the situation. She knew, though, that the woman wasn’t likely to get the help she needed.
Women across the country were outraged last week when a California judge let a former Stanford swimmer get off on a rape charge with only a six-month sentence, of which he’ll only likely serve three months. The story illustrates just how deeply ingrained the rape and abuse cultures have become in our society. Despite numerous ad campaigns attempting to draw attention to the issue, and even mandatory classes on many college campuses addressing date rape and matters of consent, the justice system itself, and even some in law enforcement still holds to the demeaning and outdated concept that someone’s actions, gender, style of dress, state of sobriety, or occupation naturally leaves them open to and even deserving of domestic violence, abuse, and even workplace violence.
Too often, and for too many years, our society has tolerated the lame excuse, “She was asking for it.” I cannot imagine the mind of any intelligent and critically reasoning person ever believing such a horrendous statement. Who asks to be abused? What person asks to have their hair pulled, their body dragged across a car and their head ferociously beaten against a window? In what insane universe could those actions of violence ever be justified?
Look at the numbers
Domestic violence is one of the most serious issues facing our country, but one which very few want to discuss, and even fewer of us are willing to get involved. Take a look at these statistics:
The rate of incidents is appalling and in a country that is serious about stopping the ever-increasing rate of crimes such as mass shootings we should be looking at those with a history of witnessing or being involved in domestic violence as the primary source. If we want a safer America, we first have to start with safer homes, safer relationships, and a justice system that punishes the perpetrator, not the victim.
A little respect, please
As disappointing as the officer’s statement was yesterday, such a lack of respect is not unusual. Kat listened in on the 911 conversation and found the operator dismissive and condescending, as though she didn’t feel the need to take the crime seriously. Others have reported similar 911 experiences where operators either delayed in sending help, or downplayed the severity of the situation.
Let’s get this straight right now: NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED! Prostitutes are not asking for it. Drug addicts are not asking for it. Drunks are not asking for it. Women who dress in short skirts, high heels, or low-cut dresses are not asking for it. Strippers are not asking for it. Female bartenders are not asking for it. Housewives who burn dinner are not asking for it. Children who are loud and noisy are not asking for it. Homeless people are not asking for it. Mentally or emotionally incapacitated people are not asking for it. Elderly people are not asking for it. Those who disagree with you are not asking for it. Those who challenge a presidential candidate are not asking for it.
NO ONE IS ASKING FOR IT!
The woman Kat helped yesterday was almost certainly involved with some form of controlled substance. That does not exclude her, however, from the protection and respect that every human being deserves! Even if the woman is a prostitute, she still does not deserve to be beaten. She deserves respect, she deserves the same help you would want for your own wife or daughter.
We must end this culture where we think that anyone deserves to be treated with violence of any kind. What people deserve is compassion, sympathy, and love.
One More Thing
Before I end, let me say that we know domestic violence takes many forms and that getting away from that violence is often not easy. If you live in Indiana and need help, there is someone you can call:
800.332.7385
The members of the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence (icdavinc.org) will do their best to help you change your situation and find safety. As always, if you feel your life is in immediate danger, call 911.
What Kat did yesterday involves a high level of risk and is not the type of intervention I recommend for most people. Kat is a highly trained and experienced United States Marine. The action she took may have saved a life. We don’t question the quality of that life or judge the woman in any way. She deserves to live free of violence just as much as you or I. We hope she gets all the help she needs.
And thank you, Kat, for being brave enough to intervene. I love you.
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