Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. —Winston Churchill
Five years can seem like a long time, but having the time to mature can make some things all the more beautiful
I sometimes joke that I know I’m getting old when the even the best scotch in the world is half my age. While that’s not entirely true on either end of the equation, there’s a point at which one no longer thinks that they’re improving with age. There’s no definitive point at which that occurs. Some start feeling old when they hit 30. Others still feel young at 70. Only you can determine how you are going to feel at any given stage of your life.
The kids were watching a cooking show recently wherein Bo Derek was a guest judge. Yes, the same Bo Derek that raised more than eye brows when she appeared in the 1979 movie 10 opposite Dudley Moore. The difference between her look then and now, more than 35 years later, was astonishing. Derek, who turns 60 later this year, had not bothered to attempt to conceal her age nor the marks of a lifetime of experience. She was still beautiful, but in a way defined by maturity.
Our model for this set of portraits, who I’ll simply refer to as K. in order to keep stalking to a minimum, hadn’t quite hit that 25-year-old mark when life led her to do other things. She changed occupations, had new experiences, and even attempted to settle down a bit. There were ups and there were downs and there were lessons learned that one would rather read about than experience. She comes back now, five years since she was last in front of the camera, more mature, wiser for the experience, and even more beautiful than before. She’s sporting some amazing new ink on her back, and a revised attitude toward life. The difference is significant.
We have Owen Tate to thank for the take on K.’s hair and make-up, a slight revision from what he did for a contest last month. I found the violet color on her lips and the just-rolled-out-of-bed look to her hair a refreshing difference from her older pictures.
I don’t mean to imply that every young model should take five years off and mature. I’ve missed having K. in front of the camera and I can’t say that going through some of the same experiences would make as positive a difference as it did with K. Not everyone would necessarily survive. Yet, that five years’ difference is a positive for K. I’m hoping this set of portrats might prove inspirational for others we’ve not seen in a while to take a moment and try again.
Beauty doesn’t stop at any given age. Beauty grows with us if we let it. Don’t ever hide because of a few years difference. Embrace your beauty and enjoy.
When you see a dog wearing the same outfit as you and the dog wears it better.
When there’s no Pantone® number to match anything you’re wearing.
When people follow you because they’re sure you must be on your way to a circus. 
When you’re wearing fishnet and the park ranger gives you a ticket for carrying over the limit. 
When the tags in all your clothes say “Made In Bangladesh.” 
When The Fairy Tale Ends
Happiness is like those palaces in fairy tales whose gates are guarded by dragons: we must fight in order to conquer it.—Alexandre Dumas
Not every day is a good one, nor should we ever expect them to be.
One of my dear friends, Jane, whose birthday I missed yesterday and who writes a most wonderful blog, frequently reminds her students that the versions of fairy tales they see presented by Disney and the like are not true. When Hans Christian Anderson wrote The Little Mermaid, he justifiably kills his title character at the end; that’s right, the little mermaid dies. In the original telling of Cinderella, the evil stepsisters have their eyes plucked out. The tales penned by the brothers Grimm were bloody, vicious and violent. Why? Because such stories were meant to be cautionary tales, warnings against dangerous, self-centered, and inappropriate behavior. Life is not fair, the stories warn, and happily ever after is a myth.
This week has been a painful reminder of just how unhappy life can be. People we have admired, who have entertained us, who have sacrificed for us, who saved our lives, have passed on. Not just one or two people, as we are rather accustomed to hearing, but several people of some noteworthiness, have left us. Here’s a partial list, in case you weren’t paying attention:
All those people, gone in the span of seven days. There were more, of course. Many died whose names are not so familiar to us. On Friday, a terrorist attack on a Burkina Faso hotel left at least 28 dead, including an American missionary. All around the world, in every hospital in every city, families gathered as loved ones, some old and suffering, some never really having a chance at life, moved on.
So much for a fairy tale with happy endings. This week seems to have gone out of its way to show us that there is no “happily ever after.” Even the lives that seem the most wonderful and glamorous, those who appear to have everything in the world going their way, still die.
What, then, shall we do when the fairy tale is over? When we have run out of tears to cry and are weary from mourning, how do we face this incredibly cruel world? Any good reader should know the answer to that question. When one fairy tale ends, you start another. Tragedy is the platform upon which the foundation of comedy arises. The ending of one story, or one set of stories, prepares us for the beginning of the next.
Yes, it is true that even the next story likely ends with its main character’s demise, but every story is worth the telling. There are lessons to be learned even in the most heart-breaking situations. We do not stop here. We keep going.
I have been distantly following the continuing saga of Cory and Joey Feek, as have millions of others. I’m not going to sit here anre pretend that I was ever a fan. I’m not big into contemporary country music, and until their lives took a tragic turn I’d not even heard of them. Now, it appears that Joey’s story is nearing its end. When it does, headlines will focus on the love of a mother for her daughter, and a husband for his wife, and many will share in their grief. What’s important is that we realize that there is a story that goes onward. Their daughter, Indiana, is just beginning her story, even as her mother’s is ending.
While it is easy to become emeshed in the stories of others, however, we must remember that we are the ones writing our own stories. While our tales may be entertwined with those of others, we are ultimately the authors of our own fates. Even in circumstances where we might not have control of when or how our story ends, we still decide through the way we live and the decisions we make whether our fairy tale is tragic or happy.
2016 seems to be getting off to a very rough start, but perhaps this is this universe telling us that we need to focus more on the future, not the past; that we should focus less on the lives lost and more on those still living. Not that we don’t remember those who have died, but we realize that their passing is but the end of a chapter, not the whole book. The fairy tale is not over. There is so much more to be written and it is up to you to do the writing.
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