If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don’t have a regime. —Jon Stewart
Telling a joke without making everyone groan is a talent few have but at least we still smile
My late father couldn’t tell a joke well to save him. He was so bad at telling jokes, in fact, that the mention of that characteristic was part of his eulogy. Poppa had a great sense of humor and loved to laugh. He would go to various conventions and meetings and here what he thought was a decent enough joke (it made him chuckle) and would want to re-tell it to his congregation. He failed almost every time.
I’m not sure my brother or I fare much better. I tend to drag everything out into a long story rather than going straight for the punchline. That’s why I’m able to fill this space so completely every morning. I can’t remember the last time I heard my brother tell a joke. I’m sure he does, I’m just never around to hear them. He doesn’t really come off as a big comedian, though.
Telling a joke that doesn’t leave the audience groaning is tough. Many groans are based on puns and our response to puns will always be a groan. Some jokes are just bad. Still, even when a joke fails we’re often left smiling, which is an improvement over not smiling.
Yesterday was #NationalTellAJokeDay which sent everyone to Twitter in an attempt to tell a joke. As in real life, most failed. Miserably. But we’ve taken a few that made us smile, divided them into categories, and leave them for you here in hopes that it might make your day better. We all can use a smile about now, can’t we?
Business
My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.#NationalTellAJokeDay
(100s more at https://t.co/o0EgDUXT1T)
— Ray Vallese (@RayVallese) August 17, 2016
Why did the baker stop making #Donuts? He was feDD up with the hole business. Retweet in honor of #NationalTellAJokeDay!
— Dunkin’ Donuts SW FL (@DDSWFla) August 16, 2013
It’s #NationalTellaJokeDay – Why did the penguin enter the theatre? Because he wanted to get into the snow-business! pic.twitter.com/hnpyTPyhye
— EuronicsUK (@Euronics_UK) August 16, 2016
School
What’s the king of all school supplies?
The ruler!#NationalTellAJokeDay @OAESA— OAESA (@OAESA) August 16, 2016
Why did 3.14 decide to go to divinity school?
He heard it was a great place to be pi-ous. #NationalTellAJokeDay #mathjokes #badpuns
— Bedtime Math (@BedtimeMath) August 16, 2016
RT @MrJMarkus: @NWF What did the buffalo say as his kid went to his first day of school? …”Bison!”#NationalTellAJokeDay
— National Wildlife (@NWF) August 16, 2013
The Internet
What’s the Internet’s favorite animal?
The lynx. #NationalTellAJokeDay— Jake robison (@jakerobison1) August 17, 2016
Before the internet, cookie monster was the only way to get rid of cookies #NationalTellAJokeDay #cookies #internet #humor #nerdhumor
— Ryan Clark (@AwknerdComic) August 16, 2016
It’s #NationalTellAJokeDay!
Q: How do trees access the internet?
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A: They log in! pic.twitter.com/WLxF0pxblc— Florida Trail Assoc. (@floridatrail) August 16, 2016
Sex
Say no to ear sex, it’s the number one cause of hearing aids #NationalTellAJokeDay #ToastedComedy
— Kenny D Eichenberg (@ToastedKennyD) August 16, 2016
#NationalTellAJokeDay Fav dumb joke
Old couple at home:
WIFE: Want some super-sex?
HUSBAND: I’ll take the soup. pic.twitter.com/S453QJgCUK— Rick G. Rosner (@dumbassgenius) August 16, 2016
#NationalTellaJokeDay …
Why does the frog have the shortest sex life ?
He hops on….hops off…then croaks.
:-/ https://t.co/av9tIB6uma— Monica Naryshkine (@monicanevett) August 16, 2016
Okay, a couple more just because the groans make me giggle
#NationalTellAJokeDay Wanna know why rabbits are so quiet when they’re having sex? Cuz they got cotton balls.
— Burn Whom? (@meanieburn) August 16, 2014
#NationalTellAJokeDay Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.
— Quantum Flux (@QuantumFlux1964) August 16, 2016
Okay, so there’s nothing deep or meaningful about any of these jokes. There’s nothing wrong with letting yourself smile over something silly. After all, it’s only Wednesday. We need a little silly to get us through the rest of the week.