Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. —Kurt Vonnegut
When someone says “I love you” and you don’t exactly feel the same way, how are you supposed to respond?
Saying “I love you” is a traumatic and critical portion of every relationship. I still remember how I felt when Kat and I exchanged that phrase for the first time. It was important because, prior to that point in our lives, we had both questioned whether there even was such a thing as love. When one starts talking about love we invoke a powerful set of emotions that are not always within our ability to control. Good things often happen when people say those words, but our responses are not always predictable.
The hashtag game #BadResponsesToILoveU is trending this morning and I can’t say that I’m too terribly surprised. Almost everyone I know has been on one side or the other of saying “I love you” to someone and not getting the response you were expecting. Silence, of course, is probably the worst of all responses. When the person to whom you just said, “I love you” doesn’t say or do anything, you’re not sure for yourself exactly how to proceed. Do you apologize? Do you explain? Do you blow it off as though nothing happened? Getting a bad response to “I love you” is devastating.
However, when it’s not happening directly to us, bad responses can be hilarious. This is one of the places where the Internet shines because people can think of thousands of ways to be hilariously cruel. So, I thought we’d take some time to be thankful we’re not the one putting the “I love you” out there.
What Twitter Has To Say
I don’t have time to cull through the thousands of tweets this hashtag has generated, but here are a few that I really enjoyed.
That’s so weird, your going to be like the 5th person today that’s said that to me. #BadResponsesToILoveU
— Right Hand Arm, Man (@shaolinmonk_808) October 23, 2016
#BadResponsesToILoveU You still have to pay the taxi fare mate.
— Paul Stevens (@PaulieStevens) October 23, 2016
#BadResponsesToILoveU But God loves you more….
— Astor Igwe George (@GrandPabbyChuck) October 23, 2016
#BadResponsesToILoveU I love you too, Denise-Diane? Debbie. Wait, I know this. Donna?
— Kevin P. Sheridan (@kps67) October 23, 2016
#BadResponsesToILoveU: Now why would you wanna do a fools thing like dat fer?😳
— ADELLA GARNER (@Crazy8ADELLA) October 23, 2016
#BadResponsesToILoveU How did you get in my house?
— Bobby A. Worley (@charger731965) October 23, 2016
#BadResponsesToILoveU mom, stop it, I’m 48.
— LVEric eerily (@LVGambler123) October 23, 2016
There are thousands more, if you are looking for an entertaining way to waste time.
Things We Didn’t Say … Yet
I laughed when I saw this game because, having been on both sides, I really enjoy a good burn of a response. Of course, I’m probably, almost certainly too nice to actually every use these on anyone, but here are a few I have in my back pocket, just in case the need arises.
Why is it I always seem to attract crazy people?
You know, your roommate said the same thing last night.
This wouldn’t have happened had you not had that last shot of tequila
Yeah, this is why I keep considering a life of celibacy
Sigh. Too bad. There’s no cure for addictions like yours. It’s a brain disease.
I’m going to let you down easy: I’d rather be kissed by a cobra
I blame the Republican Party for making you feel that way
Right, you know I volunteered to help colonize Mars, don’t you?
Have you ever considered shock therapy?
Sure, but will you still feel that way when I’m crowned Emperor of the Underworld [strike a pose]?
You know, I’ve been looking for a way to not say that same thing to you.
You stole my M&Ms, didn’t you?
Okay, now try saying the same thing while naked and see if that makes me feel any different
Don’t worry, we all have our little pet annoyances
That’s funny (laughing). For a second there, I thought you said you love me
{Putting finger in one ear and wiggling it) Hold on, my hearing aid isn’t working. I thought you said you love me.
Sorry, I’m fresh out of sperm. I gave your sister the last batch.
And the guys on Gamma 9 tried telling me there’s no intelligent life on this planet
Dammit, that ball gag just keeps falling out of your mouth
I know, I’m having entirely too much fun with this game. And again, I would never actually use these on anyone.
Probably.
Except in the event of an emergency wedding.
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