Painted Angels (2010)

“The bottom of a cup of coffee is not as good as the bottom of her body—which is actually in the middle of her body.” ― Jarod Kintz, I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

[one_half padding=”4px 10px 0 4px”]Boy shorts.
Briefs.
French cut.
Hipsters.
Bikini.
Thong.
G-string.

Covering women’s posteriors is a style of fashion all its own. In contemporary society, no part of the female anatomy is more celebrated than is the gluteus maximus and the underwear chosen often has a specific purpose and, perhaps, even a non-verbal message. When it comes to what sits between them and their jeans, women are often quite picky. Sure, there are certain stages in life where one might only be concerned with which pair is clean as they stumble out of bed, but for the majority choosing underwear is a matter of both comfort and practicality. Sensual qualities may be a secondary consideration, but no one wants a pair of underwear that doesn’t fit well and results in chaffing, no matter how good it might look.

For men in a relationship, the matter of women’s underwear is dangerous and threatening territory. One day she’s wearing a thong, which he finds attractive and sexy. The next day she’s wearing briefs, aka granny panties, and he’s confused why she would choose a look so much more conservative and decidedly not sexy. When she wears something french cut and lacy, he may find them more challenging to remove during a moment of passion. And if he goes shopping with her for new underwear, the inevitable question of, “do these make my butt look big,” looms like a guillotine above his head.

Yes, not every woman bothers with underwear. We get that. But most do and for many what they wear down there may be a more significant matter than what they wear over it.[/one_half]

[one_half_last padding=”4px 4px 0 10px”]From a position of pure practicality, each style has it’s purpose. Boy shorts, for example, minimize panty lines when one is wearing a style that hugs one’s rear end. “That time of the month” is when many women choose briefs, though they also work with high-waisted pants and sometimes even come with some form of tummy control. The high cut of French cut panties works well with skirts and dresses that have slits up to there. Bikinis are always popular because they work with just about anything, though the elastic sometimes shows depending on the style. Low-rise jeans have made hipsters more popular as they provide the comfort of boy shorts without being visible. Thongs work for the tightest of clothing and G-strings are something one wears when one has to wear something but doesn’t really want anything.

As with any fashion style, variations abound and the type of fabric and finishing can play as much into the comfort and sexiness of any given piece. Not every style works on every body and figuring out what’s best changes as one ages. Life experience, childbirth, heredity, and even some medications can dramatically affect the shape and size of hips and surrounding muscles. There are times when no amount of diet and exercise can remove what an over-active thyroid has delivered. Lycra and similar fabrics work great for those who are athletic and active, but cotton breathes better and helps avoid certain infections. Every woman knows that there’s not just one type and one style that works for them.

One thing for certain, though, is that no matter what a woman is wearing on her bottom, people are going to always look on with admiration at a well-ensconced posterior. The Western world especially is so fascinated with booty that we sing about them. Song titles ranging from Queen’s “Fat-bottomed Girl” to Sir Mix-a-lot’s infamous “Baby’s Got Back,” and even Megan Trainer’s catchy “All About That Bass,” among dozens of others. With all that attention on their back sides, it’s no wonder that what women choose to wear there is a rather important matter.[/one_half_last]