Unattractive people are more obsessed with looks. —Rae Dawn Chong
Note, added May 31, 2016, 5:40 PM: Since this article was published, we have learned than another employee who immigrated from the Philippines three years ago has been told to lose her accent. Nevermind that the owner of this business is herself an immigrant whose native accent is more pronounced than the Philippino woman. We are extremely distressed by this continued encroachment on what we consider being the employee’s civil rights. We are wondering if the matter regarding the accent might even be an EEOC violation. If you know, please contact us.
I have a very strong dislike of pretentious people. Whether it’s because someone’s credit card limit runs higher, or they live in a special part of town, or belong to a number of social clubs, whenever someone pretends to be better than the people around them it tends to make me rather angry. While speaking in generalities is always a bit dangerous, for there are certainly exceptions every time, when one witnesses identical behavior from the same group of people repeatedly, the correlations draw themselves and we have a strong one: the women of Carmel, Indiana are obsessed with nipples! They pay to have their own modified, then criticize those whose appearance is more natural.
Nipples are somewhat of a frequent topic around here, too, and I suppose someone might make the claim that we’re obsessed with them as well. I won’t dodge that assessment. Just this year, we’ve discussed Fighting Over the Nipples and When Nipples Offend. Nipples are frequently present in our photography as well. We are very supportive of nipples around here and believe that women should have just as much a right to bare theirs as do men. The #FreeTheNipple campaign is one of our favorites. We’re not shy.
What happened to set off our alarm about Carmel being so negatively obsessed, though, was something that happened in a place of business yesterday. Now, there are some caveats here before I share the incident. The business itself was in no way related to nor responsible for the incident, so they won’t be mentioned directly and I’ll try to keep any inferences to a minimum. The young woman directly involved also needs to remain anonymous and we will extend that courtesy to the pretentious person who is so obsessed as well. The industry involved is highly regulated and we don’t wish to cost anyone their employment.
The young woman involved, let’s call her Lenore, works at the front desk of this particular business. The business is owned by a lovely though over-stressed woman and women are their primary customers, though not exclusively. The primary employees of this business are well-trained professionals who are expected to be among the best in the city at what they do. Their dress code is regulated by state law and both fines and loss of license can result if they are in violation of those laws. While Lenore’s position is not one subject to those strict codes, her employee handbook, which we have seen, requires her to dress stylishly in a manner portraying current trends, and primarily in black. We can understand why everyone there is a bit obsessed with clothing.
In keeping with these guidelines, Lenore was dressed in black dress slacks and a black blouse over which she wore a knee-length black sweater. The last thing a normal person would notice about Lenore is her nipples. She has an attractive face, an infectious smile, and a demeanor that is welcoming. Her breasts are not large; quite the contrary, if she were to wear a bra, it would need to be a AA cup, which is extremely difficult to find. Given her attire and body frame, to even notice Lenore’s nipples at all means one is having to stare obsessively at them. I can see where an adolescent boy might be tempted to do that, but for anyone else it’s just creepy!
Yet, that is exactly what happened. One of Lenore’s co-workers from the regulated side of the business, we’ll call her Delilah, informed Lenore that “people” were “offended” by her nipples and that she should wear a bra.
Just to be clear, Lenore asked, “You mean, they can see my nipples through my blouse?”
“No,” she was told. But they could see the outline of her nipples and that was offensive.
What utter and complete pretentious bullshit! I wish I was making this up. How obsessed with nipples does one have to be for the mere outline beneath totally opaque fabric to be offensive? Even more, how totally body-obsessed and turgid must one be to find offense in the natural condition of someone else’s body?
Even worse, though, this isn’t the first time Lenore has encountered such a response while at work as well as at other places around Carmel. In fact, it is only when she is in Carmel that anyone says anything about her nipples at all and it is always women, not men, who claim to be offended!
This is an unacceptable form of body shaming. Imagine how one might feel if someone came up to them and said, “Your fat rolls are visible beneath your shirt; you need to wear a girdle.” We would all be aghast at such an offensive statement. Any time we take offense at any aspect of a person’s natural appearance, shaming them for being who they are, we are engaging in bullying and extremely unacceptable behavior!
Yet, this type of behavior continues to happen in Carmel more than anywhere else in the metropolitan Indianapolis area. The level of holier-than-thou pretentiousness is extreme among these people, who are ultimately horribly insecure that they are, themselves, not attractive enough, not liked enough, not powerful enough, or not rich enough. As a result, they obsess over things such as hair styles, body modifications, and nipples.
Lenore was deeply offended and angered by Delilah’s actions. A quick look around the business revealed both employees and customers with nipples more visible than Lenore’s. Management has been informed and Lenore says she will quit before allowing anyone to bully her in this manner.
No matter where one lives, body shaming of any kind is not acceptable. People have nipples. While they can be modified through cosmetic surgery, most of us have little to no control over what our nipples do. To be obsessed with someone else’s body parts to the degree of finding offense is psychotic. If you are that person, you should likely seek professional help. You should definitely keep your mouth shut.
We have more than enough problems in this world without pretentious nut cases being obsessed with other people’s bodies, especially their nipples. Check yourself. No one has the right nor the responsibility to demean anyone else’s physical appearance. Ever. This is one of the lessons you should have learned in kindergarten: Play nice. If you can’t do that, then perhaps you need to not participate in public events. Stay home until you learn some manners.
And, oh, by the way: